Posted on April 4, 2014

Revenge of the Turds

Gavin McInnes, Takimag, April 4, 2014


Studies have shown that while revenge fantasies can be therapeutic, carrying them out might make you feel worse.

So, indulge me in some revenge fantasies while I figuratively dole out punishments to the hatemongers who are holding America back from enlightenment. I’m talking about the racists and xenophobes and sexists who keep us all anchored in the past. These are vile, bitter old white people who reject equality and bask in their own stupidity. I’m talking about ignorant white supremacists like Richard Herrnstein, the author of The Bell Curve. This Nazi used junk science to “prove” that when looking at millions of people, there were discernible patterns correlating race and IQ. I wouldn’t even waste my time beating him up. I just wish he were dead.


Simply forcing someone to practice what they preach isn’t much of a revenge fantasy, however. If I’m imagining a punishment, I want something much more invasive. Rape has always been a very effective tool in war. Not only is it a barbarous assault that traumatizes the victim, it ends the enemies’ entire culture by diluting the race. It’s hard for the children of Bosnian rapists to hate Bosnians when they’re part Bosnian themselves.

So I don’t want racists to have to spend an afternoon with visible minorities. I want them to have to marry them and breed. Naomi Schafer Riley spews vile hatred from every pore in her body. Instead of seeing victory in the huge surges of educated African-Americans, she focuses on the quality of their dissertations. Riley was fired from The Chronicle of Higher Education for not taking black studies seriously enough. She seems to think academic writing on the lack of black midwifery in natural birth literature is a waste of time. She also failed to see how African-Americans such as Thomas Sowell and Clarence Thomas have “played one of the most-significant roles in the assault on the civil-rights legacy that benefited them,” as one of the students she was criticizing suggested. How do you knock sense into a woman who can’t see that Thomas Sowell is racist? Make her marry a black guy. Not only would she have to wake up every single day and see the face of the enemy, she’d have to have kids with him too. It’s easy to mock people of color from afar, but let’s see her raise three children of color with her black husband. She’d go from laughing at minorities to being a minority in her own home. Forcing her to sit on the couch and watch movies her black family picked out would be poetic justice.

This is fun. Let’s do this to other white supremacists on the Hatewatch list. Violence is for pussies. I want racists to have to mate and habituate with visible minorities. John Derbyshire personifies pure evil: he was fired from National Review for telling his children to be wary of black politicians and try to avoid being singled out by a black mob. Hey, white man, how about you marry a minority and have a son and a daughter with her? How sweet would it be for Derbyshire to have to stare at his own offspring and see Asian eyes staring back at him? Whoops, you just sullied your own perfect race, John. Of course, this will never happen — because white racists abhor anyone who doesn’t look like them — but we can dream, can’t we?


Jim Goad hails himself as “the bravest man in America,” and his hate bible The Redneck Manifesto is on its 13th pressing. He seems to think whites are the best, and I assume his America has no black people in it at all. So let’s move him down to Stone Mountain, GA where it’s 86.8% black. His nickname in his new neighborhood would be “snowflake” and he’d have to send his son to black schools with black teachers and black classmates. Yeah, let’s make Jim live in a neighborhood that’s 0% white, as civil rights warrior Tim Wise does, or bask under a tin-roofed shack of blackness, as SPLC’s Morris Dees does. The thought of Goad having to get his groceries in an all-black neighborhood and commuting for two hours each way through oceans of black people to get to work in Marietta makes everything seem right in the world. This is what it must feel like to be God.

I’ve saved my most elaborate punishment for last. Jared Taylor calls himself a “racial realist” and runs the bile-puking hate site American Renaissance. I’d like to put him in a time machine and have him be born in Japan, where he would spend his entire childhood being the only white person in the room. He would be forced to learn Japanese as his primary language and only hear English from his parents and movies. Then, after an entire childhood living in someone else’s culture, when he turned 16, I would bring him to America, where he would have to adapt to society as a Japanese man with white skin. Only then would he realize the beauty and power of multiculturalism, and understand the unassailable truth: diversity is our strength.

I realize that all this sounds cruel and unusual, but my heart is in the right place. My motives are the same as most progressives’: education. I want these ignorant pundits to see what’s going on so they can learn what the real world is all about. They couldn’t be espousing these wildly unpopular ideas because they feel a need to be truthful. {snip} John Derbyshire’s talks with his kids can’t be based on his desire for them to remain alive: they must be based on hatred of the unknown. Same with Jared Taylor. If he’s dubious about diversity, that must mean he’s never tried it. {snip} We need to lift these oblivious miscreants out of the darkness and into the light of perfect equality. Maybe then their views would be based on facts and what they truly believe, as opposed to just blind ignorance.