A Brown Woman with a White Man Brings out the Worst in Indians

Sukhada Tatke, Quartz, April 2, 2015

Elephant Beach on India’s Andaman Islands was not where I thought I would have to justify my life choices. Yet, there I was, feet dipped in clear water, staring into the horizon, trying to convince two middle-aged women whom I did not know that the man I was with was indeed my husband.

By the fourth day of our vacation on the islands, we had got used to being stared at. But when curious glances turned to quizzical looks, we began to realise that we were considered an oddity: A brown woman with a white man.

“Who is he?” one of the two women asked me as soon as my husband left my side. “My husband,” I replied after a while, snapping out of savouring my first-ever snorkelling session. She then asked me questions about our wedding and everything that had led to it. Then the other woman, who had remained silent until then, asked me for proof.

“Where is your mangal sutra? Where are your bangles?” Her tone reminded me of a teacher scolding an errant student in moral science class. I showed them the fading mehendi on my palms. Why did I do that? I later kicked myself for having misunderstood their questions as friendly banter.

When many Indians see one of their women with a man of a different race, they make assumptions, and offer unsolicited advice. An Indian woman who has got a white man must be enlightened, even by complete strangers. A lawyer whose services I was seeking for a few marriage-related formalities started by giving me a sermon on running a background check on the man I wanted to marry because “you never know how these firangs are.” I didn’t call on her again.


Probably every woman in India has one story about having been subject to lecherous looks as she has walked down the street. Now make her walk next to a white man. The male gaze turns more brazen by several orders of magnitude.


My friend Neha Belvalkar’s first visit to India after two years in a film school in the US was “appalling,” in her words. Chris, her American boyfriend, had accompanied her. One day when walking on a street in Pune, Neha’s hometown, a biker slowed down near the couple and almost hit her. She asked him to watch where he was going. She said she sensed a mix of repressed fury and lust in the man’s tone, when he hissed back: “I will f*** you.”

To many Indians, the idea of a mixed-race couple is alien, repulsive even. Nicholas Chevaillier, my friend Aarya’s French-American husband, has been asked more than once in India where and how he “picked up” the woman he was with. Her experiences in those two years in Mumbai before the couple moved to Los Angeles forever clouded the way Aarya thought of the city in which she had grown up.


At play here is the stereotype that men from the West are interested in women mainly for sexual gratification. By extension, the Indian women they are with must be promiscuous. Then there is patriarchy: Women who venture out of the nest to seek a mate must lack decency. And there’s the drive towards conformity: The ugly head that raises itself at the sight of anything that dares to deviate from the norm.


Mixed-race couples often have to deal with scepticism about their relationship masquerading as concern about cultural differences. When Aarya decided to tie the knot with Nicholas in 2010, she often got lectured about the sanctity of marriage and how it should be preserved.

Such attitudes towards mixed-race couples are just another expression of the intolerance that won’t countenance Hindu women marrying Muslim men. And a mixed-race couple in which one person is black often brings out the worst kind of racism.


When I decided to marry a Frenchman, my family’s concern was the normal one that parents have about whether their children have made the right decision; my partner’s nationality played only a minor role. So when a neighbour took it upon herself to tell my mother that I was being an irresponsible daughter by marrying outside my “caste” and moving abroad, it upset me at many levels. I wondered whether she would have felt as much concern over my being so far away from my mother had I married an Indian.


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  • Peter L. Giamatti

    I dont know why either spouse would want that burden their whole lives. Imagine “gettin’ some strange” … for life.

    • Getting used full-time to a spouse’s peculiarities is always going to require an adjustment of some sort. My wife thinks I am horrible at being organized (so does everyone else). As it turns out, with a nearly photographic memory, I never really needed to be organized. I make decorative wooden storage boxes for things that belong together, because I like being organized and because this keeps her happy. I mainly use scrap plywood, sanded down and with the cracks filled with wood glue and then sanded again before being covered with cloth. A lot of my tool boxes were originally Chi-com ammo crates I rebuilt with compartments and lift-out trays.

      The current projects on my bucket list are more tool boxes. I actually have a steel bucket with 3 X 5 cards in it, good workshop dimensions on each. When I get bored, I pull a card out and start work. The bucket is (slowly) getting empty.

      Sayaka thinks the fact that I collect skulls is a bit odd, but a white woman would as well. Ain’t no thang. We have a nice, complete fossil velociraptor skull on the mantlepiece. I can only write in a very fast, almost-cursive print, which is at least easy to read, but she calls this “neither fish nor fowl”. I used this in lab notebooks, and it stuck. I can not imagine being with someone else.

      Intelligent people tend to be a bit peculiar, so everyone is “strange” to some extent.

  • Chip Carver

    The Indians are acting naturally. I don’t see the problem.

    • Publius Pompilius Quietus

      History’s most successful societies have been patriarchal and xenophobic. Indeed, we don’t know of any others in antiquity but such kinds because they simply disappeared. Altruistic and emasculated societies lose their vigor and are displaced by ethnic foreigners.

      • daddio

        Like what is happening to us right now.

  • Bossman

    Most Indian women would like to marry men who look Iranian that is what an Austrian who had married an Indian woman told me.

    • Publius Pompilius Quietus

      Thank you for the anecdote that over-generalizes more than a billion people.

      • Bossman

        Why don’t you watch a few Indian movies. Everybody in those movies is fair skinned and can pass for Iranians.

        • LexiconD1

          I have watched Indian Bollywood films, and I’ve seen where most are okay with them marrying whites, but not marrying blacks.

          My friend from nursing school feels the same way.

    • Xerxes22

      Iranians look a lot like Brahmins (light skin high caste Hindus). So that would be marrying up in Indian society. In India the lighter the skin, the higher the caste. A Brahmin would be a trophy husband.

      • Bossman

        I believe you to be correct. The so-called untouchables are usually black in skin complexion and are of the lowest caste.

        • Charles Martel

          The IQ goes down with caste that’s why people think India has such potential when they know someone from the highest/smallest caste they don’t realize that most of India is basically black & Hispanic level IQ

          • Alden

            Average IQ in India is 80

          • Simonitz Levi Rothstein

            I wouldn’t put too much stock in IQ estimates. According to the folks ( Lynn et al) South Africa ( when it was under majority Boer rule in the 80’s and early 90’s, when Lynn & Tatu set about composing IQ & the Wealth of Nations!) & Israel have IQ’s much lower than India.

          • Charles Martel

            The top and smallest cast is smartest, kind of like giving the avg IQ of a high school that is 10% Asian & 20% white.

          • Lygeia

            85 is retarded.

        • Speedy Steve

          The Jarawa tribe on the Andaman Islands flat out look Afro.
          www youtube com/watch?v=b_R38UwtDVg

        • They’re all dalits where I’m concerned.

          • bv

            Japan has Burakumin also.

  • superlloyd

    To marry someone of one’s own race used to be the norm and marrying out was looked down on in most cultures. Now, it’s celebrated as diversity in the West and the norm is either ignored or pilloried especially in White countries but not so in healthy, non libtarded Asian cultures.

    • Magician

      The diversity-supporters mostly celebrate black male – white female unions. It does not encourage or celebrate any other type of interracial unions.

      And ironically, white males go for non-white women a lot more frequently than white women do in the real world.

      Me – A very proud daddy of two white princesses!

      • ElComadreja

        Non-white maybe but not negroid.

  • Luca

    But yet they love their light-skinned Bollywood movie stars. Just like the Latin Americans, for the most part, their movie stars, business professionals, celebrities, beauty queens and sports stars are mostly light skinned and display more Caucasian features. They secretly love and envy that euro-type DNA.

    • Simonitz Levi Rothstein

      Nonsense! If that was the case, why would they (Indians) look down and even frown upon seeing an Indian woman with a white European man? It is true that Indians prefer light skin, but they prefer the more middle eastern/ Persian type olive complexion NOT the pale Nordic white complexion prevalent amongst Europeans. In India the favored complexion is NOT white, neither is it black. It is brown, a wheatish Olive complexioned tone of brown. The ultimate desired look for an Indian would be to have a wheatish-olive brown skin tone, kinda like come of the Cubans, Arabs and Iranians!

      Had this Indian woman’s husband been a Persian ( Non Muslim, perhaps a Parsi Zoroastrian), Jewish or a Latino American ( Non Mestizo) : the husband would have been prized. But Blondes and red head type pale white skinned Europeans fail the Indian look test. Bollywood does use Negro and Northern Europeans in their movies, but NEVER as the main cast, they are relegated as cheap extras in dances or as goons in fight sequences.

      • Luca

        Oy Vey! It’s called ‘hypocrisy’. Look it up.

        • Simonitz Levi Rothstein

          Mama Mia! Its called “knowledge”. Look it up.

          • bv

            Who are you the Hebrew know it all? Or are you blessing us with your gift to the world Tikkun Olam?

      • Reynardine

        Don’t kid yourself, Indians have a strong preference for white, fair skin. The
        “wheatish Olive” complexion isn’t as prized as you think it is.

  • corvinus

    I suppose this attitude is inevitable given how India kills or aborts over a tenth of its female babies, leaving India a colossal “sausage-fest”.

  • guest

    “To many Indians, the idea of a mixed-race couple is alien, repulsive even.”

    Something the diversity-loving anti-White liberals refuse to believe – nonwhites are also against race-mixing. They hate diversity and multiculturalism just as much as most White people do and the liberals who preach about “racial togetherness and harmony” and how “there’s only one race – the human race” are not impressing nonwhites at all. If anything, nonwhites see those liberal diversity zealots the same way we Whites see them – idiotic and brain-dead morons with no sense of reality.

    • pcmustgo

      What would a half Mexican (Amer-Ind), half East Indian look like? Never seen that couple.

    • Caucasoid88

      Minorities hate diversity and miscegenation more* than white people, in general.

  • Kenner

    Indian actress Mindy Kaling is in a Nationwide Insurance commercial where she complains she’s ‘invisible’. She bumps into a startled white guy on a basketball court, asks if he can see her, and then says he should be pleased that an ‘attractive woman’ touched his body.
    It’s a sorry combo of anti-white resentment and feminism. She feels she’s entitled to sexual attention from white men.
    Perhaps some progressive legislation might help?

    • El Baga Doucha Libtard

      I’m glad that someone else noticed that commercial too. She’s not at all attractive.

      • bv

        She’s hideous.

    • Simonitz Levi Rothstein

      This must be very hard for this delusional Mindy Kaling. But in her ancestral homeland: India, she would NEVER get a role as a leading actress, be it in Bollywood ( the world’s largest movie industry) or even a TV serial. My time spent in India, when my wife and I used to vacation from Israel taught me a few things, Mss Kaling could learn.

      1. Stop complaining Mindy! Thank your stars that Hollywood still has a place for you and that you actually star in a leading role in a Medical TV drama sitcom! This would NEVER EVER happen in India where the standards for qualifying as a TV/ movie actress or a model seem to be much higher! Indian models and actresses are gorgeous, some of the best!

      2. If you are unhappy with Hollywood despite all the goodies you get here, SHUT UP and leave. But beware darling, India has NO place for you! Your unattractive visage and overweight look is not something most Indians would find appealing anyway!

      • Anon Wyatt

        Not to be petty but she’s a bit chunky in the same way as Lena Dunham; two women who could easily be closer to a 7 or 8 if they just lost about 20-25 pounds.
        Also, if you see Kaling in passing, she looks AA.

        • Simonitz Levi Rothstein

          Kaling looks black ( Schwarza type/ Negro). I’m assuming she is a dalit ( lower caste) Dravidic type. From what I have learnt, Dravidians have a very high IQ especially the Tamils. And they are very dark skinned. Tamils top the IQ scores in India and they account for most of the top scientists, technocrats and medical doctors too. Whereas the Indo-Aryan light skinned Northern Indians tend to be either illiterate farmers or merchants.

          • Reynardine

            She isn’t a dalit. Chokalingam has a Tamil Brahmin father and a Bengali mother.

            The Tamils don’t have the top IQ scores in India. Brahmins do.

            Besides, you wrote: “I wouldn’t put too much stock in IQ estimates. According to the folks (
            Lynn et al) South Africa ( when it was under majority Boer rule in the
            80’s and early 90’s, when Lynn & Tatu set about composing IQ &
            the Wealth of Nations!) & Israel have IQ’s much lower than India.”

        • bv

          Are you kidding??

          • Anon Wyatt

            It’s just that both are them are fat because women have been given a pass on this for the past 10-20 years. It’s the TarBucks ‘Frappa-Crappa’ drinks and Chipotle diets, and the other assorted food choices to many “modern” women under 35 are making. With a minimum of 3 days a week raising the heart rate and having some fruits and veggies, there’s potential.

          • Lygeia

            Lena Dunham comes from an elite, connected family, so the usual rules do not apply. Like how Kim Kardashian can be 5’2″ with gigantic hips and be a model. Everyone else has to be 6’2″ and weight 130 pounds to have these types of careers.

      • Kenner

        Welcome to Amren, btw!

        • Reynardine

          Fire up the soap maker!

    • Jason Lewis

      Holy cow I thought the same thing…she’s not attractive.

  • White males who chase Hindu females must be really desperate losers. These are remarkably physically unattractive women. On some of the porn sites that feature the Hindu woman, the sight of them can really be of the “what has been seen cannot be unseen” variety. I have zero respect for any white man who pairs off with Hindus, blacks, or Muslims, all just repulsive, hairy, masculine, and downright ugly as mud.

    • kenfrombayside

      You took the words right out of mouth. With only one exception, all Hindu woman are repulsive and don’t arouse any sexual desire.

    • Rhialto

      Some Sikh women are attractive, but not attractive enough to risk a knife fight with a Sikh man.

    • Albert

      Wow. You make them sound as repulsive as aborigines.

  • rob

    White men go for Injun women like black men go for white women. I don’t blame the Injuns(Peejay in Frisco)

  • Sick of it

    I wonder how they would feel about a white westerner marrying a Brahmin woman.

  • LHathaway

    Racism and intolerance are running rampant in India, are they? She shouldn’t worry, in 100 years or so men in India likely won’t even be able to talk. They’ll be limited to making grunting noises to each other as the only avenue available for communication.

  • Caucasoid88

    When I see a white woman with a black man, I honestly don’t get mad. It’s disgusting, sure. But I only ponder how much of a dunderhead the woman is for destroying her bloodline, and I see progress in culling the herd from morons.

    • phillyguy

      Or the beautiful blonde who marries a Negro sports star.

      • Magician

        Yes there are a few black athletes who marry non-black women but majority of African American athletes date and marry black women.

        NBA athletes make more money than MLB athletes and NHL athletes do on average, likely because there are simply fewer players on each team.

        90% of black NBA athletes are with African American women, and among the remaining 10%, half the remaining 10% are with Asian or Hispanic women.

        LeBron James – married to his highschool sweetheart and she is black
        Rudy Gay – 10th highest player in all of NBA and is married to a black woman
        Dwyane Wade – married to a black woman
        Amar’e Stoudamire – highest paid New York Knicks player and is married to a black woman
        Chris Bosh – not legally married but has a child with a black woman
        Steve Curry – MVP candidate this year – is also married to a black woman
        Kevin Garnett – made $315M over his career – and married to a black woman

        But I also acknowledge that many of NBA wives and girlfriends tend to have white women’s features such as lighter skin.

        • LHathaway

          “But I also acknowledge that many of NBA wives and girlfriends tend to have white women’s features such as lighter skin”.

          Especially the one’s who are actually White. They are especially likely to have lighter skin.

      • bv

        It’s the resulting spawn of anti white mulattos that I take most offense at.

    • Magician

      Heidi Klum had a white daughter before her marriage with Seal

  • RaySist27

    Racially healthy men should feel disgusted at the sight of their women being with a man of a different race. White men should be especially disgusted because we have the most beautiful women and the best DNA.

    • Albert

      All the races have a mutual dislike miscegenation yet we are the only race that is made to feel ashamed for feeling that way.

    • Magician

      I see white men going for nonwhite women three to four times more than white women going for nonwhite men

      • Anon Wyatt

        I don’t want to start a row, but I believe that Viking Bitch, Aryan Street, or Orwell’s Daughter pointed this out: A majority of these mystery meat hybrid would NOT, and I repeat, WOULD NOT, exist if White men had not been creating them across the globe via conquests.

        There’s nothing unnatural about men being away from their native women and engaging in relations outside of their traditional folk historically, when one considers world history pre-airplanes and pre-latex condoms or the pill.

        Across much of the Race Realist/White Nationalist movement, there is no shortage of condemnation of coalburners and mudsharks that, while normal and understood, fails to recognize that much of this WW/Non-White male mixing is, at most, a product of 50-100 years of social and cultural programming.

        This is similar to the WM/AW (east, southeast, etc..) that has become more and more predominant during America’s post WW2 presence in/near Asia in places like Korea, Japan, Vietnam, and China. I imagine you’d be hard pressed to find White men married to and having children with Asian women in large, noticeable numbers prior to 1900 outside of (maybe) California and along the west coast.

        White Men have been at it much longer than White Women, though in a gender and socio-historical context, it is expected and normal. White men, up until the last 100 years, were also engaging in miscegenation before the Television, the motion picture, and the general ‘pop culture’ that doesn’t really get up and running until the 1950’s in the West.

        White Women, and I am not “caping” or “white-knighting” at all here, only began to do this in visible earnest after a grand marketing blitz that began in the 60’s and continues to this day. And couple that with the diminished influence of White Males at the helm in the home, local community and government, it was more than inevitable if not outright planned to happen.

        When White Men say ‘Enough!” to you know who, the women will follow. If White babies are important, then you, White Man or Woman, best get to it.
        Tick Tock…..

      • LHathaway

        Where do you live, Magician. Surely you must live in Seattle . . .

  • Kenner

    It is bizarre. I think some genius thinks it’s about ’empowering’ ‘women of color’. It actually humiliates them.

  • George Costanza

    Any White person who miscegenates with a non White person will produce an non White off spring.

    • bv

      I know a few people that mated with Indians and all the kids came out eerily looking fully white.

      • Jason Lewis

        If you look and act white you’re white.

      • Rob

        Some Indinas are the bootm of the caucasian ladder.

    • Regressing your argument to its natural conclusion, I am non-white, due to Amerind admixture.

      • Hilis Hatki

        Skin,hair,eyes Iam as white as one can get. Eerily, I look like Harold II Godwinson looks on his coin, yet my sister looks like she just walked off the Rez. My dad had 9 brothers and sisters who covered the entire spectrum , from a white hair boy called Cotton from the day he was born, to a brother called Wop because he looked Italian. My grandmother picked cotton by hand in Alabama and gave birth to 10 kids, 3 in her forties. As far back as the early 1960s,until she died in 1989, she was saying how one day people would have computers in their houses and we would create “unreal” worlds and would have a cashless economy. Diversity at the edges of a white world use to be good now we are swamped and it will be a disaster. I have Creek ancestors and a majority of European ancestors. From men named after Andrew Jackson who fought in the Civil War to the Goodwin kids of the Salem Witch trials and for a long time Ive not felt like an American.

        • You are an “American” in the normal sense. Unfortunately we’ve got to ride this ride until it’s done, like getting onto a roller-coaster. I self-identify as mainly Celtic. We’re not walking back to Siberia (the swim across the Bering Straight would be miserable) or sailing back to Europe anytime soon. Some of my injun friends in federal prison said that if you don’t speak your language, you’re not really an injun. Norman was Navajo, and quite likely a pureblood – he could easily pass for Mongolian or north plains Chinese, but Joe (Apache) clearly was not.

          I regard myself as quite “American”: Irish, Scottish, Welsh, German, Cherokee and Tuscarora. There’s no place else for someone like me, and since I completely love Colorado, it is a perfect match.

      • George Costanza

        “I can understand why humans occasionally do this”

        It’s called lust.

  • Americaandthewestshouldbewhite

    Some Indians think that they are ‘People of color’ and support black, muslims and other causes. However, when it comes to marrying out of their race, they immediately jump for a white guy or girl. No knee grows, negresses, Latinos, and other asians. Only whites.

    • bv

      They want that Aryan seed.

  • Singingbird1

    Do they have Racist laws in India? Do they have diversity brainwashing?

  • bv

    Deep down inside they know that we (Whites) are the true Aryan inheritors that they seek. They know we’re BETTER than they are and the mix of envy and jealousy drives them crazy.

    I’ve only experienced good times when I’ve travelled in India and real respect from the local folk. Maybe these are isolated incidents played up for lefty crappy journalists.

    • Simonitz Levi Rothstein

      Thats rather silly considering that Nordics and Aryans are not the same despite the pseudo scientific mumbo jumbo from the National Socialists of Post Weimar Germany. Aryans are an Indo-European tribe from the Ural mountains who settled in Persia and India. Nordics on the other hand are natives of central Europe who intermingled with Neanderthals!

      • Reynardine

        Prepare to be gassed by my superior knowledge of Aryans.

        The origin of the Aryans places them in the Caucuses, the origin of every other white race. Linguistic and archaeological evidence supports this theory.

        The Urals aren’t too far from the Caucuses anyway.

        Neanderthal intermingling occurred far earlier in European history than the expansion of the Aryan peoples and does not preclude the latter event. Indo-Aryan culture can be seen throughout the entire ancient world, including Egypt, Anatolia, India, Persia, Greece and elsewhere.

  • Speedy Steve

    That is just awful.

  • Speedy Steve

    I don’t regret getting rid of TV.

  • Jason Lewis

    Tim Wise, your services are needed in India. They don’t see the excellent benefits of multiculturalism.

  • 4321realist

    The whole world dislikes race-mixing. They also prefer their own kind socially and at the work place and school. But, basically, there is no race, generally, that would agree to the intrusions that have been placed on white people.

    Yet it is whites who are targeted as “intolerant” for not accepting the same things every other race regards as unfavorable to themselves, their people and way of life.

    And it is only whites who have a sizeable faction of people who are so foolish they can be made to think their own extinction is a good thing and that they should be proud of themselves for thinking that way.

    They somewhat represent a picture of a toothless idiot grinning as he is going down with the ship after being told he’s on a submarine.

  • 李冠毅

    I see you haven’t been paying attention to diversity in Asia. A few years ago, a South Korean police officer was reprimanded for racism.

  • Hank Richter

    It’s funny how these “progressives” are shocked by this. It’s because they’ve been brainwashed their whole lives that every other race is pleased as punch to see their children marry someone who is another race and it’s only white people could possibly be so “intolerant”.

  • Peter L. Giamatti

    Plus I think it is just bad inter-cultural relations for we whites to take anybody else’s women. The Indian men have a right to be pissed at us.

    • Guest

      Seems like the Indians are even more reasonable. They understand why White men would take their women (nobody looks at a gift horse in the mouth) given the opportunity; this they direct their anger at indian women instead.