The Onion, Dec. 10, 2010
COMPTON, CA–In an effort to develop a more diverse base of athletic talent, raise the sport’s profile in nontraditional areas, and enrich the lives of troubled youth, thoroughbred-racing organizations are funding a new program to train inner-city and delinquent horses.
The initiative, known as Right Side of the Track, is opening 12 “Colts & Fillies Clubs” in impoverished urban locales across the country, and already has four operational centers in Detroit, Baltimore, Birmingham, and St. Louis. According to organizers, the facilities will provide at-risk yearlings and disadvantaged foals with free access to state-of-the-art running tracks, experienced trainers and jockeys, and, depending upon their behavior, sugar cubes.
Ed. Note: We’re aware that this article is satirical. We’ve posted it because it lampoons “urban uplift” programs.