We Know How to Make America Strong

Let’s do it!

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You know that “Our diversity is our greatest strength,” right? Here are just a few of the people who say so.

But did you know our country got off to a really bad start? The Founders didn’t understand diversity. When the very first United States Congress met in 1789, it had to figure out who could be a citizen of this brand-new country, and boy, did they get it wrong. The very first citizenship law said that only “free white persons of good character” could become Americans. They just didn’t get it.

And it wasn’t just race. One of the founders, John Jay, had some really silly ideas in the Federalist Papers. He said America was strong because Americans were “ . . . a people descended from the same ancestors, speaking the same language, professing the same religion, attached to the same principles of government, very similar in their manners and customs.”

When he left public service, George Washington told Americans why the country was so promising. “With slight shades of difference, you have the same religion, manners, habits, and political principles.” He foolishly thought that people who have a lot in common work better together.

Americans used to think that George Washington was the greatest man in American history, but now we know that Martin Luther King was the greatest because he appreciated diversity. That’s why he is the only person – besides Jesus Christ – whose birthday is a national holiday. Washington’s birthday used to be a federal holiday, but since 1971, we celebrate Presidents Day.

We didn’t fully understand the importance of diversity until 1965. Believe it or not, until then, we had an immigration policy that favored white people. These are the kinds of people who used to immigrate. No diversity. No wonder they look so unhappy. There was a terrible time when America was 90 percent white and was therefore very weak. It makes you wonder how we survived two world wars.

Can you imagine how awful the country would be if we hadn’t discovered diversity. Fortunately, white Americans woke up to how just how bad things were.

So now, every year, we ask wonderful, diverse people come to America and become citizens, and this makes us stronger. We don’t even mind very much if they come illegally, because if they aren’t white, they bring diversity. That’s why Joe Biden has promised to prioritize legal status for millions of undocumented immigrants.

What a mess it would be if there were only white people. You couldn’t have racial discrimination – and that’s all we ever talk about. You wouldn’t need an Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. In 2019, the EEOC heard 24,000 cases of racial discrimination, 7,000 cases of national origin discrimination, and 3,400 cases of color discrimination. Think how exciting those cases were, and how many lawyers and bureaucrats made a good living from them.

Each state does the same. In New York, there were 2,400 race and color cases and 1,000 national origins cases.

But the real excitement we get from diversity is riots. Last summer, imagine how bored the police and the media would have been without Black Lives Matter . It was the biggest news of the whole year.

Black people have been here for hundreds of years, but only now are we beginning to understand that they, more than anyone else, make us strong.

They make us strong from the highest levels of society all the way to the bottom. The strength they have brought us is beyond calculation.

Now, blacks are finally bringing strength to classical music, which has been pitifully weak for centuries. The Metropolitan Opera in New York just hired a chief diversity officer. She will bring great strength to hiring, artistic planning, marketing, and fundraising. As she explained in this New York Times article­, “I truly believe that this is the Met’s moment.” The place will finally bloom.

The whiskey industry has been very, very weak, but there’s hope. “A Potential Solution to Whiskey’s Diversity Problem” has been found. Jack Daniels recruited this lady to strengthen the whole industry. “The Colorful World of Birding Has a Conspicuous Lack of People of Color,” but it is rapidly gaining strength through diversity.

Diversity can even strengthen the past. The historical character of Bess of Hardwick was dramatically beefed up when the BBC discovered that she was actually Asian. But blacks bring the most strength. Lord Thomas Randolph is much stronger now. A new period drama on Netflix called Bridgeton has a terrifically strong cast of black characters.

The founders were too stupid to understand diversity, but they have been partially redeemed by the musical Hamilton. That’s why Alexander Hamilton, can stay on the $10 bill. The plan was to replace him with the diverse and therefore strong Harriett Tubman. Instead, she will go on the 20, where she will replace the very weak Andrew Jackson.

But did you know, there are still pockets of resistance to diversity? In his presidential memoirs, which he just published, Barack Obama wrote about Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, who couldn’t manage to do more than try to keep the economy going and improve the social safety net. And then, right there on page 602, Mr. Obama writes this: “Like me, he had come to believe that this was all any of us could expect from democracy, especially in big, multiethnic, multireligious societies like India and the United States. Not revolutionary leaps or major cultural overhauls . . . .”

What? Doesn’t he realize that multiethnic, multireligious societies are diverse and therefore strong? We should be making revolutionary leaps all the time. Mr. Obama sounds like those dimwit Founding Fathers who thought the country should be all white.

Well, white folks, we need to whip backsliders like Barack Obama into line. And you know what? I can imagine our country strengthening and strengthening until there are hardly any of us left at all. What a super-power we’ll be.

Imani Gandy, who is Senior Editor at the Rewire News Group, has a plan to speed things up. “Petition to put cis white dudes on a barge and float them out to sea.” That will teach everyone who looks like those stupid Founders to appreciate diversity, won’t it? And inclusion, too.