Revenge of the Turds

Gavin McInnes, Takimag, April 4, 2014

{snip} Studies have shown that while revenge fantasies can be therapeutic, carrying them out might make you feel worse.

So, indulge me in some revenge fantasies while I figuratively dole out punishments to the hatemongers who are holding America back from enlightenment. I’m talking about the racists and xenophobes and sexists who keep us all anchored in the past. These are vile, bitter old white people who reject equality and bask in their own stupidity. I’m talking about ignorant white supremacists like Richard Herrnstein, the author of The Bell Curve. This Nazi used junk science to “prove” that when looking at millions of people, there were discernible patterns correlating race and IQ. I wouldn’t even waste my time beating him up. I just wish he were dead.


Simply forcing someone to practice what they preach isn’t much of a revenge fantasy, however. If I’m imagining a punishment, I want something much more invasive. Rape has always been a very effective tool in war. Not only is it a barbarous assault that traumatizes the victim, it ends the enemies’ entire culture by diluting the race. It’s hard for the children of Bosnian rapists to hate Bosnians when they’re part Bosnian themselves.

So I don’t want racists to have to spend an afternoon with visible minorities. I want them to have to marry them and breed. Naomi Schafer Riley spews vile hatred from every pore in her body. Instead of seeing victory in the huge surges of educated African-Americans, she focuses on the quality of their dissertations. Riley was fired from The Chronicle of Higher Education for not taking black studies seriously enough. She seems to think academic writing on the lack of black midwifery in natural birth literature is a waste of time. She also failed to see how African-Americans such as Thomas Sowell and Clarence Thomas have “played one of the most-significant roles in the assault on the civil-rights legacy that benefited them,” as one of the students she was criticizing suggested. How do you knock sense into a woman who can’t see that Thomas Sowell is racist? Make her marry a black guy. Not only would she have to wake up every single day and see the face of the enemy, she’d have to have kids with him too. It’s easy to mock people of color from afar, but let’s see her raise three children of color with her black husband. She’d go from laughing at minorities to being a minority in her own home. Forcing her to sit on the couch and watch movies her black family picked out would be poetic justice.

This is fun. Let’s do this to other white supremacists on the Hatewatch list. Violence is for pussies. I want racists to have to mate and habituate with visible minorities. John Derbyshire personifies pure evil: he was fired from National Review for telling his children to be wary of black politicians and try to avoid being singled out by a black mob. Hey, white man, how about you marry a minority and have a son and a daughter with her? How sweet would it be for Derbyshire to have to stare at his own offspring and see Asian eyes staring back at him? Whoops, you just sullied your own perfect race, John. Of course, this will never happen—because white racists abhor anyone who doesn’t look like them—but we can dream, can’t we?


Jim Goad hails himself as “the bravest man in America,” and his hate bible The Redneck Manifesto is on its 13th pressing. He seems to think whites are the best, and I assume his America has no black people in it at all. So let’s move him down to Stone Mountain, GA where it’s 86.8% black. His nickname in his new neighborhood would be “snowflake” and he’d have to send his son to black schools with black teachers and black classmates. Yeah, let’s make Jim live in a neighborhood that’s 0% white, as civil rights warrior Tim Wise does, or bask under a tin-roofed shack of blackness, as SPLC’s Morris Dees does. The thought of Goad having to get his groceries in an all-black neighborhood and commuting for two hours each way through oceans of black people to get to work in Marietta makes everything seem right in the world. This is what it must feel like to be God.

I’ve saved my most elaborate punishment for last. Jared Taylor calls himself a “racial realist” and runs the bile-puking hate site American Renaissance. I’d like to put him in a time machine and have him be born in Japan, where he would spend his entire childhood being the only white person in the room. He would be forced to learn Japanese as his primary language and only hear English from his parents and movies. Then, after an entire childhood living in someone else’s culture, when he turned 16, I would bring him to America, where he would have to adapt to society as a Japanese man with white skin. Only then would he realize the beauty and power of multiculturalism, and understand the unassailable truth: diversity is our strength.

I realize that all this sounds cruel and unusual, but my heart is in the right place. My motives are the same as most progressives’: education. I want these ignorant pundits to see what’s going on so they can learn what the real world is all about. They couldn’t be espousing these wildly unpopular ideas because they feel a need to be truthful. {snip} John Derbyshire’s talks with his kids can’t be based on his desire for them to remain alive: they must be based on hatred of the unknown. Same with Jared Taylor. If he’s dubious about diversity, that must mean he’s never tried it. {snip} We need to lift these oblivious miscreants out of the darkness and into the light of perfect equality. Maybe then their views would be based on facts and what they truly believe, as opposed to just blind ignorance.


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  • Neanderthal Pride!

    Progressimism – it’s a mental disorder.

    • guest


      All the “tortures” described in this article are based on the real lives of the people described. JT did grow up in Japan speaking Japanese etc. The really ignorant people are the anti-racists who live in Vermont, who have never seen diversity.

      The writer of this article is being sarcastic, because in fact the anti-diversity leaders have lots of real-life experience with diversity. Racism isn’t caused by ignorance. Racism is caused by knowledge of reality. In-group preference isn’t some abnormal psychology; it’s innate, and necessary for our survival.

      That’s what the writer is expressing.

      • John R

        Thank you. Interesting. When it said that Tim Wise grew up in a 0% White neighborhood, I was wondering. And why pick Japan as a place to put Jared Taylor? He hasn’t spent much time, to my knowledge, attacking the Japanese? Good points.

  • McInnes is one of America’s great writers today. When I started my website six weeks ago one of the first things I did was put a link to McInnes site in the blogroll, and a link to his pal Jim Goad. Amren’s there too, along with Taki and dozens of other “hate” sites.

    There’s great satire and snark from most of the regular crew over at Taki’s. McInnes and Goad are the best. Glad to see this one show up here on Amren. Check out the Taki archives and I guarantee you a delicious mind-blowing, UN-PC treat.

    • Oil Can Harry

      I like how the author threw in that the phonies Tim Wise and Morris Sleaze live in all-white towns.

      He also mentioned Susan Patton, a pleasant Jewish woman who was nearly lynched last year by feminazis and foaming-at-the-mouth liberals.

      Her unforgivable crime? She advised young college woman to get married and raise families.

    • Frank_DeScushin

      I love Taki’s Magazine too, and I often read your excellent comments there. It’s obvious by the comments here, that not many Amreners are as familiar with TakiMag because if they were they would be familiar with McInnes and know that this is 100% satire. From reading Gavin’s work I’m fairly certain he is a race-realist. His reference to Jared Taylor suggests that McInnes is familiar with Taylor and may likely even read this site and nod in agreement.

  • RebelliousTreecko

    I enjoy some good satire every once in a while.

  • LovelyNordicHeidi

    I’m talking about ignorant white supremacists like Richard Herrnstein, the author of The Bell Curve. This Nazi used junk science to “prove” that when looking at millions of people, there were discernible patterns correlating race and IQ. I wouldn’t even waste my time beating him up. I just wish he were dead.
    When people cannot rationally beat arguments, they can only resort to ad hominem attacks, violence and death wishes. Playing the Nazi card is one of their favourites. I am not buying into such propaganda. I am only interested in sound reasoning and sound arguments. Still, the propaganda machine victimises millions of our people.

    • bilderbuster

      That’s the understatement of the year!

  • MekongDelta69

    Takimag = satire.

    “I’m talking about the racists and xenophobes and sexists who keep us all anchored in the past.”
    Shame on Gavin – he left off ‘homophobic.’

  • Alfred the Great

    Okay, I promise that form now on I will never question diversity again! The reason that I can say this is because diversity is total k-r-a-p and there ain’t no question about that.

  • D.B. Cooper

    Are you going to take a dude who looks like this seriously? Take a look at the “literature” under his bed.

    • John K

      Pot smoker if I’ve ever seen one. You would have probably found this imbecile crapping in a public park during those moronic 99% protests.

    • He’s a clown.
      A right-wing clown (with a black-belt in sarcasm) that bashes political correctness.
      This is the first I have heard of him.
      I like him and endeavor to learn more about him.

      • Between Gavin McInnes and the author of Diversity Chronicle blog, my title of “Snarkiest Bastard on the Internets” is seriously in danger. I better dial up the snark-o-meter to the max.

    • IstvanIN

      What is wrong with the magazines under his bed? They just look like girly magazines.

      • AutomaticSlim

        The one on his right looks like one from the 80s…

  • Alexandra1973

    He sounds like his acid trip went wrong. LOL

  • Oil Can Harry

    Please note this piece was satire and your blood pressure will drop.

    McInnes is a conservative hipster whose columns usually skewer the p.c. left.

    • Lots of the commenters here are taking McInnes seriously. I see you over at Taki’s so you know the score. Folks, Mcinnes is mocking our enemies by exaggerating their craziness. He’s mocking our enemies.

      • Tarczan

        And he did a pretty good job of it. He had me going for a while.

        • Martel

          I thought he suddenly turned out to be a politically correct pansy until i got to his description of Jared Taylor.

      • The first hint was that nothing seriously liberal would be in Taki Theodoracopulous’s sandbox.

        The second hint was the suggestion that John Derbyshire should be forced to marry an Asian woman, when he’s already married to an Asian woman.

        • Stan D Mute

          As if you’d even need a second hint..

        • The Verdict of History

          In picked it up when he called Richard H. a Nazi.

          The irony there was too profound for it to be a genuine piece.

          • scottthestrategerist

            Yeah, I thought he was a Jew and I was like, “Whaaaaatttt???”

      • Anon

        In order for such mocking to be funny, it has to be over the top, or unreasonable exaggeration. The problem is, most liberals think this way, certainly feel free to talk this way and are planning to act on this way of thinking exactly to the degree they have the power to do so. The people currently in office now have a history of being investigated by the FBI and recorded meeting in groups talking seriously about such things should they ever get into power. Well…they are in power….now.
        There is absolutely NOTHING funny about that. Such “satire” should, instead, be overtly explained as the typical way liberals think and plan to act, as part of a sober treatise on arming oneselves, organizing and preparing for a full scale, genocidal civil war.

        • bilderbuster

          I agree because there wasn’t any exaggeration at all.
          It seemed like he was more or less down playing the way the multicultural/diversity believer truly feels & that combined with their historically documented record of mass murder isn’t a laughing matter.

        • John R

          Yes, thank you, too! (I already thanked another poster here.) Yes, we are a little dense to not notice what should be obvious satire, but can you blame us? After hearing, and being bombarded for years by so many off the wall things that liberals say and claim, no wonder we cannot detect satire by outrageous claims; that is all our enemies do in reality!

      • bilderbuster

        That is their goal though.
        Oprah’s dream of getting back at the “old White racists” before she has them murdered is for them see their mixed race grandchildren before they die.
        Kind of like when Black Panther Eldridge Cleaver wrote in his book “Soul on Ice” how he thought when he was sneaking into White neighborhoods & raping the very young daughters of “The White Man” he was committing a “Revolutionary Act”.

      • scottthestrategerist

        Well, it shows how crazy they are that he could mock them so effectively that we all thought he was serious! lol

    • 1stworlder

      Its getting harder to tell satire from what leftist say.

      • Zaporizhian Sich

        There is nothing satirical about what the left and it’s prime movers are doing to us.

  • Luca

    His imitation of a liberal is spot on.

  • tickyul

    I fear the hateful Diversity-Hipsters almost as much as I fear Urban Americans.

    • Martel

      No reason to fear them, they lost. Multi-ethnic societies have always failed, point to any Western country of choice to make your point.

      • David Ashton

        Or indeed many other countries. Managing multi-ethnicity anywhere is a complex problem, but that isn’t why the New Left wanted to create such problems in Britain and other European “democracies”.

      • tickyul

        I believe the USA is one the downside of its lifespan. The corrupt people running this country…will gladly deposit the USA on the scrapheap of failed countries, as opposed to abandoning their sick ideology and giving up control.

        • Martel

          It is, as much as I love the American Dream, as a European, I have let it go. Perhaps something is salvageable which will be similar, but the first goal is to ensure whites are capable of surviving in homogeneous communities.

  • Kathy M

    Speaking of Naomi Schaefer Riley, the author says sarcastically, “Make her marry a black guy. Not only would she have to wake up every single day and see the face of the enemy, she’d have to have kids with him too.”

    Well, Naomi did just that. She not only married a negro, she also bore him three mulatto hybrids.

    • Martel

      Its satire, he correctly describes Taylor’s upbringing to mock the leftist stereotypes of race realists and whatever Riley is supposed to be.

      • Kathy M

        Okay, I saw what he wrote about Jared. LOL

        • Martel

          It took me a bit too lol. But McInnes is one of the least PC guys out there.

    • Mentious

      She really did this? Sad if true.

    • dcc2379

      There are coed prisons now?

    • That is just plain disgusting. Anyone who complains about me marrying a Japanese needs to take a look a THAT and then STFU.

      • Zaporizhian Sich

        Indeed! Most of the kids I see that result from white women shacking up with black men bring the picture below to mind.

    • benvad

      I hope they join the jewish community and they benefit from their beloved multiculturalism. Next they should move to Israel and enrich them.

  • Martel

    Its clear if you are familiar with the backgrounds of those involved.

    • IstvanIN

      Actually he is right, the uninformed will take him seriously.

      • Martel

        Takimag has a certain audience though. But a random uninformed diversity monger will not understand it was satire, perhaps he send it to professional diversity mongers like Wise who likely would understand.

    • John R

      But how many people ARE? Very few!

      • Martel

        The number of Americans who know their backgrounds, is basically irrelevant, that is true. I still think few leftists will read it, and all readers of Takimag know McInnes(or should). If a few leftists by accident will read another one of his articles they are on the road to be cured.

  • John K

    Absolute lunacy. Liberals love the thought of being dominated by non-whites and to breed with them. They are deranged.

    Look what happens when whites breed with blacks. For example: Halle Berry, raised by her white mother, still considers herself black, even though her black father abandoned them.

    Segregation is the answer, followed by a Back to Africa initiative.

    • benvad


  • Stan D Mute

    People! Learn BEFORE you post.

    Derbyshire IS married to an Asian woman. Goad DOES live in Stone Mountain surrounded by Africans. And our host Mr Taylor WAS raised in Japan. And of course neither Tim Wise nor Morri$ Dee$ lives remotely close to the diversity they love.

    Sheesh, as if McInnes title, “Revenge of the TURDS” wasn’t clear enough?

    I concede that TakiMag may be a bit highbrow, but Amren isn’t exactly Stormfront or CofCC either is it?

    Somebody edit the comment thread and delete the clueless posts PLEASE!

  • MBlanc46

    “Anybody ever asks you what the sweetest thing in life is–” said Lazzaro, “it’s revenge.”

    Kurt Vonnegut, “Slaughterhouse Five”

  • Mentious

    Very funny tongue-in-cheek article loaded with little bombs to go off later in leftish faces. Brilliant.

  • Winston_Jack

    I remember reading The Redneck Manifesto several years ago, and even passing on some copies to friends. To see here that it is in its 13th printing is great news!

    You can bet I’ll be reminding my friends about that too.

    And anyone here who recognizes TakiMag should have clued in right away that this was a (good) piece of satire!

  • rasher223

    They are throwing ethic white americans in the trash bin because that’s how they think of us, as just trash.

    They look at us like trash because we don’t see eye to eye with them on issues, and one of those issues is race.

  • Caucasoid88

    Jim Goad, Jared Taylor, Gavin McInnes, Fred Reed, Gregory Hood, Steve Sailer. These are a few of the bravest writers of today.

    Interestingly, I think one of the most important voices overall belongs to Anthony Cumia of The Opie and Anthony Show. He reaches the most people with pure, unadulterated, hilarious truth about the black menace and menacing government. They had a discussion about Obamacare yesterday and it’s currently going viral.

  • Rawstory moderator blocked me from commenting on Suey Parks’ story. She made headlines after complaining Colbert show was racist. The article I was commenting on was on Ms. Park’s opinion of oppressive white privilege. It was really about how much she hates white men and now that she’s famous she can make money going around telling liberals about the evils of white men.

    Most liberals have no real data to support their opinions. Instead, they’ll try to suppress anyone with a different view by calling them “white supremacist” or “go back to Strormfront.” Basically real world data that’s even supported by our government is not factual information for liberal minds. Their brains have been converted into a self hating machine: I’m white therefore I’m evil and minorities can do what they want – that’s only fair. They view every white person that distances themselves from minorities, especially blacks, as a trailer park trash living in Northern Georgia.

    Honestly, I find liberals and conservatives living 90 minutes outside the beltway as the real racist pigs. You see, they might tell you they don’t want to be around D.C. area, but really they just don’t want to live in the ghetto.

  • And Gavin McInnes knocks it out of the park with another brilliant, courageous satire. I wonder how many leftists will circulate this approvingly before realizing that he’s mocking them.

    This is what we need more of–humor. White nationalism can be awfully dour and humorless at times. Making it funny and ridiculing our enemies is much more appealing to newcomers, and keeps us from despairing as we fight.

    • Sloppo

      That fellow definitely has an amazing sense of humor. Have you seen Gavin’s youtube videos about survival in the wild? I especially like the one where he smears poison ivy leaves on his face to alleviate the pain of bee stings. I wish he didn’t use profanity though.

      • I’ve been a fan of Mr. McInnes since his earliest days with Vice. Despite a tendency toward navel-gazing and a childish fixation on his glory days as a punk, his writing is generally incisive and funny.

  • Einsatzgrenadier

    There’s nothing more useless than multicultural diversity. It doesn’t do anything, at least nothing good. It serves no purpose, apart from driving whites away from their jobs and homes and reducing their population numbers. If we’re going to have diversity, it should maximize the well-being of the white electorate, making them richer and more prosperous. Why can’t we let diversity benefit us the way it benefits the Persian Gulf Arabs? The Arabs have the good sense to make sure their worthless paki slaves know their place, extract every last penny from them, beat them whenever they step out of line and ship the paki foreigners back to India when they cause problems or no longer serve any purpose. Our non-white foreigners should exist to serve us and make us all rich, but if they can’t even do that, get rid of them!

    • IstvanIN

      Not that I totally disagree with you, but quite frankly I would rather not have to deal with or look at them at all, unless it is in the pages of National Geographic.

      • Zaporizhian Sich

        I see enough of this abomination here. White women on the arm of a black man get a look from me that can liquefy air. Had that been my daughter, I would probably disown her, and the black trash would have good reason to regret putting his paws on her. I am in a way glad I have no children, at least I do not have THAT vulnerability, because darkies love to attack our race by molesting, harming, harassing, or killing our children.

        • Sloppo

          I know that this world is a tough place and the negative aspects will present challenges for my family, but without children it’s over for us. Our ancestors endured many hardships and I’m thankful that they had children. I cherish my children and enjoy their existence, but I also consider having and properly raising them to be an obligation I owe to my ancestors who made many sacrifices to make my existence possible.

          • Zaporizhian Sich

            Yes but your ancestors and mine did not clean up other men’s “rubbish” the way an increasing number of white men are today. Let’s just say, I’m through dealing with another man’s kids.

          • Sloppo

            I do consider myself to be very well blessed in that way. Our family life is far from perfect and we have serious ups and downs, but what I have been given is better than I deserve. I pray that you find righteous success and the right circumstances to build as much of a family as you would like to have.

        • I love having a daughter. Children are reality’s substitute for immortality. Their curiosity is wonderful to be around. I got a second arc-welder’s helmet, just because she likes to watch what I do.

          Ariadne was a major help with a project last week. I kept an old card file for my gun collection, with a separate 5 X 8 card for every piece. We did the same thing last week for a similar file for the household electronics and other valuable items. I used lettered and numbered punches or a diamond scribe to assign serial numbers to items that did not already have them. Of course she couldn’t move the big CRT computer monitors, but she took notes and called back model and serial numbers as I told them to her. The card file is going into the safe-deposit box. None of our bicycles originally had serial numbers. They do now, stamped into the frames, and she handed me the lettered and numbered punches as I asked for them. I filled in the SN’s I stamped with hobby paint, using a fine brush. Ariadne made the work go at least 50% faster.

          I turn 48 next week, my wife is 32 and our daughter is six. I look nothing like my real age, so I have plenty of time.

  • RisingReich

    Science and fact are racist. You’re a NAZI if you believe in science and fact. That’s what these people believe.

  • WmarkW

    They take April Fool Week pretty seriously at Taki.

  • By coincidence just the day previous, on 4/3, CNN posted the following pix showing that diversity is becoming more acceptable, finally.

    • I just threw up into my mouth: bratwurst and sauerkraut. Thanks.

    • AutomaticSlim

      I am sure the parents of those girls are very proud.

      But seriously. The first girl looks like Hayden Panettiere.
      What on earth would possess her to date that thing with the earrings and the man-b**bs?

      • benvad

        Brainwashing in the school system.

  • John R

    Funny. Typical liberal. An entire article about how he would like to take revenge on people with whom he disagrees, and how outrageous he thinks the attitudes of those people are, but not a single word showing us WHY those “racist” people are wrong. Just hate us and call us all racists and masturbate to your revenge fantasies, huh? (Woke you people all up using that word, huh? Had to spice things up here, sorry, Mr. moderator!)

  • John R

    EXACTLY! Mr. Wise (GUY) probably does know fairly well about most of these people, and knows that most DON’T know about them, and he is a master of propaganda-I have heard some of his views expressed. ( example: You and I might know if someone is a pedophile, but we sure as heck wouldn’t let him talk to any children!)

  • William Krapek

    I’m sexist and racist and I’m old. Check.

    But not quite White. Mediterranean. Uncheck.

    And I was dragged kicking and screaming to this conclusion after decades of fighting it.


  • Paleoconn

    i didn’t know Rowling was a diversity-pusher. I never read her books or saw the movies adapted from them to glean anything out of them, either. Thanks for the information.

  • wretchedwhiterabbit

    This writer is walking a fine line between musing and advocating violence against people who have a pro-White opinion.

    The paragraph about Jared Taylor is classic. Is he suggesting that we blend the Japanese out of existence to solve the Japanese supremacy problem? nah…He just wants to use the non-White majority in Japan to inflict suffering on White people.

    Then, he wants to blend the White race out of existence in White countries. Asian privilege in Asian countries? That’s fine. Black privilege in Black countries? Not a problem. But hey! We absolutely CANNOT have a majority White country existing in the world. Every country founded and built by the global minority Whites MUST be delivered to the non-White global majority.

    He’s not anti-racist; he is anti-White. Anti-racist is a code word for anti-White.

  • scutum

    Based on Mr. McIness’ past exploits and reputation I can only conclude that this article is a mockery and parody of liberal prejudices and opinions.

    • wretchedwhiterabbit

      It did seem odd and out of character. Being Takimag, I took it at its cursory first impression, but having re-read the Title and first paragraph, I’m now more inclined to agree with you. It’s not really the writer, but his audience, who walks, and crosses, the lines of hypocrisy. I’ll have to edit my last comment appropriately.

  • scottthestrategerist

    Derbyshire should divorce his wife. Love is a biological construct. It doesn’t really exist and it certainly doesn’t matter. Create white children. Do your duty. Period.

  • David Ashton

    It is many years since I stayed in the old Raffles Hotel, but at that time there was an accepted territorial “apartheid” for the different racial groups, as well as immigration control, and a government with an authoritarian policy regarding crime and cleanliness; at a later date, it encouraged a eugenic policy for students. The combination of high IQ with cultural homogeneity helps.

    Incidentally, the People’s Action Party copied the flash-and-circle symbol first used by Mosley’s movement in the UK.

    In April 1961 the Malayan High Commissioner in Australia spoke of tensions between the Malayans, Chinese, Indians and Eurasians, and said that he understood the “White Australia” policy as “trying to prevent the same racial problems that have occurred in South Africa and other nations”.

    Of course, pull of global capitalism and the push of liberal leftism have not diminished the prospects of ethnic tension, even for Singapore.