O Tempora, O Mores! (February, 1994)

Contented Colonies

Representatives of most of the world’s remaining colonies met in London recently to discuss how to maintain their status. “No country that moved to independence in the last 30 years has any success stories,” said Thomas Jefferson, an official from the Cayman Islands. “We see no benefit in moving on.”

Millions upon millions of people would be better off if they had not shucked European rule. South Africa has enjoyed more years of growth and prosperity under European rule than any other part of Africa. There will be no benefit in majority rule.

‘One Bad Dude’

P.K. McCary of Houston, Texas, thinks she has found a way to get ghetto blacks to turn to Jesus. She has translated the first five books of the Bible into street slang. Some samples from Black Bible Chronicles:

Now when the Almighty was first down with His program, He made the heavens and the earth. The earth was a fashion misfit, being so uncool and dark, but the Spirit of the Almighty came down real tough, so that He simply said, ‘Lighten up!’ And that light was right on time.

Now the serpent was one bad dude, one of the baddest of the animals the Almighty had made. And the serpent spoke to the sister and asked ‘You mean the Almighty told you not to eat of all the trees in the garden?’ And the sister told him, ‘Yeah, snake, I can eat of these trees, just not the tree of knowledge or the Almighty said I’d be knocked off’ And the bad of serpent told the sister, ‘Nah, sister, he’s feeding you a line of bull.’

As it happens, Miss McCary’s Black Bible Chronicles faces competition from something called the Original African Heritage Bible, published by Dr. Cain Felder, Dr. Felder sticks to the King James version, but words spoken to or by Africans (loosely defined) are highlighted. The text is accompanied by a commentary that gives “the African perspective,” and by illustrations and photographs of Africans and American blacks as Bible figures. Dr. Felder scoffs at the street slang Bible, which he calls the “Amos “n’ Andy Bible.”

Alas, some people do not like Dr. Felder’s Bible either. One black divine complains that “the King James version is the most racist version there is,” and speculates that Dr. Felder uses it because the text is off copyright and can be reprinted without royalties. Another black colleague complains that the accompanying commentary lacks a “womanist” [?] perspective.

Miss McCary floats serenely above the fray. “If you have a problem [with my slang Bible]” she says, “go complain to God.”

Anthrax Returns

Anthrax is a disease that people catch from sick cows. It is so contagious and deadly that several armies stockpile anthrax spores as a biological weapon. Anthrax is now on the loose in Haiti.

The disease can be easily eliminated in any minimally-functioning society. There is a 100-percent effective vaccination for cows and if people get anthrax they can be quickly cured with antibiotics. In recent decades, only Haiti and a few African countries have let public health deteriorate to the point that people started dying from anthrax. No one knows how many people have died from the latest outbreak in Haiti.

Black Christmas

Kwanzaa is an “African” festival that was invented by an American black, Maulana Karenga, in 1966. It is a mishmash of various African harvest festivals and runs from December 26th to January first. It competes with Christmas for the allegiance of blacks.

Mr. Karenga claims that 18 million blacks now celebrate Kwanzaa (that would be 60 percent of all blacks) and the idea does seem to be catching on. For the second year running, Hallmark sells Kwanzaa cards, and Woolworth’s promotes Kwanzaa in its stores. Last December, a Kwanzaa Holiday Expo was held in New York City’s Javits Convention Center and attracted about 300 exhibitors. It was not just vendors of African trinkets and colored hats who paid $900 apiece for booths. Pepsi-Cola, AnheuserBusch, Revlon, Chemical Bank, A.T.& T., and Time-Life Books were all there helping celebrate.

The Ben & Jerry’s ice cream company — temporarily renamed Harlem Ben & Jerry’s — was pushing Miz Jelena’s sweet potato pie ice cream, and the four attendants who ran the booth were moved to prayer. On the first day, they joined hands while one lifted up his voice and said: “Lord, give everyone who comes a hungry thirst for this ice cream.”

This was a worrisome appeal for some Kwanzaa adepts, who decry commercialization, but the festival spokesman, Cedric McClester, tried to reassure them. Commercialization is fine, he explained, so long as it is blacks who make the profits.

In the meantime, the white mother of a mulatto child was asked to leave a Kwanzaa celebration at the Roxbury Boys and.Girls Club in Boston. “We’ve had a tradition of it being an all-African event for people of color,” said Sadiki Kambon, who organized the affair.

Secession Can Start Small

The 2,500 people of Hemingway township in South Carolina want to cut their ties with down-at-heel Williamsburg County and attach themselves to up-scale Florence County. The township is 80 percent white while Williamsburg county is 65 percent black and this has all the usual consequences: Hemingway is snug and prosperous while the rest of the county is a pot-holed slough of tin-roof shacks. Florence County, which Hemingway would like to join is, like the township, well-run and predominantly white. A vote on the move was scheduled for January but has been postponed because of law suits and cries of racism. Residents of Hemingway insist that it is the lack of county services, not blacks, that they wish to leave behind.

Dining Out

Late last year, two teen-aged blacks were sitting in a Milwaukee fast-food restaurant wondering whom to rob. They decided on Christine Schweiger because she was white, and they figured that a white woman was less likely to carry a gun than a black. They accosted Miss Schweiger and her ten-year-old daughter on the way to their car and ordered Miss Schweiger onto her knees. She complied, but explained that she had no money. In reply, the blacks blew her brains out with a sawed-off shotgun. As Samuel Francis has pointed out in a recent column in The Washington Times, Milwaukee’s reaction to the killing has been 100 percent wrong: The city is screaming for hand gun control. Miss Schweiger was killed with a shotgun, but never mind. If Milwaukee succeeds in disarming all its law-abiding citizens, cut throats can be certain that potential victims will be unarmed.

The Human Wave

The United Nation’s Fund for Population Activities reports that 100 million people, or nearly two percent of the world’s population, are immigrants. During the 1980s, about 7.4 million immigrants entered the United States legally, and perhaps another 10 million may have entered illegally. The U.N. estimates that ten percent of Mexico’s labor force now lives in the United States. During the same decade, about 15 million people migrated to Western Europe, mainly from North Africa, Turkey, and Eastern Europe. Immigrants send about $66 billion a year back to their homelands, making their remittances second in value only to oil in world trade.

Lunatics Run Asylum

The city of Chicago manages 1,100 rent-subsidized buildings for poor people and spends nearly $70 million a year on guards and security. It appears to be $70 million largely wasted. In many buildings, drug gangs control the buildings, ignoring guards and sometimes relieving them of their weapons. A spokesman for one of the companies hired by the city, T-Force Security, concedes that gangs control many of the buildings. “They’re not going to allow two security officers in the lobby of a building to . . . stop the[drug] money that’s coming in there,” he says.

Baby-Making Machine

Darcus Howe is a black television talk-show host in Britain. Mr. Howe, who has fathered five children by three different women, recently caused a stir when he explained, “I am a West Indian. That means I make children all the time:” Statistics bear out his low regard for marriage. Forty-three percent of black families are headed by a single parent — three times the figure for whites.

Standing Firm

Ken Hamblin, a black radio talk show host in Denver, shows more grit than any white in standing up to the black establishment. When the National Black Caucus of State Legislators held its 17th annual convention in his city, Mr. Hamblin called them “spooks” and “do-nothings.”

When asked to apologize, Mr. Hamblin refused, calling the state legislators “consummate losers.” “Spare me your pain,” he added, “I’m bored with it.” Is there a single white public figure who would have stuck to his guns so firmly?

In the meantime, the Denver police have compiled a list of 6,500 gang members and potential gang members whom they plan to monitor. Blacks are five percent of the population but account for more than half the names on the list. Hispanics are 12 percent of the population and are about a third of the list. The usual busybodies are outraged by the disproportions, but the police are unruffled. They explain that the list simply reflects reality.

A Fat Settlement

A Boston court has ruled that the 1992 Americans With Disabilities Act prohibits discrimination because of obesity. It upheld a jury award of $100,000 to Bonnie Cook, a woman who was denied a job because she is fat. The defendant, which is the state of Rhode Island, pointed out that obese people are more likely to get sick and need expensive workers’ compensation. The state also argued that obesity can be controlled and therefore should not be treated like disabling conditions that cannot be cured. The judge thought otherwise.

Mrs. Cook is 5 feet, two inches tall, and weighs 320 pounds. She was urged to file the suit by her husband, who is blind.

French Folly

In 1980, the French welfare system was ordered to respect the polygamy of African immigrants. Payments rise with every wife and child, so a man with two wives and 10 babies collects about $23,000 a year from the state. The Washington Times (Dec. 1, 1993) reports that this has created a huge demand for mail-order African brides for immigrants who want higher incomes.

The preferred age for new brides is about 14. Young women are traditionally offered to whoever proposes the highest bride price, and $70 to $100 has been the going rate. Now, in some markets, agents for emigres have bid up the price for an unspoiled adolescent to an unprecedented $7,000-a sum that can be recouped easily if the woman produces babies. Locals are furious, and the multiple wives are not happy either. They are reportedly illiterate, do not speak French, hate their co-wives, and frequently try to poison each other with magic philters.

American Justice

Ernesto Mota was recently arrested for drunken driving in the Oak Forest suburb of Chicago. After police took him to the station they found that he had a lot of cocaine in his pocket. Mr. Mota tried to destroy the evidence by eating it and managed to consume a fair amount before police could stop him. He later went into convulsions and the police called the town’s medics, who barely saved his life.

Mr. Mota is an illegal alien from Mexico, who has been arrested for armed robbery, kidnapping, drunken driving, and drug peddling. Ever since his cocaine lunch, he says, he has not been quite right. He claims that his vision is poor and that his brain has been damaged. A lawyer has agreed to represent him in a $7 million claim against the town for not calling the medics quickly enough.

Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes?

The job of the U.S. Merit System Protection Board is to ensure that federal employment follows a strict merit system. According to a new policy, any manager will henceforth be evaluated according to whether he “Promotes, values and demonstrates respect for diversity in the workplace.”

The guidelines do not explain how promotion of diversity is to be squared with the merit system.

Nice Neighbors

Mexico constantly complains about any attempt to restrict free immigration to the United States, but how does it treat Americans? To stay in Mexico for more than 72 hours, an American requires a “visitor renter’s permit,” which requires a formal letter written in Spanish, six passport photos, and a valid passport. All communications with the government must -be in Spanish.

A single person who wants to live in Mexico must prove he has an income of $1,000 a month; married couples must make $1,500 a month. Applicants must also have a Mexican bank account with about $1,500 in it and the account is checked every year. On top of this, Americans must pay the government $71 every year to keep their residency privileges, which do not include the right to work, attend university, or own property. A work permit requires yet more application procedures — all in Spanish, of course — and permission is usually granted only if no Mexican national can be found who can do the job.

No More All-American

The ABC television network has hired Mary Lyn Henry to cast more non-whites for its four soap operas, “All My Children,” “General Hospital,” “Loving,” and “One Life to Live.” “We’re looking to fill a lot of roles with Armenians, Israelis, Hawaiians, Jamaicans,” she explains. “You can’t think ‘all-American’ anymore. I love exotic-looking people. I love to see their origins. I love these mixes.”

Conundrums of our Era

When is a non-white not a minority? Is an immigrant from Nigeria or the Dominican Republic entitled to the race-based privileges of affirmative action? Stanford University has cleared its throat uncomfortably and decided that they are not. Henceforth, foreign-born nonwhite faculty members will not be counted when the university hands out financial rewards for affirmative action.

According to the old policy, any time a department hired a black, American Indian, Puerto Rican, or Mexican, it got a bounty of $35,000 or so (Asian scalps were worth nothing because Stanford has no trouble finding smart Asians). It did not matter if the protected minorities were immigrants, and slightly more than half of the school’s minority teachers were born outside the United States.

Now Stanford has decided that foreigners aren’t quite the role models they had in mind. Kathryn Gillam, assistant provost for faculty affairs, explains that “we do value diversity . . . [but] having somebody who’s born in Zaire doesn’t help them [students] if they were brought up in Chicago.” Now, only if a department hires an American-born protected minority will it get the swag. “Outrageous,” “nativist,” and “blatantly unlawful,” say the immigrant advocates. As usual, there has not been a peep out of the whites (and Asians) who suffer under the policy.

Frank Morris, president of the Council for Historically Black Graduate Schools, should be pleased with Stanford. He has been yelling for the opposite reason: Private employers can report immigrant non-whites to the EEOC as affirmative action successes. “I think it’s an outrage,” he says; “In many cases, our foreign visitors . . . are not disadvantaged.” The poor bloody white man simply can’t get it right.

Chinese Eugenics

China is likely to approve a new eugenics law to reduce the number of “abnormal births.” The draft law would make marriage illegal for anyone with diseases like hepatitis, mental illness, or venereal disease that can be passed on to children. Pregnant women who have been diagnosed with certain hereditary diseases or whose fetuses have been found to be abnormal will be advised to have abortions. The government says that there are ten million “disabled” Chinese living today whose births could have been avoided.

Sore Losers

Every year Walker High School in Jasper, Alabama holds a beauty contest. Competition is keen and feelings run high, so the school chooses judges from outside the community. This year two whites and one black woman judged 33 white and seven black contestants. When the judges chose ten whites as semifinalists, black members of the audience raised a protest and walked out.

Later, Dwight Ingram, who represents 21 local black ministers, complained about the results: “If there had been a bunch of ugly women up there, I’d say OK, but these were the best our black community had to offer. At least two were as qualified as the ones picked to be finalists.” Rev. Ingram’s daughter was one of the contestants.