Broomstick-Flying Witches to Be Brought Down in Swaziland

Times Live, May 13, 2013

Witches flying broomsticks in Swaziland above 150 metres will be subject to arrest and a hefty fine of R500 000, civil aviation authorities said, according to a report.

Witches’ broomsticks are considered similar to any heavier-than-air transportation device that is airborne, reports The Star.

“A witch on a broomstick should not fly above the [150-metre] limit,” Civil Aviation Authority marketing and corporate affairs director Sabelo Dlamini told the newspaper.

No penalties exist for witches flying below 150 metres.

The report said it was hard to say how serious he was, but witchcraft isn’t a joking matter in Swaziland, where the people believe in it.

The statute also forbids toy helicopters and children’s kites from ascending too high into the country’s airspace.

Dlamini was asked by the Swazi press to explain the country’s aviation laws following the arrest of a private detective, Hunter Shongwe, for operating a toy helicopter equipped with a video camera, of which he boasted using to gather surveillance information similar to the way a drone aircraft operates.

The detective was charged with operating an unregistered aircraft and for failing to appear before his chief to be questioned by traditional authorities about his toy drone, the first of its kind in Swaziland.

Swazi brooms are short bundles of sticks tied together and do not have handles. Swazi witches are known to use them to fling potions about homesteads – but not for transport.

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  • Bill

    Riiiiiigggghhhhhhhtttttt. Witches on broomsticks. If bantus could devise such a propulsion system, we would have been on mars by now and wouldn’t need our super highways to drive an hour to get to work (which we do to get AWAY from the Bantus). But instead, we had to halt the space program so we could import MORE bantus, and provide bigger handouts to the bantus, who can’t seem to find a job, or stop killing each other, let alone FLY.

    • IstvanIN

      Flying to Mars on a broomstick isn’t possible because broom do not have enclosed cabins.

      • The__Bobster

        I don’t know how Harry Potter does it, but it looks damn uncomfortable to me.

        • IstvanIN

          Harry Potter isn’t real!

          • Nathanwartooth

            How dare you!

            Season 4 Episode 3 of American Dad has all of the answers.

            Lavate las monos!

      • Bill

        I was talking about propulsion systems. We don’t fly in airplanes made of canvas, wood and wire anymore either. Ya know? Wright brother’s plane or the latest Raptor don’t get off the ground without a propulsion system.
        Hello?

        • IstvanIN

          But broomsticks don’t need propellers or jet engines.

          • They’re also greenhouse gas-neutral. No expensive CO2-producing jet-fuel. Al Gore should be up in arms about this new law.

            I’d think the propulsion system of the flying broomstick would be the “juju” energy of the witch herself. From a legal standpoint this raises an important question, however: where does this energy come from? If human sacrifice is involved in replenishing it, stricter probibitions on flying witches need to be imposed.

          • jimh19

            Broomsticks are green.

    • OlderWoman

      Funny. I just read on a black web site that Kermit Gosnel SNIFFED the spines of babies.

      Blacks never cease to amaze me.

      • OlderWoman

        http://soulsofblackwomen.com/#.UZSpcau6DZA.blogger

        Scroll down to read that Kermit Gosnell SNIFFED the spines of babies.

        • Brian

          Probably written by a black. One thing that never ceases to amaze me about them is their utter ineptitude with the written word. You can take a black pHD and look at her writing and think it as written by a 10 year old. Never fails.

          • OlderWoman

            I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…blacks are the DUMBEST people on the face of the earth. I spent about an hour on three of their websites. One especially was about their gospel music and their churches and pastors who rape, get drunk, commit adultery and have multiple babies with multiple wives and all the articles call on “Jesus” to heal them from their sins and yet they continue to make excuses for their behavior.

            BLACKS AREN’T CHRISTIANS. They’re heathens to the core.

        • Luis

          OW, I came up with a new word, the other day, for immediate use in the English language:

          gosnell – (1.) a botched abortion (after Kermit Gosnell, a convicted Philadelphia abortionist) (2.) any botched medical or surgical procedure

          Example – “Kourtney Kardashian’s unplanned pregnancy resulted in a gosnell”.

          • jimh19

            Or, if you are ticked at someone, say to him “may you be gosnelled” or “gosnell you”.

    • John

      According to genetic research, supported by empirical DNA evidence, Negroids are positioned somewhere between Caucasoids and chimpanzees on the evolutionary scale, which explains a lot. I’m not joking at all. I’m completely serious.

      The egalitarians routinely espouse that Caucasoids and Negroids only differ by 0.5% DNA. Well, the truth is that chimpanzees only differ from homo sapiens sapiens (humans) by just a little more; ~1.5% DNA. Other genetic studies have shown that Negroids are much more closely related to chimpanzees than Caucasoids. It’s an established fact based on empirical evidence. Like I mentioned earlier, it’s a fact that explains a lot.

      A few years ago, Pluto was stripped of its status as a planet. In time, will Negroids be stripped of their status as homo sapiens sapiens? Doing so would correct many wrongs.

      Please bear in mind that I am certainly not suggesting that Negroids be treated like animals. I personally believe that all living creatures should be treated with dignity and respect and subjected to abuse of any kind, but truthfully, they should be with their own kind, and we should be with our own kind. This social experiment has gone on for far too long, spanning far too many decades. This charade MUST end.

      • John

        error: I intended to write: …”not subjected to abuse of any kind…”

        • jimh19

          So the Office of Civil Rights will eventually become the responsibility of PETA. I like it!

      • IstvanIN

        I agree wholeheartedly except for one point, we are the one’s being subject to abuse.

      • Rhialto

        This is not true. Negroids are humanoids who have adapted, physically and behaviorly, to the tropical African environment. In fact, until modern technology was available (20th century), only Africans could thrive in tropical Africa. Like all organisms they have their strengths and weaknesses. The question is how successful are Negroids in a given environment.

        Unless I’m much mistaken Negroids doing quite well in feminized and liberalized high tech environments, like America.

        • robinbishop34

          “Negroids are doing quite well in feminized and liberalized high tech environments, like America”

          They’re doing quite well? Do tell.

        • Nathanwartooth

          “In fact, until modern technology was available (20th century), only Africans could thrive in tropical Africa”

          So Caucasians and Asians could survive freezing temperatures, harsh weather, preparing food for the future and just an overall harsh environment but would die in warm plentiful Africa?

          No. While Africans could not survive in the cold extremes, the other races could have easily survived in Africa. That is like saying that one group can figure out 2 + 2 = 4 while the other group can do calculus. So therefore the group that can do calculus cannot do 2 + 2 = 4. One environment is much easier to survive in than the other.

          “Unless I’m much mistaken Negroids are doing quite well in feminized and liberalized high tech environments, like America.”

          Compared to Africa, yes they are. But not nearly as well as any other racial group.

          Take a city that is heavily occupied and run by Blacks like Detroit and you start to see why Africa is the way it is.

          If you just watched TV, you would be apt to believe that Blacks are doing quite well. Since on TV they are all computer programmers, doctors, lawyers and are hardly ever murderers and rapists.

          But when you look at the statistics, even Hispanics are blowing them away in just about every stat you can measure.

    • Erasmus

      Out of Africa.

      Next!

  • PlumberofNazareth

    Oh, Africa. Don’t you ever change.

    • Unperson

      Don’t worry, they won’t. If there’s one prediction we can make with certainty, it’s that Africa will ALWAYS be like this.

  • Witches flying broomsticks in Swaziland above 150 metres will be subject to arrest and a hefty fine of R500 000, civil aviation authorities said, according to a report.
    .
    $53,649
    .
    “A witch on a broomstick should not fly above the [150-metre] limit,” Civil Aviation Authority marketing and corporate affairs director Sabelo Dlamini told the newspaper.
    .
    A Harvard grad by chance. The guy is a clown. People like this are why African countries revert to sh*tholes immediately after they chase the white ‘debils’ out.
    .
    Swazi brooms are short bundles of sticks tied together and do not have handles. Swazi witches are known to use them to fling potions about homesteads – but not for transport.
    .
    The rich history of civilization and culture, and their brooms are bundles of sticks? They can’t even develop a decent broom …..

  • Robert Binion

    Swazi witch n. 1. Bantu in the sky without diamonds. 2. A besom buddy.

    • MikeS

      Swazi witch n. 1. A bantu who, after jumping off of a tall structure in order to demonstrate his ability to fly to a large crowd of other bantus gathered below, suddenly discovers that gravity hurts. 2. A “good” bantu (see def n. 1)

    • Bantu in the sky without diamonds.
      .
      You just cracked me up. I’ll smile everytime I hear that song.

  • Michael Mason

    LOL

  • MikeS

    It’s a shame that “people” like this still exist on this planet.

  • crystalevans

    I never knew that witches actually flew on brooms. I thought it was just fiction.

    • whitecross

      Witches “fly” on shrooms,not brooms.

      • robinbishop34

        lol

      • convairXF92

        Actually, sort of both. European female witches concocted ointment from jimson weed, wine, and lard. Jimson weed makes one hallucinate that one is flying (cf. Carlos Castaneda’s first book, or physician Bertrand Roueche’s *Medical Detectives* which describes a “flying” family, high on tomatoes grown on jimson rootstock).

        The ointment was rubbed on the genital area, apparently producing a feeling akin to holding a broomstick there, in addition to the “flying” effect on the brain.

  • professor

    Wow! I didn’t realize my ex-wife had moved there.

  • IstvanIN

    I actually agree with this. You don’t want witches interfering with commercial flights.

    • jimh19

      The government wants to sweep the skies clean of witches on broomsticks……get it, “sweep”. Never mind.

  • Kathy M

    My understanding is that many of Mr Obama’s close relatives are into this sort of thing. African voodoo, witch doctors, and so on.

    • We’ll all be getting treated by witch doctors soon with ObamaCare and programs created to increase the number of (unqualified) black doctors.

  • a multiracial individual

    White people, with white brains believed this a few centuries ago.

    • The__Bobster

      In Salem, they learned it from a Bantu named Tituba.

    • APaige

      Yes centuries ago. And look how much white people have changed the world, while blacks…..do….nothing.

      • bigone4u

        Nothing constructive, you mean. Blacks do plenty that is destructive.

    • whitecross

      The difference is that white people yield to evidence, the only reason “African Americans” stopped believing in their primitive superstitions is that they were replaced with less primitive superstitions,i.e.,the white man’s superstitions.

    • Unperson

      Yeah, but we grew out of that kind of primitive thinking when we developed the scientific method and empiricism.

      The Afros will never grow out of it because they’re just not empirical thinkers. They have no history of using their brains in this way; and even now that they’ve been introduced to critical, scientific thinking (by us) they still don’t seem to be taking to it. They still believe not what the evidence indicates, but whatever the hell they want to believe. And in Swaziland, they apparently want to believe in witches. Just not in witches that can fly higher than 150 metres. I guess that would be stretching credibility too much even for a Swazi.

    • a multiracial individual

      I guess people are missing the point of my post. My point was that even populations with a higher IQ are prone to magical thinking. We laugh at other peoples’ superstition, but harbor our own.

      http://files.meetup.com/411954/Intelligence.pdf

      • indoctrination_FAIL

        Ludicrous comparison.

        And you are not “we”.

        • a multiracial individual

          Are you joking me? Supernatural belief is nonsense EVERYWHERE……and many high IQ groups still harbor it. There was nothing inaccurate in my claim. We=people living developed nations.

          • indoctrination_FAIL

            So you’re an atheist?

            Have you bravely, explicitly made your statement to followers of the Prophet? Please let us know when you do.

            BTW, “joking” is not a transitive verb.

  • The__Bobster

    The statute also forbids toy helicopters and children’s kites from ascending too high into the country’s airspace.
    __________

    Because the low-flying witches might run into them?

    • bigone4u

      Don’t make fun. Those broomsticks make up their Air Force. The witch pilots are commissioned officers at the rank of Airwitch First Class.

      • IstvanIN

        I do not believe the Royal Swazi Air Force is restricted to 150 meters, only the civilian witches.

        • The Swazi air force has a handful of (mostly elderly) transport aircraft. Swaziland Airlink, their commercial carrier operates with South African assistance and is banned from flying into or out of the European Union due to safety concerns. According to Wikipedia, they operate a pair of 37-passenger Embraer.

          Given the sort of airframe and powerplant maintenance one would expect from people who worry about flying witches, I suspect most of these machines are “hangar queens” that don’t do any flying at all, let alone over 150 meters.

  • dd121

    Did Obongo’s brother run for the enforcement job in Kenya?

  • bigone4u

    Remember the flying monkeys from the Wizard of Oz (the version with Judy Garland) who helped the Wicked Witch? Enough said.

  • jay11

    There’s only one solution here folks! We must accept thousands of witch refugees in Wisconsin and Maine! Someone call Catholic Charities now!

    • gemjunior

      No, we should inform the ones in swaziland that the only people who are immune to witchcraft are african-americans, who learned how to combat all evil during the time they were here fighting the evil white man. At the same time, evil whites who attempted to cast spells on them soon found that the evil spell would bounce off the invisible protective shield around them. They are the only people in the world who can successfully remove the witches from swaziland and its neighboring nations. Since they will not come of their own accord, the swaziland natives must come and insist they return or even kidnap them to bring them to their true home as the gods have always meant it to be to rid their brethren of witches. At least 20 million are needed, so perhaps they can be fetched home for Europe or Canada. It was meant to be, it was foretold in the old white legends that someday they wouldn’t have the black man to enrich them anymore. It will be a sacrifice for the whites but they must grin and bear it….

  • APaige

    I had to laugh…I thought it was from the Onion…I mean come on a black person inventing or correctly using a mode of transportation! Plus in Africa would they be called bitches?

  • PesachPatriot

    I think about 500 years ago there was a witch problem in germany…a large maximum security facility called the hexenhaus was built in Bamberg….it was built over a running river so witches could be dunked and the ruins still stand today….people everywhere, even in advanced first world societies still find something comforting in old superstitious beliefs in an era of crazy technological advancement, but only in africa does the legal system concern itself with witchcraft….In america, canada and the UK people who call themselves witches are regarded as eccentric, harmless cranks, not menaces to society.

  • Homo_Occidentalis

    I commend the Swazi people on their progressive and forward-thinking legislation. In the first-world hell-hole I inhabit, voodoo witches are free to crash into skyscrapers with impunity, and our corrupt white politicians are happy to maintain the status quo so long as they get their money-stuffed envelopes from the Sorceress Union come election time.

    • Nathanwartooth

      Voldimort for president!

  • JohnEngelman

    Witches flying broomsticks in Swaziland above 150 metres will be subject to arrest and a hefty fine of R500 000, civil aviation authorities said, according to a report.

    – Times Live, May 13, 2013

    I am glad they do not burn them at the stake.

    • IstvanIN

      True, it would only contribute to global warming.

      • Anthropogenic global warming is a hoax. Exhibit A is Al Gore’s huge SoCal mansion, which must be air-conditioned. The jury is still apparently out on whether witches are real.

    • If the witch is cruising at over 500 feet, how are the police going to arrest her?

    • gemjunior

      No not technicall “at the stake” but a tire with gasoline is also effective for burning witches or even for innocent people for that matter.

  • Howard W. Campbell

    I wonder if the Geico commercial with the witch flying around the broom factory will be banned from youtube in Swaziland?

    • Homo_Occidentalis

      If the three or four Swazis with PCs ever encounter it, that’s a definite yes.

    • That commercial was absolutely priceless.

  • SirKevin1231

    Are these the same witches that steal men’s penises and turn into goats at will?

    • IstvanIN

      That is Nigeria.

  • Unperson

    Swaziland, where every day is April 1.

    Limiting broom-class air travel to a maximum height of150 metres: this is what passes for aviation-safety regulations on the continent with the worst plane-crash record in the world.

    • IstvanIN

      Since, by international agreement, altitude is measured in feet, perhaps Swaziland’s use of meters in aviation is causing some problem between them and the rest of the world.

  • IKantunderstand

    Wow, you people on this website are such racists, I can’t believe it. Or wait, maybe you people on this website are just empirical scientists. You do realize though, that if these Negroes think that witchcraft exists, and that is what they believe in, and if they further think that eating the heart of the enemy gives them whatever, and if they feel compelled to kill a young child who might be a witch and if they think an Albino’s limbs being removed from their body does something or other, who the hell are you as a White to question it? What makes you think you are right as a White? Word to the wise, this is what they teach nowadays. Be prepared to answer. This is the kind of thinking we are up against.

    • TiredOfTheWhining

      I think you would see the majority of BLACKS would laugh at this. This is insane. And if you cannot find the humor in this, well, you must be the life of every party you go to.

      • robinbishop34

        He’s being sarcastic.

        • TiredOfTheWhining

          Yes, he is. So my apologies to the OP for misinterpreting the post.

    • Of course we’re racists. We are locked into a long-term contract with groups like the SPLC and NAACP. If we quit doing this, the who grievance industry might fall completely apart.

  • TiredOfTheWhining

    Isn’t this patent infringement? I thought Dorothy’s nemesis the Wicked Witch of the West has sole rights to brooming. And do they need a license?

  • Grond

    I think this is actually part of a witch trial extortion scheme. The only thing more profound than bantu stupidity is bantu corruption. An internet search with reveal a number of examples of witch craft extortion trials in different countries. They are probably laying the legal framework to extort villagers with specific charges and fines.

  • Luis

    I’m not concerned with Swaziland’s belief in witches on broomsticks. They’re supernatural Bantu beliefs.

    What worries me is American believing in zombies and vampires. Now THAT’s frightening. I’ll make book that more American college students believe in zombies than in Jesus Christ.

    • GeneticsareDestiny

      I don’t think very many (white) American college students believe in zombies or vampires. They like to read books and watch movies on the topics, and play games centered around them, but very few of them (in my experience) actually believe in any of it.

      Now astrology, that’s a different, disappointing story.

      • PesachPatriot

        This is a good point…I am personally a big fan of zombie and vampire movies and literature….I don’t hang garlic in my window to ward off vampires because I know they aren’t real….I’m also not terribly concerned about being devoured by zombies, even though there was that one face eating incident in miami last year.

    • NordicHeritage

      Correct me if I am wrong here but if one believes in Jesus is he or she not also a believer in zombies? I mean the main tenet of x-tianity is that Jesus died and came back to life just like a zombie.

      • saxonsun

        You’re right and thanks for saying it. Christianity is just so much crap too. Imagine a religion being built around something that can’t happen, a “virgin birth?!” Ridiculous, yet tons of people who think they’re completely reasonable swallow this nonsense down whole. Oh, and what about communion? The body and blood of Christ? Symbolic cannibalism is all it is. There’s literally no way we will ever get ahead if we continue to buy into this stuff.

      • The really creepy aspect isn’t ZombieJesus, but trans-substantiation, which converts the wine and wafer into the blood and body of Jesus. Zombies and cannibalism! Sounds like a “B” movie!

    • convairXF92

      The European belief in vampires is said to stem from a rabies epidemic in the 1600’s or 1700’s. Keep in mind that disease diagnosis then was vastly inferior to today’s, and even into the 20th century rabies was often misdiagnosed as polio or meningitis. Early symptoms of rabies in males may include priapism, extreme sex cravings, and repeating or even continuous ejaculation. Later symptoms include extreme sensitivity to light (e.g., daylight), wind (e.g., people’s breath) and odors (e.g. garlic). A small percentage of rabid humans exhibit “mad dog” behavior and try to bite other people.

      Additionally, there was a condition called porphyria where one’s body could not properly make hemoglobin; its iron-containing precursors hung around in the body as toxins, producing various mental symptoms including paranoia. The iron compounds also produced light-sensitive skin eruptions. One’s “iron-poor blood” could have triggered urges to consume iron-rich foods such as red meat and blood.

      (Just to say there was justifiable reason to believe in vampires back then….)

  • Byronio

    I find it hard to believe that there are actually commercial flights over Swaziland. By the way, isn’t Swaziland the same little country that threatened to develop it’s own space program so they could find out what white folks were doing on the moon?

  • Paleoconn

    You know what country is grossly underrepresented in the US immigration totals? Swaziland. We clearly do not have enough of this advanced people.

  • moonbase12

    You people a so stupid it’s amazing you aren’t an endangered species.

  • moonbase12

    Negro leaders. Laughing stock of the entire world. You sub humans will never evolve. You don’t even grasp how stupid you are. Your brains aren’t even fit for a reptile.