Half of Women Delay Starting a Family Because They Don’t Want to Give Up Their Freedom

Sophie Borland, Daily Mail (London), September 5, 2012

Almost half of young women are delaying starting a family because they don’t want to give up their freedom, a new survey has revealed.

Many are putting off having children because they would rather have more money, be able to focus on their careers and enjoy spending more time with their partners.

The 2012 Modern Motherhood Report for Red magazine survey found 22 per cent had disagreed with their husbands or partners about when to have a baby.

The poll of 3,000 women aged 28 to 45 also revealed that just over a third – 36 per cent – were not yet sure if they ever wanted to start a family.

More than half of women thought not being able to have babies because they haven’t met Mr Right is as bad as being infertile, according to a survey.

And one in five even say they would consider trying to conceive without a husband or partner by using donor sperm.

Another fifth have thought seriously about freezing their eggs so they could have children later on.

Crucially 54 per cent said that being ‘emotionally infertile’ – not being able to have children because they didn’t have a partner – was as painful as being medically infertile.

This included one in six – 15 per cent – who had split up as a result.

Brigid Moss, health director at Red, said: ‘We have identified what we call emotional infertility, that is being childless not by choice, due to not having a partner or a partner not wanting to have children.

‘We all know someone in this position. A doctor can’t help with emotional infertility.

‘It’s become more acceptable to talk about medical infertility with your friends and family, so women can now be more open about that. But it must be very hard to confess that you’re desperate for a baby, but haven’t met anyone.

‘Every few months, there’s another warning from the medical profession that the best time to conceive is under 35. But this report has shown that often, at the right biological time, women are simply not in the right place emotionally or financially to start trying.’

One woman who took part in the survey said she decided to find a sperm donor after her 40th birthday.

Nicola, who did not wish to give her full name, used a website which specially matches women with donors, and became pregnant a few months later.

One in ten women who took part in the survey had IVF and on average they paid just over £7,200 for treatment.

Of those who had fertility treatment, more than three quarters – 77 per cent – paid for it privately.

Only last week a separate report found one in three women were being refused IVF on the NHS, even though they were entitled to treatment.

The National Infertility Awareness Campaign found that Primary Care Trusts were routinely denying women treatment, against guidelines from the health watchdog NICE.

Couples are meant to be offered three rounds or ‘cycles’ of IVF as long as they are aged between 23 and 39 and have been trying naturally for three years.

But many PCTs are ignoring these guidelines and replacing them with their own, far stricter policies to try to save money.

* Red’s survey was carried out for the Red Modern Motherhood Report, which appears in the October issue.

Topics: , ,

Share This

We welcome comments that add information or perspective, and we encourage polite debate. If you log in with a social media account, your comment should appear immediately. If you prefer to remain anonymous, you may comment as a guest, using a name and an e-mail address of convenience. Your comment will be moderated.
  • Stentorian_Commentator

    It takes me a while to pick up on things, but one thing I have learned is that the primary mission for the members of any civilization is to generate and raise the next generation, and it’s best to start that when in one’s early twenties, not late thirties like I did.  Mid- to late teens is a little early, but it can be done.  All this crap about enjoying life, it passes like long past feasts and drinking binges, leaving little behind.  The big satisfactions come from the kids.  It’s just one more layer of leftist/materialist/anti-western b.s. we have to dig out of to get to the truth.  Cut off foreign aid and give it to intact families struggling to make ends meet.  Ah, don’t get me started.

    • ncpride

      Exactly my thoughts. What is a career, freedom and wealth if it means dying alone with no family or children, and nothing of yourself left behind? The satisfaction IS in the kids. My life revolves around mine, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. When it’s my time, I hope to go surrounded by my children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. See…? Children: The gift that keeps on giving.

      • IstvanIN

         So true.  I wish I had had the opportunity to have more children.

  • ShoutsAtTV

    They don’t want to give up freedom? What so they think men are doing? Marriage is nothing short of wage slavery for men, for a minimum of 18 years! And they wonder why they can’t find mates? Yeah! Let me sign right up for a deal that in 7-12 years, tear up my life and send me to live in my car for the rest of my life. Good Deal!

    • E_Pluribus_Pluribus

      “Marriage is nothing short of wage slavery for men, for a minimum of 18 years!”


      Not for culturally adaptive men: 

      The three men who have fathered 78 children with 46 different women… and they’re not paying child support to any of them


      OPENING SENTENCE:”Three men in Tennessee have notched up a staggering 78 children by 46 different women between them – and are doing their best to squirm out of paying for a single one.” Continue at link.

  • Boereseun

    “Emotionally Infertile”. Haha, so that’s what they call ‘selfishness’ these days? 

  • IstvanIN

    What these people do not seem to realize, or accept, is that life has a beginning, a middle and an end.  No one knows when the end will come but for most of us wind down time begins at 50 whether you like or not.

  • Biff_Maliboo

    Here’s a fabulously chic, 21st century family:


    • IstvanIN

       If it weren’t for the stupid eye-glasses and the dumb name he would look like a red-headed white child!

    • Bon, From the Land of Babble

      Here’s another one — a typical 21st century American – or English — family portrait!!

      What’s not to love??


  • kjh64

    I don’t believe this at all. While women on average are having kids later than in earlier generations, most women aren’t delaying having children until they can’t find a partner or have to use IVF and to say half do is ludicrous. Also, another reason is that more young men today don’t want to commit to marriage/family but would rather sleep around, hang with the buddies and drink beer and watch the game.

    • NM156

      Young men don’t have jobs that can support families. That’s the end of your dumb beer-drinking argument.

    • newscomments70

      Very true, but it can go both ways. (by the way, you forgot video games and skateboarding…yes, even at 29). When I was younger, the girls wanted “bad boys”.  In this day and age, “bad boys” are often minorities.  The bad boys, of whatever race, make awful husbands and fathers. When such girls reach their 30s+, they are damaged goods…especially if they have pushed out a few puppies.  A decent white guy at that age would either be with someone, or prefer someone younger and “undamaged”. 

  • RisingReich

     Yup.  Even the mothers I know whom are ‘happy’ now to have kids, none of them admit the first pregnancy was ‘according to plan’.

    I better stop right there, lest my comment be deleted, since this is a pretty emotional topic for some (me included).

    • OPersephone

      I feel the same. Don’t know if I can even comment on this story, really. All I know is that living in the Wolf Age is the pits.

  • “Emotionally Infertile”.

    Good to know that there’s a name for my pain.

    • Church_of_Jed

      I can minister to your pain.

  • “Many are putting off having children because they would rather have more
    money, be able to focus on their careers and enjoy spending more time
    with their partners.”
    The legacy of feminism in a decadent society.  Why can’t they have both a career and motherhood?

    “Only last week a separate report found one in three women were being
    refused IVF on the NHS, even though they were entitled to treatment.”
    Oh yeah socialized medicine is wonderful.  Just wait in a queue 6 months (If you don’t die first in cases of serious illnesses) to given rationed care or told you’re not entitled to care.

    • People should be denied IVF unless they’re below 35 (or even 30) and infertile through no fault of their own. That would get people breeding earlier.

  • The__Bobster

    White sperm donors are known.

    Ghetto seed-spreaders are not.


  • The__Bobster

    Who would intentionally try to conceive such hideous children?

  • Puggg

     Most divorces are initiated by women, but that may be indicative of the fact that men do most of the cheating.

  • The Worlds Scapegoat

    “Half of Women Delay Starting a Family Because They Don’t Want to Give Up Their Freedom”

    Yet they gave up their freedom during the woman’s liberation movement and were force to work to support themselves. Some freedom.

  • Bon, From the Land of Babble

    “And if a White dares to fight back, he or she is accused of hate crime and imprisoned for far longer than the black savage who beats and severely injures the White.”

    England is an upside-down, anti-White police state — a place where Whites are not allowed to defend themselves in their own home against intruders.   It is no wonder that the birth rate of White Britons is below replacement level.

    From the UK Telegraph, 3 September 2012:

    “A farm worker and his wife have been arrested after two suspected burglars were shot at their isolate home.”

    “The man is believed to have grabbed a legally owned gun after they were disturbed by the break-in early yesterday.  He is understood to have fired at the intruders who then fled.”

    “Yesterday the home owner and his wife were arrested on suspicion of causing grievous bodily harm.”

    This is not the first case of Whites being arrested for defending themselves against attackers inside their own homes.  Understandable not wanting to bring children into such an anti-White society.


    • Seek

      I would do anything for Britain to produce a politician — yeah, even one — with the courage and prescience of Enoch Powell.  England may well be finished if it fails in this endeavor.

  • Bad_Mr_Frosty

    Excellent point. I’ve met more than 1 man who is being forced to pay for someone else to raise his children. Women don’t have the loyalty they used to have. Not that the men are always saints, but if the woman wants out, she takes everything with her.

  • IKantunderstand

    Everything  could be settled nicely. Re-establish meritocracy.Period. No excuses. No Infirmative Action. Blacks have to compete and pass. Women have to compete and pass. If a test score  proves to have a positive correlation with success at  job performance, then it’s viable, and it stays. No more passes.  You fail? Go apply in  Mogadishu, in that country, American blacks are practically genius grade.

  • JackKrak

    This is all a product of childhood extending to around 15 and adolesence to about 30. Not so long ago, people were adults and 18 or 20 at the latest and acted accordingly.

  • KenelmDigby

    Not a popular opinion for me to express here, and I’m sure I’ll pick up a lot of flak, but in my opinion radical feminism will lead to the extinction of the White race just as assuredly as its sister dogma ‘racial equality’ will.

    • OPersephone

      I agree completely. Feminism and multiracialism are the twin barrels of a shotgun pointed at the head of the West. The bullets have been travelling in slow motion, and now we’re beginning to see the slow-mo carnage.

  • This may be so, but it can be rectified. Denmark has much higher divorce rate & is, compared to US, ultra-liberal, but divorce there does not mean that men suffer more than women re material consequences.

  • We live in a youth obsessed culture with too many choices.

    In the past, when we lived in small communities, our choices for mates were limited. Young men and women had to vie for mates among a limited pool.

    Today, with so many choices, it’s often difficult to make a choice. If you do, you always have to wonder if you made the right choice.

    I believe this is part of the problem; too many choices and a fear of making the wrong life choice. That’s one reason young men and women aren’t making the right choices until they find it’s too late and they’re no longer viable mates.

  • refocus

    Another fifth have thought seriously about freezing their eggs so they could have children later on.

    Eggs cannot be frozen.  Embryos can be frozen.  Sperm can be frozen.

    Hmmm lets see 7,700 british pounds x $1.5 =  $11,550  / .65 (tax rate) = $ 17,700 before tax dollars for about 1 hour of a doctors time to evaluate and retrieve the ripe oocytes.

    It does take some expensive equipment; a computer, software, and ultra sound, vacuum needle and petri dish plus some incidentals.

    This same process is done with cattle every day for $300.

    Cattle embryos sell for $50 each.   http://www.advantagecattle.com/classifieds_embryos.htm

    Why so expensive for humans?

    Because they do not want us to reproduce.

    In particular they do not want us to reproduce the beautiful, intelligent and healthy.

    There are more white people worried about the elephants than are worried about white humanity.

    • RisingReich

       “There are more white people worried about the elephants than are worried about white humanity.”

      Reading this is like a kick in the crotch, because it’s so true.  Ouch.

  • refocus

     To learn how to attract women, that is to discover what women want go to:


  • newscomments70

    20 years ago, I recall a classmate of mine. He was a nerdy, engineer type. He was in decent shape, and he was very intelligent. He had a good personality, but was not good at meeting women. I remember he would frequent the bars in the trendy, young-professional part of the city. These bars were mostly white, but occasionally black guys and others would walk in…I could see why.  Most white guys found the girls cold and stand-offish. But attractive, young white girls would flock to the black guys in droves. The black men did not have to look good, only be black. Literally any black guy would have this priveledge. My “nerdy” friend would complain about this phenomona and eventually stopped going to the bars. In the meantime, a former girlfriend from high school called him up and they started dating again. She rejected him previously because he was too “boring”. She corrected her mistake, just him time. They have since married, they have a big house, three great kids, nice cars and vacations, etc. I wonder how it is working for the girls in the bar? 

    I was in the area recently. I saw something interesting. At the bus depot, I saw a normal looking, middle-aged white woman with what looked to be her son…a harsh-looking mullatto, about 28 years old, wearing a basketball jersey and gangsta clothes. The woman was doling out money to him, and he was going on a trip to see some relatives. The father was no where to be seen. I felt so badly for her, but she made her bed. That is the long term effect of  “Jungle Fever”. 

    •  A good friend of mine was a attractive very hard working man. He was funny, sweet, powerful, brainy and had pulled himself out of poverty and put himself through college and into a solid career.  The few times he went out to the bars all the women rejected him, instead swooning over black and mulatto men, and of the white men they selected low IQ jock types (aka snookie’s juice head) or men who seemed to be on welfare.  In the end the guy never married and just hated women. We wasnt awkward or nerdy there wasnt anything wrong with him. But women have been taught to select for something altogether different and their vision that life is one big F party paid for by student loans and daddy makes them incompatible with the hard working male. “Hes so stressed out and tired” and instead they pick the negro on welfare or the slacker dude

      • newscomments70

        Young women tend to fall for the “leader of the pack”, “bad boy” type. This phenomona is even mentioned in the media.  Being the leader of some cowardly gang is obviously pathetic, but the women are turned on by the posturing. A good way to counter this is for normal guys to be more aggressive. Lift weights, become more physically active, etc.   I know that sounds like oversimplification, but it helps signficantly.

        • The game/PUA lifestyle might not be how we wish our males to behave, but all white males should learn how PUAs apply the psychology underlying game.

  • OPersephone

    I wish with all my heart that men had never capitulated to the evil feminist ideology. Women never should have been given the vote, they never should have entered the workforce en mass, and the entire cultural and intellectual output of the 60s and 70s ought to be erased from history — I know, it’s useless to say such things, but it is so painful to see the destruction wrought by this ideology. It pains me to read so many bitter, angry comments from men, demonstrating that not only has feminism destroyed womanhood, it has also destroyed manhood as well. Maybe I’m a bit depressed right now, but I feel like we are just doomed at this point. How can any of this possibly be fixed? How can it be made right again? I curse all those who helped bring this about, both male and female; may they never know a day’s peace, wherever they are.

    • The only reason this comment isn’t being deleted is because you seem to be a woman.  If there is a case to be made about denying the franchise to women, women should be the ones making it.

      • OPersephone

        Yes, I am a woman.

        Thankyou for leaving my comment. It never occurred to me that expressing nostalgia for the way things used to be might be unacceptable. I am just a traditionalist, and traditionally, women have not been involved in governance. It seems to me that Western nations were a lot better off before female suffrage, and have pretty much gone to hell in a handbasket since then. I am also very practical, and if one is judging by results, rather than from an ideological standpoint, it seems fairly clear-cut.

        Sorry for ruffling feathers.

      • This_Name_Doesnt_Exist

        Are you serious?  That’s just about the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.
        How about this: “if there is a case to be made about denying blacks access to white society, blacks should be the ones making it.”

        What’s the difference between my statement and yours?

        • Half of all white people are women.

          • This_Name_Doesnt_Exist

            What difference does that make?

            Will you make the same argument about mestizos, once they’re half of the American population?

            Should we all shut up about black men who pursue white women, and only allow critical comments about it from black men who pursue white women?

            This site has flirted with outright censorship for as long as I’ve been around.  But deleting a comment simply because the wrong person made it, regardless of truth or accuracy, well I just don’t know what else you can call that.

            White women don’t deserve the coddling they get from the administrators of this site and some of the commenters who cry misogyny at any criticism.  And white women who don’t fall into these categories should be strong and confident enough to know that we’re not talking about them without us needing to make a bunch of qualifiers and disclaimers.  I won’t coddle the blacks; I won’t coddle white women either. 

            Our women have a long track record of using the apparatus of government against us in a punitive fashion.  You shouldn’t have to be a woman to point this out.

          • Notice I didn’t say that half of all people are women, I said that half of all white people are women, and by deduction, half of all white voters are women.  We guarantee our defeat if we embrace blatant misogyny.

          • This_Name_Doesnt_Exist


            We also guarantee our defeat if we embrace the rhetoric of those we oppose. 

            We guarantee our defeat if we embrace blatant misogyny.

            And as the truth became “racism” to the progressive multiculturalists, so the truth becomes “misogyny” to the race realists, who are so hungry for mainstream acceptance that they’ll water down or hide portions of their message to reel in the squeamish.

            Women who can’t handle critical dialogue don’t belong here.

          • Boereseun

            I think the Moderator doesn’t realise that American society has embraced blatant hatred of men instead, especially white men. 

            America has insured its own defeat by sidelining the very men who would serve it in its greatest hour of need. Oh, never mind, I ain’t American, guess this should be deleted then…

          • Boeresun:

            Just because society has embraced blatant hatred of men doesn’t mean we have to react by embracing blatant hatred of women.

            Anonymous By Necessity:

            Racial unity won’t happen if we tell half of our voters to buzz off.

      • Political correctness at AmRen lol? The truth is the truth whether its from a male or a female. (I’m female too.)

      • Boereseun

        First the Democrats pander to women with their ‘war on women’ rhetoric, then the Republicans pander to women during their Convention and now so does Amren. 

        Where does a white man stand, if I may be so bold as to ask? 

        • There is not a war between the sexes.  Doing right by white men doesn’t have to mean hurting white women, and vice versa.

    • RisingReich

      “It pains me to read so many bitter, angry comments from men,
      demonstrating that not only has feminism destroyed womanhood, it has
      also destroyed manhood as well.”

       “I curse all those who helped bring this about, both male and female; may they never know a day’s peace, wherever they are.”

      God bless you, ma’am.  Seriously, may God lay blessings upon your path.  The world needs more women like yourself, and needs more of you to speak your mind.

      Please never mind the ruffling of feathers or whatever.  Your message is BADLY needed.  Please don’t be deterred.

      • OPersephone

        Thank you. That actually made me feel a lot better.

    • Boereseun

      I wonder if anyone even realises that by allowing women to vote, it behooves the Government to send men to their deaths? This gives the women vote more power and thus elections can be won by merely killing more men and pandering to women.

  • Shawn_thefemale

    Fact is, we are better off not having to deal with children from women who feel that way. There’s already enough liberal white pinheads in our midst. 

  • RisingReich

     I feel just like you and fakeemail, except I can’t conjure up any empathy for these ‘now bitter’ females.

    Maybe once I get married I can get past it but right now only negative feelings get stirred when I think that I should be ‘feeling sorry’ for them.

    As Fakeemail said, “Nuts to that”. 

  • Seek

    I resent it when ultra-Orthodox Jews game the welfare system like this, and I resent as much when others do the same thing.  It’s not the job of taxpayers to subsidize parents who can’t or won’t pay for the children they have.  Welfarism is also an invitation for religious fanatics of all stripes to realize their lunatic “Quiverfull” fantasies.  

  • Seek

    Money talks, man.  You’re the ant and the other “cool” guys are the grasshoppers.   

    • OPersephone

      “Money talks.”

      Only to prostitutes.

      • Persephone Gray

        Periapsis — Yes. Women do have an evolutionary imperative to seek material security, but those for whom it takes precedence over all else show what they really are. My point was really that a man ought not to be surprised to end up with a prostitute when he uses money as his main attractor.

  • When someones spoilt upbringing has left them with an unrealistic sense of entitlement, Mr Right cannot exist, and they can get that idea out of their heads if they want to be happy.

  • This_Name_Doesnt_Exist

    Women’s lib predates the Hef, flappers came before Playboy, pornography is as old as art and prostitution is the world’s oldest profession.

    In spite of all this, Western marriage and families didn’t suffer until women decided (or were taught) that they needed to wear the pants in the relationship.

  • All those immaculate conceptions just happening lol…

  • Irrational rationalism lol.

  • Most of the male commentators here are, IMO, good & mature men. I don’t detect ego-centered, nihilist & misogynist streak I sometimes see at the site Chateau Hartiste, which is among those endorsing AR, but are, I’d say, more about rhetorical excess & not much emotionally or mentally mature/sane. Sure, some comments depict numerous life experiences, in & out of the US, but they remind me of a Russian proverb (free translation): “He’s traveled three seas & came back exactly the same as when he set off on journey.”

  • Persephone Gray

    Not at all, Denise! Your comment was very thoughtful and bolstered my resolve to remain undaunted at the size of the task before us. Thank you.

  • whitestone57

     American Women Have No respect For Themselves.

  • As a self-aware white woman has recently written:

    “This is what I tell young women now. Screw college. It’s a waste of time. It’s mind numbing propaganda and in today’s anti-white job market, degrees are totally worthless. Get married when you get out of high school. If you get pregnant before high school, keep the white baby. Have as many kids as you can.
    By the time you’re done having children, around the age of late 20’s, stay at home and watch your own white children by homeschooling, no daycare and please breast feed. By the time the kids are out of school, THEN you can go back to work and pursue that degree and enter the workforce. Keep the workforce open for YOUNG WHITE MEN. Maybe when the kids are grown, your HUBBY can pursue HIS dream of starting his own business or engaging in that hobby he pushed under the rug to raise a family.”
     And (for the record) she’s not even a christian. The times, they are a’changin’.