The 6 Most Secretly Racist Classic Children’s Books

Every piece of art is a product of the society that created it. {snip} Fortunately, we can shield our children from movies that might otherwise lead them to believe that the cast of Friends had successful film careers.

Things get a little trickier when classics of children’s literature suddenly let fly with the sort of out-of-the-blue casual racism usually reserved for old Southern men after a few too many drinks.

#6. The Secret Garden

It is the classic tale of a spoiled little girl named Mary whose parents die in India and who is sent back to England and put in the care of her emotionally distant sort of an asshole uncle. As she wanders around her uncle’s Castlevania-sized house, she finds a forgotten garden and a small, sickly boy, and with the magical power of flowers and wishes, the sickly boy gets healthier and then her uncle rediscovers the power of love and everyone becomes a better person.

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The Racism:

In the book, on the first morning after Mary moves into her uncle’s mansion, she is awakened by a straight-talking maidservant named Martha. It’s the sort of character who would be played by a sassy black lady in a modern American movie, but this is England, so Martha is just sassy and poor. She’s so sassy, in fact, that she tells her child-boss Mary that she thought she was going to be black because she came from India. Mary of course throws a temper tantrum, exclaims that blacks “are not people,” and bursts into tears.

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{snip} Unlike Mark Twain’s controversial Huck Finn, where the racially insensitive language is offset by Huck and Jim’s tender, buddy cop dynamic, Mary’s virulent racism is never corrected by anyone or by anything that happens in the book. In fact, Martha uses her role as the voice of reason in the situation to blame Mary’s awful behavior on the fact that she is from India, where there are “a lot of blacks there instead of respectable white people.”

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#5. Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock Holmes is one of the most beloved and iconic characters in the history of fiction, and if you are wondering what he is doing in this list, then it’s because you are only familiar with him through the countless movies and TV shows and not the original books.

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The Racism:

In “The Adventure of the Three Gables,” Holmes pursues a former slave named Steve Dixie. When Holmes catches up to Steve, he quickly dismantles him with his trademark analytical inquiry:

“I’ve wanted to meet you for some time,” said Holmes. “I won’t ask you to sit down, for I don’t like the smell of you, but aren’t you Steve Dixie, the bruiser?”

“That’s my name, Masser Holmes, and you’ll get put through it for sure if you give me any lip.”

“It is certainly the last thing you need,” said Holmes, staring at our visitor’s hideous mouth.

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{snip} In the second Holmes novel, The Sign of the Four, we meet a character named Tonga who is an aborigine from the Andaman Islands. Holmes doesn’t even need to smell Tonga to know he doesn’t like him, since he’s studied up on his people, and therefore knows that “they are naturally hideous, having large, misshapen heads, small fierce eyes and distorted features. Their feet and hands, however, are remarkably small . . . . They have always been a terror to shipwrecked crews, braining the survivors with their stone-headed clubs, or shooting them with their poisoned arrows. These massacres are invariably concluded by a cannibal feast.”

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#4. Tintin in the Congo

Tintin is the classic Belgian comic book about a young reporter, his dog and his bearded drunken sailor pal. Georges “Herge” Remi, the artist who created Tintin, is difficult to pigeonhole on the racism spectrum. On one hand, he was arrested four times on suspicion of being a Nazi sympathizer. On the other hand, he worked to change the portrayal of Asian people in European fiction from inscrutable and evil lemon-colored quasi humanoids to, you know, people. {snip}

The Racism:

On Tintin’s journey to the Congo, all of the black people he meets are drawn to look like they’re about to take the stage in the most offensive minstrel show ever put on. The Congo in Georges Remi’s mind is populated infantile and naive imbeciles who are seemingly designed only to prove that condescension has an equivalent to blind hatred. Tintin and his traveling partner don’t mistreat the natives. They find their attempts to build a country adorable, like a chimp that’s learned to eat with a knife and fork. It’s worth noting here that Tintin isn’t nearly as condescending as his traveling partner, a talking dog.

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In the comic–which was published 30 years after Joseph Conrad published Heart of Darkness–the Congolese people practically drop to their knees and begin worshiping their honky masters, thankful for their presence in the Congo.

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#3. The Chronicles of Narnia

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But all of that changes when C.S. Lewis decided to take us to the southern realms of Narnia in the fifth book, The Horse and His Boy. The titular boy is Shasta, and when he finds out that his adoptive dad is planning to sell him into slavery, he packs his stuff and runs away.

The Racism:

The people of the south, including Shasta’s adoptive father, are a dark-skinned people known as Calormenes. How do they differ from the cast of characters we meet up north? Well, the Calormenes live in the desert, have long beards, wear turbans and pointy slippers and are ruled by Tarkaans, which some have pointed out is vaguely similar to the Middle Eastern military rulers known as Tarkhans.

While the Calormenes are very clear stand-ins for Middle Eastern people, their religion focuses on a Satanic figure named Tash who requires human sacrifices. Also, they are all assholes. The first Calormene we meet is trying to sell his own adopted son into slavery, and it doesn’t get any better from there. They are all self-centered, traitorous, greedy, cruel and cowardly.

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So basically, all the Middle Eastern characters are evil jerks except those who abandon their culture and faith. So the best case that can be made for Narnia is that Middle Eastern people aren’t inherently evil, they just need to be converted to Christianity. {snip}

#2. Noddy

Noddy is the main character in a series of children’s books about a small wooden toy who lives in Toyland with other toys. His adventures were published from 1949 all the way to 1963. While relatively unknown in the U.S., Noddy books are a huge success in Europe and continue to be great sellers. {snip}

The Racism:

Just like the Toy Story series makes room for every different type of doll you might have grown up with, Noddy covered the bases of early 20th century toy boxes, featuring characters such as Mr. Tubby Bear (a Teddy bear), Dinah Doll (a china doll) and the Golliwogs (a family of racist monstrosities).

To be fair, Enid Blyton, the creator of Noddy, did not invent the idea of Golliwogs. They were based on real minstrel dolls that British children apparently used to pelt with rubber balls for being ugly. {snip}

In the Noddy books, the Golliwogs are portrayed as deceitful assholes who trick Noddy and steal his stuff. In Here Comes Noddy Again, the Golliwogs ask Noddy for help, only to take him into the woods and steal his car and clothes.

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#1. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

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You probably remember the Oompa Loompas–they look like compact clowns and sing creepy songs while getting rid of the corpses of the victims of Willy Wonka’s shoddy factory safety standards. If you are wondering what’s so racist about them it’s because you are only familiar with them from the movies.

The Racism:

In the original book, the Oompa Loompas don’t come from Loompaland–they come from Central Africa, and they were described as just regular ol’ black pygmies and not hippie clown dwarfs. They were relocated to Loompaland and their skin was changed from black to white in the illustrations thanks to growing controversy in the ’70s. Get your hands on one of the versions printed before the world came to its goddamn senses, and you’ll read about how Willy Wonka simply found a tribe of Africans, enslaved them and used them to replace his regular work force because they were willing to work for chocolate. {snip}

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