Our Rulers Never Learn

They made the same mistakes in Afghanistan they make at home.

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On August 15, Kabul surrendered to the Taliban. Helicopters rushed Americans out of the embassy, just as they did from Saigon when it fell in 1975.

Twenty years of fighting in Afghanistan ended in a humiliation. There were countless mistakes, but the most basic one is this: Our rulers refuse to understand that human groups are different.

We gave the Vietnamese tons of weapons and lathered them with slogans about democracy, but we couldn’t turn them into Americans. Here are the Vietnamese we trained, surrendering to the Vietnamese they were supposed to kill. This time, it’s Afghans, in spooky facemasks handing over their fancy gear to guys in turbans and pajamas.

For 70 years, we have been making the same mistake right here in the United States. We keep thinking that with enough welfare and role models and encouragement, everyone in America will turn out the same. And the harder we try, the more we fail.

The Afghan version of the lesson our rulers will once again fail to learn left us with 2,500 dead Americans and 1,500 dead NATO allies – overwhelmingly white people, of course. You won’t find the Japanese or the Mexicans trying to turn other people into something they aren’t.

Here is a Marine explaining what it’s like to train Afghans. [[1:59 – 2:11]] The sound is bad on this one, but listen carefully. “Their mindset — while on patrol.” [[1:25 – 1:46]]

Here are our guys trying to teach them jumping jacks. [[0:13 – 0:29]] The US-trained Afghan National Police aren’t much good at them either. [[0:15 – 0:31]]

We had 20 years to teach Afghans how to fly and maintain helicopters, but it didn’t work. As soon as the white man left, the choppers stopped flying. The Talibani waltzed in and got them. Here are just a few of the Black Hawks we left behind. If there’s one piece of equipment you should be able to get out before the enemy gets it, it’s one that can take off straight up and fly away. The Taliban can’t fly these things either, but they don’t need to. They get around on motorcycles and pickups.

And if we can’t save helicopters, think how many Humvees and APCs and bombs and rifles we left behind.

Not to mention the American embassy, which we also left behind. This is just one part of a monster that cost $800 million. Do you know how many people worked here? Four thousand. All toiling day and night, trying to turn tribal, Muslim, low-IQ Afghans into Joe Biden Democrats. We lowered the flag and buggered off. I hope the Taliban turns the embassy into The Museum of American Arrogance and Stupidity.

Kandahar Air Base had about 26,000 people, and they all had to be kept happy. In 2010, people said it was just like Coney Island. What they called The Boardwalk was acres and acres of Burger Kings, Popeyes, Pizza Huts, Dairy Queen, cafes, basketball courts, and lady soldiers and lady contractors wearing bikinis, playing beach volley ball. For a while there was even a Thai massage parlor.

And Bagram Air Base. We spent hundreds of millions to make it a first-class airbase. It’s so big 40,000 people were living there, though most of them never went outside. Now these places belong to the Taliban. What are they going to do with the vet service? Muslims despise dogs.

These days, you have to understand that US diplomacy does not promote American interests. It promotes American “values.” Just two months ago, with the Taliban already taking over, our embassy in Kabul took a courageous stand: It wanted Afghans to know that June is Pride Month. I’m sure it’s been telling them that children should choose what sex they are, and that Afghans should be like us, sending women and transexuals into combat.

Anyone with a cell phone who can type the letters P-O-R-N will get an eyeful of the American way of life. Some Afghans don’t care for it.

I thought having colonies was supposed to be one of the worst things the white man ever did. How was what we were doing not colonialism?

Maybe that helps explain why our lavishly equipped, lovingly trained Afghan national army run like rabbits. I don’t think it was because the Taliban could do jumping jacks. The Afghan regime is so corrupt, there were reports that the soldiers ran out of food and ammunition. But my guess is it’s because they had nothing to die for. The guys in pajamas showed up and told the guys in uniforms – American uniforms, of course – “You can fight, or you can join us, or you can go home.” They joined up or went home.

Were they supposed to fight for a puppet government propped up – for 20 years – by infidel colonists?

Were they supposed to die for their President, Ashraf Ghani, who is a US citizen married to a Christian, whose children are US citizens and live in the United States? What kind of Afghan is that?

President Ghani and his VP got the jitters and buggered off – out of the country – when the Taliban showed up. So the commander in chief was a rabbit, too.

You don’t have to like the Taliban to respect their determination and staying power. And whatever you think of them, they are real Afghans, ready to die for Allah and to get the hated Americans off their backs. They clearly represent a lot of people. You might even call their victory a kind of consensus democracy on the battlefield.

But our rulers understood nothing. Just three days before Kabul collapsed, Forbes ran this: “Kabul Could Fall to the Taliban Within 90 days, U.S. Intelligence Warns.”

That was the same crack intelligence team that told us the Russians stole the 2016 election and that swore up and down that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. He didn’t, but that was the pretext for another insane war that cost us 4,500 killed – mostly white men again – and 32,000 wounded. We spent eight years trying to turn Iraqis into Jeffersonian republicans before we gave up. By then we had busted the place up so badly, ISIS could take over a big chunk of it.

And, as I said, we keep trying to turn people into what they aren’t right here at home. Here’s a headline: “Mark Zuckerberg once made a $100 million investment in a major US city to help fix its schools — now the mayor says the effort ‘parachuted’ in and failed.” Parachuted in and failed. Sound familiar? That was the miserable Newark School district, which was 90 percent black and Hispanic. And it was actually $200 million, because other donors kicked in another 100. The school district is still 90 percent black and Hispanic and it’s still miserable.

Do you remember the hilarious attempt to require – by law – all school districts in America to get students of all races to perform at the same high level? It was called No Child Left Behind, and here’s George Bush signing the legislation in 2002. I guess the idea was to turn everyone into Asians. Of course, it was a complete failure. In 2015, morons in Congress replaced it with a new law will turn turn José and Shaniqua into computer programmers. Believe it or not, it’s called the “Every Student Succeeds Act.”

I urge Congress to pass the “Afghanistan is Now a Democracy Act.” That will ease the pain of defeat.

Of course, now we are all in a moral panic because we left behind tens of thousands of Afghans who sold their souls to us. We have to save them from the Taliban and bring them here. We couldn’t turn Afghans into Americans in Afghanistan, so we’ll just try it here. The Swedes have been trying to turn Afghans into Swedes. Instead, they have the highest rape rate in Europe.

Meanwhile, Afghanistan is getting ready for changes. The Taliban like their women covered up. So, in Kabul, head-to-toe burkas are suddenly high fashion. One costs ten times more than it did last week. *You* may not like it, but if Afghans want to throw blue sheets over their women isn’t that their business? Maybe it cuts down on rape.

Anyway, when our soldiers finally come home, I have a different job for them: Stop the invasion of a quarter of a million people swarming across our Southern border every month! Isn’t the army supposed to stop invasions? But, no, they can’t do that, because everyone knows Guatemalans and Salvadorans will learn broken English and drink Coca Cola, and that will make them as American as you and I.

You see: Anyone can be anybody. Keep believing that, and pretty soon America will be nothing.