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Airline Mechanics Who Can’t Read English

More news stories on Multilingual America

Byron Harris, WFAA-TV (News 8, Dallas-Ft. Worth), May 16, 2009

News 8 has recently revealed serious flaws in the way the FAA licenses mechanics who fix planes.

There is evidence of years of problems in testing these mechanics. There is also evidence that hundreds of mechanics with questionable licenses are working on aircraft in Texas.

Now there is evidence of repair facilities hiring low-wage mechanics who can’t read English.

Twenty-one people were killed when U.S. Airways Express Flight 5481 crashed in Charlotte, North Carolina in 2003. The plane went wildly out of control on takeoff.

One reason for the crash, investigators found, was that mechanics incorrectly connected the cables to some of the plane’s control surfaces in the repair shop. The FAA was cited for improper oversight of the repair process.

Repairing airplanes is a complicated business. Airplanes have many manuals. Typically, when mechanics repair a part, they open the manual, consult the book, and make the repair step-by-step, as if it were a recipe book.

They make a list of every action they take, so the next person to fix the plane (as well as the people who fly it) will know exactly what has been done.

If mechanics don’t speak English, the international language of aviation, they can’t read the manual and they can’t record their activities.

There are more than 236 FAA-certified aircraft repair stations in Texas, according to the FAA’s Web site. News 8 has learned that hundreds of the mechanics working in those shops do not speak English and are unable to read repair manuals for today’s sophisticated aircraft.

Former FAA inspector Bill McNease told News 8 he regularly encountered applicants for pilots’ licenses who tried to pretend they could speak English—but could not.

“When I was based in Dallas, I had that happen every week,” McNease said. “It was not uncommon at all to have foreign flight students. We had mechanics, but I handled the pilot end of it . . . and I turned down people every week because they couldn’t speak English.”

“There are people [where I work] who do not know how to read a maintenance manual as they are spelled out, because they don’t have a clue,” said one certified aircraft mechanic who works at a Texas aircraft repair station. He wished to remain anonymous to protect his employment.

To certify a part for flight or repair an engine, a mechanic must be licensed by the FAA as an Airframe and Powerplant mechanic, known in the business as an “A&P.”

News 8 discovered that mechanics at one licensing center in San Antonio were being tested in Spanish as late as last fall. The FAA ultimately shut the facility down.

Supervisors in Texas repair stations say they are supposed to oversee the repairs of dozens of untrained mechanics who can’t read the manuals and can’t write down the work they’ve done.

But the FAA does not require every person working at a repair station to be a certified A&P. One certified A&P can sign off on the work of dozens of uncertified mechanics.

That creates a huge problem, another certified mechanic told News 8. “I need an interpreter to talk to these people,” he said. “They can’t read the manuals, they can’t write, and I have so many working for me I can’t be sure of the work they’ve done.”

To be sure of proper quality, the supervisor has to either re-do the work himself or take the chance that no mistakes have been made. There is a push to get work out the door and planes back in the air. But when he signs his name to certify the repair for flight, he is legally responsible for it.

{snip}

The FAA is supposed to police repair stations, but insiders say the agency is more focused on looking at paperwork than inspecting the facilities. Insiders also say inspectors warn repair stations when they’re coming.

{snip}

Texas’ two biggest airlines, American and Southwest, both require mechanics and the technicians who work under them to speak, read and write English.

But mechanics who work elsewhere—whose repairs often end up on commercial airliners—say their shops are filled with non-English speakers.

The FAA declined to be interviewed for this report.

Original article

Email Byron Harris at bharris@wfaa.com.

(Posted on May 19, 2009)

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Comments

1 — ranger wrote at 6:18 PM on May 19:

“There is evidence of years of problems in testing these mechanics. There is also evidence that hundreds of mechanics with questionable licenses are working on aircraft in Texas.”

I can just imagine watching the PC talking heads on TV trying to make it sound like all these inadequacies are pluses.

They would be doing the same if they wanted non-white, blind pilots to fly planes.

Every profession in this country has lower standards than what used to be accepted as the norm. It’s just one more indication of our degeneration toward third world status.

Remember the article on the black pilot trainees in South Africa? One black came in for a landing without first lowering his wheels. Another had problems and pushed his ejector button without popping the canopy first and would up plastered to the ceiling.

And the reason the big, black honcho gave for their dismal showings? What else, but white racism.

This is just another avenue of deterioration in another profession.

The people really responsible for all this are the whites who hire these pitiful rejects so they can earn larger bonuses.

2 — John PM wrote at 6:43 PM on May 19:

“Twenty-one people were killed when U.S. Airways Express Flight 5481 crashed in Charlotte, North Carolina in 2003. The plane went wildly out of control on takeoff.”

What a viciously racist article!

My God in Heaven, to make the obnoxiously absurd claim that English is, “the international language of aviation.”

When will we ever learn, that no price is too high to be paid when obtaining diversity’s strengths; or that multilingual and multiracial approaches to technical problems of any kind are far better, since they offer a uniquely innovative trajectory in working out those challenges?

After all, we aren’t in the Dark Ages anymore!

3 — wookie wrote at 7:09 PM on May 19:

“Former FAA inspector Bill McNease told News 8 he regularly encountered applicants for pilots’ licenses who tried to pretend they could speak English—but could not.”


Hmmmm… pretended to speak English. Imagine how stupid one must be to go to another country and try to bluff his/her way through an interview in a language they do not know. What are they thinking?! And who hires these people, who don’t speak English, to work on something as intricate as aircraft? Not much room for error on aircraft… or so I thought! What’s the real problem here? Is business so focused on profit that good sense goes out the window? Is our government so inept as to let this happen? Or, are we so twisted and turned inside-out by “equality” that we recognize English illiterate (possibly completely illiterate) vagrants as equals to trained/experienced technicians? Hard to believe our country has come to this!

4 — pilot_mkn wrote at 7:12 PM on May 19:

The article hints at, but doesn’t really go into detail about ‘English being the international language of aviation’

Any pilot, anywhere in the world, be it Russia, Germany or India is required by International Civil Aviation Organization standards to be ‘English Proficient’. They even stamp ‘English Proficient’ on the back of our pilot’s licenses.

Since they don’t mention the ICAO standards, the article makes it easy for some bleeding heart to assume its purely racism that is behind these applicants being turned down.

5 — john wrote at 8:00 PM on May 19:

I find this story a little hard to swallow. To become a certified A&E (airframe and powerplant) technician requires passage of some pretty stringent FAA exams, which are administered in English. It’s certainly possible that some sorts of ground handlers and perhaps shop personnel are not altogether fluent in English, but the guys turning wrenches and signing off on repairs and maintenance procedures are certified techs.

I’ve got somewhere between 4500-5000 hours in many types of aircraft and don’t remember ever encountering an A&E who wasn’t thoroughly conversant in English.

6 — Anonymous wrote at 8:35 PM on May 19:

In view of the fact that there are millions of air travelers who place their safety and lives in the hands of those who repair the aircraft they fly on, this should be a front page scandal across the country, but it looks like it will be just another issue swept under the rug for politically correct reasons…..that is not to hurt the feelings of Spanish speakers or provoke the ire of their whining advocacy organizations.

The question comes too mind: if these “mechanics” won’t make the effort to learn to speak, read, and write English, how can anybody know for certain just how dedicated or able to do their jobs correctly they are? It would appear these people just do the minimum to get in the door at these slipshod repair facilities. What an absurd situation that a supervisor needs a translator to speak to his own staff who work in a field where human lives can be put at risk.

What about all those car dealerships that are closing? I would venture there are a lot of excellent English proficient mechanics who know how to fix modern complicated cars that would probably be more concerned with following proper repair procedures on paper than those doing the job now with such a low educational level.

This appears to be one of those situations where one or more aircraft will end up crashing some day, killing all aboard, then the cause being traced to some ignorant foreign mechanic that made a critical mistake because he couldn’t comprehend English repair instructions. Only then might Congress hold hearings on the matter to correct such a ridicilous situation.

7 — Michael C. Scott wrote at 8:44 PM on May 19:

Who cares, anyway? Nobody in their right mind wants to fly today. Wait in line for hours and watch geriatric white women in wheelchairs searched, while Arabs board untroubled? No thanks.

If airplanes start falling out of the sky, I only hope they have the right people on them as the passengers.

8 — james wrote at 9:11 PM on May 19:

Repairing airplanes is a complicated business. Airplanes have many manuals. Typically, when mechanics repair a part, they open the manual, consult the book, and make the repair step-by-step, as if it were a recipe book.(i’m sure the book is always present,iworked on air force aircraft for 21/2 years and you always had a book and alway checked it no matter how many times you did the same job i’m certain airlines are the same)

9 — Anonymous wrote at 10:51 PM on May 19:

To John PM,The U.S.Air flight that crashed in Charlotte N.C.killing 21 was piloted by a female captain,are standards lowered for females,as well as other minorities,you bet they are,the Value Jet crash into the everglades in 1996,killing 110,featured a female pilot also,I was once on a flight from a northeastern city to Florida when a female captain had to be told by a passenger to have the aircraft de-iced after a long delay on the ground in an ice storm!

10 — Capt. Kirkegaard wrote at 10:56 PM on May 19:

Im going to agree with john. Im not going to believe that people being allowed to turn wrenches on a $100 million dollar aircraft that has a thick insurance policy and hundreds of lives in the balance are anything but fully qualified and rigorously tested. Theres just too much downside.

Sure I can see illegals turning wrenches in various car dealerships and repair shops but Delta airlines trying to save a few bucks on personnel by letting “rio grande pepe” do the service on the Pratt & Whitney simply isnt credible. Can you imagine an engine falling off over the atlantic and the FAA checking out the maintenance hangar and finding the guy in charge of the engine bolts used to work slinging tacos in Guadalajara?

Nope, bogus. The end of the airline is the downside here.

11 — SKIP wrote at 11:41 PM on May 19:

This appears to be one of those situations where one or more aircraft will end up crashing some day, killing all aboard, then the cause being traced to some ignorant foreign mechanic that made a critical mistake

NOT LIKELY! no one with their career in mind will accuse one of the protected species..It is always better to blame everything on the pilots, assuming they do not survive. If the pilots do survive, it makes cover ups all the more difficult finding whom to blame.

12 — Schoolteacher wrote at 11:42 PM on May 19:

I was at my local Sears when a half dozen non-Whites and women came into the tool section, lists in hand, buying rollaways and all the stuff to fill them. I asked one guy what the story was and they were all in some government training program, free tuition, free tools, because there was a shortage of aircraft mechanics. I didn’t ask if it was open to White men, but I wonder that Whites aren’t doing everything to enter so highly skilled a trade.

13 — SKIP wrote at 11:43 PM on May 19:

.(i’m sure the book is always present,iworked on air force aircraft for 21/2 years and you always had a book and alway checked it no matter how many times you did the same job i’m certain airlines are the same)

James…you have led a protected life if you believe that.

14 — Bon, the Tax Slave wrote at 12:19 AM on May 20:

From the article

“…There are people [where I work] who do not know how to read a maintenance manual as they are spelled out, because they don’t have a clue,” said one certified aircraft mechanic …. He wished to remain anonymous to protect his employment…”

Wow, imagine that: Terrified into silence, afraid to report blatant incompetence that will cost innocent people their lives. Better to keep silent than risk one’s career and reputation reporting non-White inability, ineptitude and inadequacy.

Such is the Reign of Terror that has descended upon Whites and turned us into heretics for speaking out against any perceived PC race dogma.

Can Torquemada be far behind?

Pass the Soma, two grammes.

Bon, Tax Slave of the Brave New World

15 — GenX in Oz wrote at 1:25 AM on May 20:

Our national iconic carrier recently has had some issues along the same lines, along with the recent high prices of fuel, the global economic crash and then all these safety incidents. Needless to say their reputation has suffered some what.

Read some headlines…..

‘Qantas Airways Plans to Outsource 400 Technology Jobs to India’
(Sept 06)
http://tinyurl.com/poxqsh
The airline closed its maintenance base in Sydney in March, axing 480 jobs.

‘Hole forces Qantas plane to land’ (Jul 08)…Video
http://tinyurl.com/62oalb

‘Pilot: outsourcing work is to blame’ (Jul 08)
http://tinyurl.com/pmbdtk

‘Qantas says safety scares are normal’ (Aug 08)
http://tinyurl.com/p9cg9h
The Civil Aviation Safety Authority (CASA) will launch an investigation into Qantas safety and maintenance operations following three mid-air emergencies on its jets in less than 10 days.

‘36 hurt in Qantas mid-air incident’ (Oct 08)
http://tinyurl.com/qpueh8

‘Computer error linked to horrific Qantas jet plunge’ (Oct 08)
http://tinyurl.com/4azc49

‘QANTAS workers push for local maintenance in negotiations’ (Oct 08)
http://tinyurl.com/qnsvsg

‘Qantas 747 crashes into another jet while being repaired after mid-air explosion’ (Nov 08)
http://tinyurl.com/6qu9gk

‘Qantas to cut 1,750 jobs as profits dive’ (Apr 09)
http://tinyurl.com/dempde

‘Qantas cancels Malaysian maintenance deal’ (Apr 09)
http://tinyurl.com/co7hnz
{snip}“says only one aircraft - a 737 - was serviced in Malaysia last year, and it came back with problems.


“Come fly with me, come fly, come fly away…..”

16 — jewamongyou wrote at 2:57 AM on May 20:

This is just another example of how diversity is good for the economy. You see, when an airplane crashes, paramedics, police, investigators and forensic scientists all must work at the scene. Then there are many business opportunities for funeral directors, clergy, politicians, prosecutors and counselors. All told, thousands of jobs are generated, or enhanced, when an airplane goes down. Also, let’s not forget that for each airplane that crashes, another one must be built. The benefits to the economy are great and they ripple through it on every level - from the highest paid technicians all the way down to the grave diggers. When an airplane happens to crash into an occupied building such as a school or hospital, then the economy really hits the jackpot! This is because the additional deaths bring even more jobs and rebuilding the destroyed buildings causes employment to untold thousands. So let’s all applaud diversity!!

17 — Anonymous wrote at 7:32 AM on May 20:

“I only hope they have the right people on them as the passengers.”

You mean like the big business people who want cheap labor and congress that allows this????LOL

18 — Buffalogal wrote at 7:34 AM on May 20:

The INTERNATIONAL LANGUAGE of pilots is ENGLISH,.. the WHOLE world has to comply, except the damn mexicans/south americans in this country!
One more ridiculous travesty to add to huge list of wrongs commited by our government on behalf of the alien invaders.

19 — Kill Your TV wrote at 7:53 AM on May 20:

“Who cares, anyway? Nobody in their right mind wants to fly today.”

Well, many of us have to fly for business and many enjoy traveling. To say that no one cares because YOU don’t have to fly makes you sound like an idiot.

20 — Fed Up wrote at 10:32 AM on May 20:

>>>When will we ever learn, that no price is too high to be paid when obtaining diversity’s strengths; or that multilingual and multiracial approaches to technical problems of any kind

And what, if I may ask, is the author of this nonsense smoking or ingesting? Why on earth would we gain strength from diversity? The idea is ludicrous; given the manifold negative benefits multi-cultural diversity bestows on a formerly homogeneous nation.

For the record, Mr. JohnPM, you might care to do a bit of researching basic history. The Industrial Revolution did not start in Bangladesh, in an obscure Indian, Chinese, Koreanese or Japanese village; much less the African jungles… The Industrial Revolution was really started in England with the development of the steam engine. Progressing to Europe and North America.

The third-world (non-White nations) have our European and their American ancestors to thank for all the benefits civilization has brought to them. If there were even a grain of real truth to the claim of racial equality, it would have been only reasonable that the various races were virtually equal in development, technology and knowledge. Differences being measurable in years rather than in centuries or millenia.

If you chose to feign offense at this historic and inarguable reality with shouts of “racism”, that is YOUR problem, certainly not mine.

21 — Fed Up wrote at 10:44 AM on May 20:

Some explain to me where our liberal fools come from… Under what rocks were they hiding? Those absurd ideas they insist at preaching at us ‘heretics’… like that nonsense that all races were created equal. While virtually every bit of learning, knowledge, research and science making today’s civilization possible… was inarguably the work of White Europeans and their descendants.

22 — Fed Up wrote at 11:29 AM on May 20:

That idiotic charge of “racism” by an above poster trumpeting the “blessings” of diversity and multi-culturalism inspired me to post this little tidbit received from a friend. What makes it particularly relevant… that the politically inadmissible message came out of the Los Angeles Times.

From the L. A. Times
1. 40% of all workers in L. A. County (L. A. County has 10.2 million people)are working for cash and not paying taxes. This is because they are predominantly illegal immigrants working without a green card.

2. 95% of warrants for murder in Los Angeles are for illegal aliens.

3. 75% of people on the most wanted list in Los Angeles are illegal aliens.

4. Over 2/3 of all births in Los Angeles County are to illegal alien Mexicans on Medi-Cal , whose births were paid for by taxpayers.

5. Nearly 35% of all inmates in California detention centers are Mexican nationals here illegally

6. Over 300,000 illegal aliens in Los Angeles County are living in garages.

7. The FBI reports half of all gang members in Los Angeles are most likely illegal aliens from south of the border.

8. Nearly 60% of all occupants of HUD properties are illegal.

9. 21 radio stations in L. A. Are Spanish speaking. \

10. In L. A. County 5.1 million people speak English, 3..9 million speak Spanish. (There are 10.2 million people in L. A. County. )

(All 10 of the above facts are from the Los Angeles Times)

Less than 2% of illegal aliens are picking our crops, but 29% are on welfare. Over 70% of the United States’ annual population growth (and over 90% of California, Florida , and New York) results from immigration. 29% of inmates in federal prisons are illegal aliens.

Kind of makes one wonder just what benefits, if any, we, the American people are supposed to enjoy from “diversity” as our esteemed JohnPM puts it. I, for one, would welcome his further explanation.

For the record, our state (Texas) is also “blessed” with a huge amount of multicultural diversity. Yes, because of it, crime is quite high in our state also.

23 — Michael C. Scott wrote at 2:06 PM on May 20:

My wife and I enjoy travelling, too, Kill Your TV. It turns out our cars run just fine.

We’re planning a road trip along parts of the old Route 66 this summer in my wife’s car, a 1931 Model A Ford (with the engine and tranny out of my old Mazda RX-7). It seems somehow appropriate to take that car instead of my Saturn.

And yes, an air crash with nothing but corporate big-shots and congresscritters aboard would be ideal, provided the flight crew survives.

24 — Whiteplight wrote at 2:22 PM on May 20:

I can appreciate that many pilots who have flown in the past have not seen non-English speaking mechanics - so far. But the witness of other posts here seem to point to a situation soon to become the reality.

I can just recall the semi-scandal airing on the MSM last week about the pilots who crashed that jet into a home with their salaries and training shortfalls.

It is still safer to fly than drive, but for how long?

25 — Whiteplight wrote at 2:30 PM on May 20:

“This is just another example of how diversity is good for the economy. You see, when an airplane crashes, paramedics, police, investigators and forensic scientists all must work at the scene. Then there are many business opportunities for funeral directors, clergy, politicians, prosecutors and counselors. All told, thousands of jobs are generated, or enhanced, when an airplane goes down. Also, let’s not forget that for each airplane that crashes, another one must be built. The benefits to the economy are great and they ripple through it on every level - from the highest paid technicians all the way down to the grave diggers. When an airplane happens to crash into an occupied building such as a school or hospital, then the economy really hits the jackpot! This is because the additional deaths bring even more jobs and rebuilding the destroyed buildings causes employment to untold thousands. So let’s all applaud diversity!!”

Posted by jewamongyou at 2:57 AM on May 20

I appreciate the sarcasm and point you make here. The problem of course is that insurance has to pay for all these losses and that would bankrupt them. That bankruptcy would cause the economy to collapse world wide. That is like AIG and every other insurance conglomerate failing simultaneously. That is the reason - the sole reason when you get to the central issue - why the loss leader economic model that personal injury attorneys, malpractice and all the rest of the long train of economic vampires that follow it that are represented in this actually force the intelligent actors in society to try to avoid it at all costs. As intelligence leaves the leaderships, the probability of your scenario - and mine - increases.

26 — Anonymous wrote at 4:54 PM on May 20:

Well, many of us have to fly for business and many enjoy traveling. To say that no one cares because YOU don’t have to fly makes you sound like an idiot.

Are you sure about who is the idiot? Why, with computer technology programs available for interactive meetings would anyone spend the money to fly? Why is traveling on a plane the best way to go? You can’t see anything. I’m really not sure who the idiot is here.

27 — Native Daughter of the Golden West wrote at 6:22 PM on May 20:

“There is also evidence that hundreds of mechanics with questionable licenses are working on aircraft in Texas.”

I am sure that the female minority immigrant physicians who mis diagnosed my fractured trochanter as “sciatica caused by pinched nerves” while refusing to x ray my hip have questionable licenses.

I was not on any county govt health system. I had Cigna PPO, an excellent insurance policy. Finally, after 4 years of hobbling around I diagnosed myself, found some WHITE MALE AMERICAN PHYSICIANS and discovered that due to a never xrayed trochanter fracture my trochanter had basically dissolved.

I’m getting a hip replacement soon, with a WHITE MALE AMERICAN ORTHO SURGEON, but who knows who will be doing the anesthesia or otherwise assisting.

I went to the diagnostic “cookbooks” as they are called and found that these female minority immigrants had failed to follow a few basic diagnostic procedures, such as “X-RAYS REQUIRED”

It is getting harder and harder to find White American male physicians under the age of 60 in California. It is all non Whites from the most corrupt Asian countries in the world where people think absolutely nothing of buying a medical school transcropt and hiring someone to take the board exams.

28 — John PM wrote at 6:44 PM on May 20:

With all due respect to Fed Up and Anonymous at 10:51 PM on May 19,

My point was to be sarcastic and ironic, in the comments that I made above yesterday at 6:43 PM. Please reread my comments, with that in mind; they were not intended to be serious in their “celebration” of diversity or its “strengths.” I apologize for any confusion on that point, sincerely.

I am convinced that racial “diversity” has been anything but a “strength” for this country; on the other hand, I am unshakably confident that it is a childish perversity that amuses a small Red elite in the USA and no other group in question, including most nonwhites who “enjoy” it beyond the usual Marxist abstractions.

All the best to you both,

John PM!

29 — Anonymous wrote at 7:17 PM on May 20:

“Sure I can see illegals turning wrenches in various car dealerships and repair shops but Delta airlines trying to save a few bucks on personnel by letting “rio grande pepe” do the service on the Pratt & Whitney simply isnt credible. Can you imagine an engine falling off over the atlantic and the FAA checking out the maintenance hangar and finding the guy in charge of the engine bolts used to work slinging tacos in Guadalajara?”

Like every other employer in America, they are under the EEOC and Judicial orders to hire only non Whites. That could very well be the reason why there are so many non English literate mechanics.

30 — Cassiodorus wrote at 8:10 PM on May 20:

At least the story has legs, as they say. Lou Dobbs had a good segment on this travesty just this evening. Dobbs and his correspondent explained openly that these are Spanish-speakers and that they’ve been hired to lower costs to the airlines.

31 — Anonymous wrote at 8:22 PM on May 20:

“The U.S.Air flight that crashed in Charlotte N.C.killing 21 was piloted by a female captain,are standards lowered for females,as well as other minorities,you bet they are,the Value Jet crash into the everglades in 1996,killing 110,featured a female pilot also”

Standards are not lowered for white females. The Value Jet crash wasn’t caused by pilot error but by an explosion of oxygen tanks in the cargo hold. Plenty of crashes have happened with male pilots. Some of smaller plane companies hire inexperienced pilots to save money.

32 — james wrote at 8:40 PM on May 20:

.(i’m sure the book is always present,iworked on air force aircraft for 21/2 years and you always had a book and alway checked it no matter how many times you did the same job i’m certain airlines are the same)

James…you have led a protected life if you believe that.

Posted by SKIP at 11:43 PM on May 19

sir,skip i agree with you the way thing are now. i’m just stating that in the mid 80’s when i were in the air force no stone was unturned when it came to aircraft maintenance it was redundent and i think the airlines were the same way,but we are becoming third world and it’s ok not to be able to read a maintenance manual.by the way i don’t fly anymore.

33 — SKIP` wrote at 9:52 PM on May 20:

This was sent to me, laughed a lot over it.
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe
sheet,” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The
mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form,
them the pilots review the gripe sheets right before the next
flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

Here are some of the actual maintenance complaints submitted by the
Qantas pilots (as marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (as
marked with an S) by the maintenance engineers.


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.


P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.


P: Something loose in the cockpit.

S: Something tightened in the cockpit.


P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on backorder.


P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.


P: Evidence of a leak on the right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.


P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume reset to a more believable level.


P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That’s what friction locks are for.


P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.


P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you’re right.


P: The number 3 engine is missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after a brief search.


P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.


P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.


P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed
And the best one saved for last……

P: Noise coming from under the instrument panel. Sounds like a
midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget.

34 — SKIP wrote at 9:55 PM on May 20:

sir,skip i agree with you the way thing are now. i’m just stating that in the mid 80’s when i were in the air force no stone was unturned

I know, I remember the 354th FG here at MBAFB grounding ALL of their A-10s because of a missing 3/8 wrench, search went on for hours. Wrench was found in back pocket of man declaring loss!!! The group went to Las Vegas when base closed, but the tech NEVER lived that down. Great people with the 354th, proud to know them.

35 — Strider wrote at 10:44 PM on May 20:

Kudos to “jewamongyou” for taking the famous Broken Window Fallacy to its ultimate conclusion (short of a nuclear detonation, that is)!

Meanwhile, some of you need to “rest your sphincters” (as Hedley Lamarr put it) and recognize satire or sarcasm when you see it. John PM’s post of the 19th was obviously pure sarcasm and he has no reason to apologize for it. I thought it was hilarious — one could almost hear some addle-minded liberal using those exact same words and not realizing how idiotic he/she/it sounded. Keep up the good work, John PM. Satirists of the world, unite!

36 — Anonymous wrote at 11:32 PM on May 20:

“4. Over 2/3 of all births in Los Angeles County are to illegal alien Mexicans on Medi-Cal , whose births were paid for by taxpayers.”

Medi-cal pays the hospitals just $1,000 while American parents or their insurance companies pay $12,000 to $14,000 for a birth

6. Over 300,000 illegal aliens in Los Angeles County are living in garages. 8. Nearly 60% of all occupants of HUD properties are illegal.

And 100 percent of the homeless are White blue eyed anglo saxon/scotch irish or black Americans whose ancestors arrived in this country 400 years ago and built this country.

My city, Santa Monica Ca. is full of homeless, about half black, half White. Santa Monica has no housing projects, but plenty of section 8 housing. Virtually all the section 8 housing is occupied by illegal aliens who work in the city’s thriving tourism, hotel and restaurant industries.

My landlord has just moved himself and his 2 boys into a very small 1 bedroom apt. His great grandparents arrived in Santa Monica in the 1880’s and built their house on the property. Successive generations inherited. When the property taxes got too much,and affirmative action hit hard, my landlord’s parents tore down the house and built the apartment building, thinking that their son and grandchildren would be ok for both income and a place to live.

He lost his job. He now works as a waiter 3 nights a week. The rents just about cover the taxes, utilities and maintance on the building. He only has the waiter job because an old friend from high school owns the restaurant. He is the only American employed in the restaurant. His sons are in middle school, but will soon move on to the hispanic gang infested public high school.

Sometimes tourists ask me directions in downtown Santa Monica. Then they start on about all the very visible homeless, many of whom are in the 60 to 80 year old range hobbling along with their canes and wheel chairs. Generally the tourists start on about “why doesn’t America have a social safety net”

So I explain that everyone of the indian illegal aliens working in the hotels and restaurants lives in local Santa Monica government housing while the American homeless are not eligible to live in for government housing because they are Americans.

37 — Fed Up wrote at 8:34 AM on May 21:

>>>My point was to be sarcastic and ironic, in the comments that I made above yesterday at 6:43 PM.

Allow me to officially apologize for my error. I should have remembered your name. I admit to having missed your irony, thinking you were one of the liberal trolls hanging on this website.

38 — Fed Up wrote at 8:37 AM on May 21:

Until we get a couple of MAJOR, MAJOR aircraft crashes, the federal government will continue to turn a blind eye to incompetent mechanics working on airliners. But predictably, the feds will use the excuse of claiming the incompetent mechanics were hired as part of an affirmative action effort. Thus the government (and airline maintenance departments) to be held blames… for trying to do the right thing.

39 — Bon, Tax Slave of the NWO wrote at 9:06 AM on May 21:

‘….The Industrial Revolution was really started in England with the development of the steam engine….”

Fed Up:

Please, give credit where credit is due. The steam engine was developed in Scotland by the brilliant mechanical engineer James Watt:

“…James Watt (19 January 1736 – 25 August 1819[1]) was a Scottish inventor and mechanical engineer whose improvements to the steam engine were fundamental to the changes brought by the Industrial Revolution…”

Watt improved an old inefficient Newcomen steam engine that required massive amounts of coal to work:

“…The Newcomen engine just barely worked, and after much experimentation Watt showed that about 80% of the heat of the steam was consumed in heating the cylinder… His critical insight was to cause the steam to condense in a separate chamber apart from the piston, and to maintain the temperature of the cylinder at the same temperature as the injected steam. He soon had a working model by 1765….”

http://tinyurl.com/2cszwe

Thus began the Industrial Revolution.

Bon

40 — Kill Your TV wrote at 9:24 AM on May 21:

“Are you sure about who is the idiot?”

Yes, I am sure. It is someone who looks at their way of living and decides that it should apply to everyone else.

Don’t lecture me on computer technology. Our company has done high end installs for the last 20 years. But maybe, instead of flying qualified personel to a site, we could teach some illegals how to do it over video conferencing.

And we are traveling to Poland on a vacation in a couple of weeks. But I am sure that looking at pictures of Poland on the internet would have been just as good as being there.

Sorry. I really wish that I could live like you do and decide for everyone else.

41 — Anonymous wrote at 12:09 PM on May 21:

And we are traveling to Poland on a vacation in a couple of weeks. But I am sure that looking at pictures of Poland on the internet would have been just as good as being there.

Not if you’re dead.

42 — John PM wrote at 8:29 PM on May 21:

To Fed Up, regarding:

“Allow me to officially apologize for my error. I should have remembered your name. I admit to having missed your irony, thinking you were one of the liberal trolls hanging on this website.”

Seriously, your apology is more than accepted; my intent was to mock being as “tolerantly” Communistic and stupid as possible and I apparently succeeded. Thus, your short burst of outrage was highly flattering in that light. Keep up the good fight Fed Up, your posts are always some of the best.

To Strider, regarding:

“I thought it was hilarious — one could almost hear some addle-minded liberal using those exact same words and not realizing how idiotic he/she/it sounded. Keep up the good work, John PM. Satirists of the world, unite!”

Thanks for the support and compliments regarding that above post. The one dead giveaway as to my intent, should have been the fact that I used words and grammar that surpassed the average kindergartner. Most of the Multi Cult trolls have a hard time meeting that standard; however, once in awhile, you do get a Marxist prodigy spewing their “thoughts” here (i.e., they seem to have hit the fourth grade between the ages of 15 and 18 at some point.)

All the best to you both,

John PM!!!


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