City Recruits Minority Lifeguards Even If They Can’t Swim

Judicial Watch, April 3, 2013

In a staggering case of affirmative action gone wild, officials in a major U.S. city are actually recruiting minorities to be lifeguards at public pools even if they’re not good swimmers. It’s all in the name of diversity.

You can’t make this stuff up. It’s a real-life story out of Phoenix, the capitol of Arizona and the nation’s sixth-largest city. It has more than 1.4 million residents and, among its official mottos is “value and respect” of diversity. {snip}

Evidently officials are willing to compromise those “effective services” at 29 public swimming pools spread throughout the city. To diversify the lifeguard force, Phoenix will spend thousands of dollars to recruit minorities even if they’re not strong swimmers, according to an official quoted in a news report. Blacks, Latinos and Asians who may not necessarily qualify can still get hired, says the city official who adds that “we will work with you in your swimming abilities.”

There’s a good reason the city is hiring lifeguards that can’t swim. Public pools are largely used by Latino and African-American kids, but most of the lifeguards are white and this creates a huge problem. “The kids in the pool are all either Hispanic or black or whatever, and every lifeguard is white and we don’t like that,” says a Phoenix official quoted in the story. She added that “the kids don’t relate; there’s language issues.”


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  • Personally, if I am drowning, I would want someone who can swim well, regardless of their color to rescue me. I always thought that lifeguards had to be certified by the Red Cross? What is good about a lifeguard that understands you but cannot swim well enough to save you?

    • So CAL Snowman

      The Red Cross is racist, didn’t you know that?

      • The__Bobster

        They were in 1945 when they counted work camp deaths at only 271,000.

      • One year when I was a kid, my sister and I took swimming lessons. I had to stop because I got ear infections. My sister continued and could not pass the requirement requiring her to swim the whole length of the pool. She ended not getting a certificate from the Red Cross to use if she were to decide to become a lifeguard. She did the best she could. But a black would end up suing the Red Cross because the requirement was raciss.

    • Duh! When they holler for help the lifeguard can call 911.

    • Nathanwartooth

      It’s not color, it’s race. Color is the wrong term because it relates skin color to race.

      If color was race then albino Africans would be called White.

    • Anon12

      Don’t you get it yet? If they are NONwhite they don’t need to know how to stinkin swim!

      BTW, I DO care what “color” a lifeguard is. White only.

      • White only, red one piece, large bouncing breasts as they run to the rescue.

        I just got an idea for a TV show ……

  • a multiracial individual

    I thought life and death jobs were free of this nonsense.

    • GeneticsareDestiny

      Nothing in America is free of this nonsense anymore.

    • QuinnTheEskimo9

      Don’t you know, non-white races trump common sense, logic, safety concerns and rationality. Death is preferable to any perceived racism from whites.

    • Greg Thomas

      Life and death jobs are especially prone to this nonsense, so American can see how “heroic” meztizos and bantus are.

  • nobody special

    Fire the white lifeguards, replace them with bantus and mestizos, then let nature take its course.

    • The__Bobster

      Afreakan Rockfish rescuing Afreakan Rockfish. Yeah, that’ll work.

    • Gerónimo Anónimo

      I think that the Apaches need to take Arizona back. They really hated Mexicans.

      Cochise, Mangas Coloradas, please come back!

      • I remember reading, in a Native American Lit course, that Geronimo would slaughter Mexicans on sight.

      • K..

        There is a very interesting story that the Apaches actually prevented development in northern Mexico for a couple hundred years.

        • America First

          It is an historical fact that the main reason the Mexicans agreed to the Gadsden Purchase was to protect their citizens and lands from the marauding Apaches and Comanches. The Mexicans were unable to do so, and permitted that large strip of land across what is now Arizona and New Mexico to become part of the U.S. to act as a buffer against these raids: they knew the U.S. would protect ITS citizens and property. Of course, that was then and this is now, and our present-day government isn’t so careful about securing the border with Mexico.

      • nobody

        Thats weird, they all look the same. They might as well be the same people. Either way they can all feel free to leave America.

  • Tim

    A lifetime on, I remember being a 16 year old lifeguard waiting for Calvin to jump off the board into the deep end. I was verbalizing to the twenty something supervisor what a truly bad idea it was, as I had seen that the boy had NO skills whatsoever. The recreation lady Cathy said that it would be good for him and we didn`t want to appear prejudiced. Well, it wasn`t good for anybody. He leapt for me, grabbed on and we both went to the bottom in his death grip. It took two military base lifeguards to pull him off me at the bottom of the pool. That was the first day I learned about doing something stupid for appearances sake. It also taught me how dangerous a swimmer rescue is….

    • QuinnTheEskimo9

      I was a WSI (water safety instructor) back in the day. Lifeguards are taught explicitly NOT to rescue flailing, desperate swimmers because they will try to use you as a stepping stone to get air or put a death grip on you resulting in two drownings. People who are desperate for air have super-human strength. The rule is to let them flail until they are too exhausted to fight and then haul them in. Worse case senario: let them drown so they don’t pull you down too.

      • Tim

        “Reach… Throw… Row… Go…”

  • we will work with you in your swimming abilities

    It’s one thing to know how to swim, it’s another thing to swim well enough to be a lifeguard. You just can’t go from no or poor swimming ability to lifeguard-grade swimming ability in a few weeks.

    We all know what will happen: Phoenix will hire the non-whites as “lifeguards,” they’ll stand around wearing lifeguard uniforms as if they are actually lifeguards, and they’ll be photographed as the token non-whites to fend off civil rights lawsuits. But they won’t be expected actually to do the work of lifeguards.

    Ironically, the University of Chicago recently ditched its swimming test for incoming freshmen, mainly because it freaked out so many blacks.

    • I wonder how blacks do when they have to swim when they join the Navy?

      • What are you? Some sort of reactionary bigot who expects the Navy to win naval battles?

        You know as well as I do that a modern Navy is just no good without diversity.

        • Secret Tribunal

          America should start over because we didn’t allow the black navy to win our independence from the brits.

      • Howard W. Campbell

        Everyone has to be able to tread water for 5 minutes and use uniform items as floatation devices. Even the sailors white cap has some use. Once you pass this test, you were considered a “third class swimmer” (or so it was called back in the 1980’s). We had a few blacks in my company, and most of them couldn’t swim to save their lives. To be fair, there were a couple of white guys who couldn’t swim either. But out of 80 or so guys, there was a major case of “disparate impact” concerning who had to go to remedial swimming at 4:30 AM. I suspect this is also the case with Marine Corps and Coast Guard basic.

      • You do not have to be able to swim to be in the Navy, regardless of what the web says. I was in the Navy for 178 days (I med-sepped out) and do not recall a swimming test except when I applied for SEALs. A rockfish latched onto me from behind when I was in the water and took me under and I failed and was not allowed to retest. And that was when I knew the military hated white people.

        Can I swim? I passed the Red Cross certification for lifeguard a year before I was eligible to become a lifeguard. The instructor didn’t know my age but assumed because of my grade, and I didn’t know you had to be of age.

      • Erasmus

        Comparatively fewer blacks were in the Navy vs. the army or the Marines. Back then you HAD to know how to swim. Things may have changed now with our “kinder” “gentler” “more enlightened” society.

    • josh

      Any o dem ligeguards be whiwte womens? No doubt the bklack lifeguards will be kepp busy trying to get dates. “Little Shitavious is drowning! ” “You take care o dat,Whitey,I be busy…”

      • khesanh67-68

        The Worst Attempt
        At Swimming Ever – YouTube

  • Matt

    This is insane! I worked as a lifeguard when I was attending university, and to be one, you had to have first aid training, CPR training, AR training, and regularly recertify your National Lifeguard certification and your Bronze Cross certification. In these recertifications, you were expected to be able to identify medical situations, rescue ‘victims’ from deep water, deal with spinal injuries, and show that you were capable of swimming to a person and then towing that person back within a span of no more than one minute. That’s why lifeguards are called ‘lifeguards’ – because you depend on them to save your life in aquatic environments! If kids (or adults) disrespected the lifeguards and flaunted pool rules, we’d kick them out! Once I had to threaten to call the cops, but that worked, and the troublemakers left.

    Glad I don’t work as a lifeguard now! I would hate to have all the responsibility for rescuing and treating people up to me, while my fellow unqualified lifeguards hung about in the shadows unable to assist. That also makes for a dangerous aquatic environment. Like cops and fire fighters, lifeguards need to have backup, work as a team, and stand their ground in solo situations.

    • The__Bobster

      AA means that two employees must be hired to do a job – a White one to do the job and the other to serve as furniture.

      • TheCogitator

        No, the black one would be the supervisor and be paid double what the white person made. How can you get anymore fair than that?

        • Secret Tribunal

          Fire the White and hire another black, that’s the next step toward “fairness”.

    • josh

      A BLACK LIFEGUARD!!! Too funny!!

      • Secret Tribunal

        Next, White country clubs will have their licenses revoked unless they have black Diversity AA lifeguards, and the White teen girls won’t be allowed to wear anything by the skimipiest string bikinis.

      • Anonymous

        Generally one needs to guard one’s own life against Blacks.

    • Greg Thomas

      Those requirements are now deemed “racist.”

    • Erasmus

      Also lifeguarded in college and there were a lot of criteria you had to meet before they’d even look at your CV.

      My guess is that Pedro and D’Looshus think it would be kewl to be a lifeguard after watching too many episodes of Baywatch. No doubt they also think it’s because of racism that there are few minority lifeguards.

  • David Ashton

    Deaf piano tuners.
    Dumb TV announcers.
    Blind airline pilots.
    Limbless combat troops.
    Any other ideas?

    • So CAL Snowman

      Mute opera singers

      • Jim Bob Lassiter

        How about impotent male porn stars?

    • Black philosophers & mathematicians ?

      • Secret Tribunal

        Sharpton is their Socrates, and Jackson has more money than he can count, so he’s out as math whiz.

      • MBlanc46

        I was a maths and philosophy student in my youth, and I don’t know of a single black philosopher or mathematician.

        • convairXF92

          Blackwell, of “Blackwell optimality” fame, is black. The concept is part of Operations Research (applied optimzation, used for things like finding the shortest production time or maximum profit or how to best locate an ambulance station). It took a pure-math mindset to discover Blackwell optimality, though.

          Not to say that “Internet visibility” indicates the real numbers of things, but on the Net I see at least twice as many fakers (like, those who can do high school math and sophomore college math and think that qualifies them to attack the Riemann Hypothesis) among black “math people” than I see genuinely productive black mathematicians. (Those with some interest in number theory and want to see something pitiful, look up the entries by “JSH”–whose independent blog “My Math” has been taken down–on sci.math. JSH is black. I’ve seen various others like him. My impression of JSH and his ilk is that they want terribly badly to be cultured and produce like white people, but just can’t understand they don’t have the chops.)

          • MBlanc46

            I worked for an operations research firm one summer when I was an undergrad, so I understand what the field is about, although I’m not familiar with Blackwell optimality. I don’t doubt that there have been some black mathematicians and this guy is apparently one of them (Hermann Cain was a math major, for that matter). There are probably some black philosophers, too (I believe that the writer Charles Johnson has a philosophy degree). But none of the great contributors to those fields (Pythagoras, Abel, Galois, Gauss, Euler, Riemann, Hardy, Godel, Plato, Aristotle, Aquinas, Hobbes, Descartes, Locke, Hume, Kant, Hegel, to name a few) has been black.

          • MoonBeamWatcher

            Agree, alll equal in G-ds eye.
            Even a busted clock is right twice a day . . .

      • David Ashton


    • David Brims

      Mulatto, muslim, marxist president !! Oh sorry, we’ve got that already

    • josh

      How about a black President? Oh wait that’s a bit TOO silly.

      • nobody

        Well technically he isn’t black, he’s the devil.

      • MoonBeamWatcher

        REALISTICALY Obama is the FIRST Arab American
        (yuck) Commander and Chief . . . (can’t say president!)

    • LastBastionOfHope

      Limbless baseball players, brainless neurosurgeons, spineless politicians…oh wait we already have the last one.

      • MBlanc46

        There was the one-armed outfielder during World War II. He played for Bill Veeck’s minor league team, but I don’t recall whether he made it to the majors.

    • Flaxen-headed Strumpet

      Convicted felon home security system installers?

      • MikeofAges

        Don”t jump to conclusions. The ex-cons I have met have been in favor of law and order. You might want to know, they also take a particularly dim view of property crimes.

      • Just wait …..

        Vivent Field Service Professional – (Chicago, IL)

        Job LocationChicago, Illinois, United States
        Position TypeFull-Time/Regular
        Salary11.00 – 14.00 USD

        What do you think you are getting for that price in Chicago?

        • $14 an hour might be okay in a lot of places, but it’s peanuts in an expensive city like Chicago.

          • My point exactly, and these are the people installing internet control to all aspects of your home.

        • Luis

          I visited the site you posted and read the job description. If I had to make book, I’d say mestizos, and maybe Bantus. I see where it says, …”you must be able to pass a drug test”…

          That makes it dicey for mestizos though, but it eliminates the haole college student.

      • Luis

        Bantu lesbian child care workers?

    • Michael_C_Scott

      We already have sub-literate reporters and an Attorney General who thinks white people don’t have civil rights.

      • MoonBeamWatcher

        Think Barny Frank is a TSA Screener!?

    • StillModerated

      Stupid teachers.
      Colorblind electricians.
      Clumsy drivers.

    • MoonBeamWatcher

      Transgendered in the military!?
      Hag Haggle wants em to join . . . I ask: If your confused about
      who you are . . . should you be behind me with a loaded gun?

  • LastBastionOfHope

    How much does a kid have to relate? All lifeguards do is blow a whistle, direct people away from certain areas, shake their heads “no”, etc. I wonder if we will hear of the inevitable story soon where a black child drowns because the black lifeguard couldn’t swim fast enough. We are already hearing from the FDNY that they are the worst recruits they can remember due to affirmative action. Who cares about skill anymore? All that matters is color these days. If you happen to be white, back of the line for you.

    • Ryan Kennedy

      You beat me to the punch. As a kid I went swimming all the time and I can’t remember ever taking to a lifeguard. They sat stone-faced in that high-chair and scanned the pool like some bird of prey looking for a rabbit to show itself. I never “related” to them, hell I never even spoke to them.

      • QuinnTheEskimo9

        I was afraid of them. They had the ultimate power to remove me and my cousins, or worse, take away our summer passes– from the city pool for doing belly flops, running, cannon balls near adults, etc.
        Lifeguards ruled with an iron fist and had the last word.

  • ye ol’ swampyankee

    Come on now. . .
    In reality they are not black swimmers, but black splashers,never venturing out above belly height. Only when they try to become black swimmers do they require the services of a white lifeguard who really can swim!

    • ncpride

      How true! I really needed that chuckle tonight. But, well…. since they don’t want qualified Whites to be lifegaurds, then so be it. Let them all drown in their stupidity.

      • QuinnTheEskimo9

        Let their gene pool be thinned and culled.

      • Alexandra

        I’d say we’d have some Darwin Award nominees, but since they breed like rabbits….

    • The__Bobster

      Bantus can drown in a birdbath.

      • Unperson

        That’s why they’re known as “African Rockfish.”

    • Tyrone Ooks

      Swimming requires a lot of work. The blacks would rather drown than put forth the effort.

    • Gerónimo Anónimo

      They also enjoy groping the girls in the shallow end of public pools.

    • Erasmus

      That’s why that movie about a black swim team was so funny. Black swimmers, skiers, mountain climbers, outdoorsmen, kayakers, Olympic divers, gymnasts, ice skaters…lots of things Eric Holder can try to make fair to them but that mother nature never intended them do.

    • nobody

      Nature hates black people. Nature made them too dumb to swim or build a boat so they would never leave Africa.

  • Ok, you white Arizonians, it’s time for you to grew a pair and cut off YOUR tax money from an organization that does not represent you.
    Also, it’s a good time to hire a lawyer and somehow get rich off of this incident.

    • Secret Tribunal

      Obama’s National Civilian Security Force is a tax collection agency. When the knock on the door comes, it won’t be Whites.

    • Michael_C_Scott

      They won’t; whites will just continue moving to gated communities with swimming pools in either their townhouse complexes or their own back yards in suburbs like Tempe.

  • So CAL Snowman

    ““The kids in the pool are all either Hispanic or black or whatever, and
    every lifeguard is white and we don’t like that,” says a Phoenix
    official quoted in the story”

    The people in the big cities and the people flooding our nation are all either Hispanic or black or whatever, and every politician is black or Hispanic and we dont like that.

    I would say that I endorse this policy (blacks and latinos should only have the FINEST care) but of course when some black or Latino kid drowns and the city is sued guess who gets to pay up?

  • sbuffalonative

    When a minority kid drowns and the lawsuit is filed, they’ll change the policy.

    The same minorities that pushed to end the requirement will be the ones to jump on it for the financial gain.

    • Chris

      I was thinking the same thing. Not only are they putting the kids in danger, but the lifeguard is likely to drown as well, and his or her parents will sue.

    • Dr. X

      “When a minority kid drowns and the lawsuit is filed, they’ll change the
      policy.” No, they won’t. They’ll take taxpayer dollars from hardworking whites to pay for an out-of-court settlement with the dead kid’s mother, who will have been ululating about “racism” on the 6 o’clock news every night, and as part of the settlement they’ll announce a policy to be extra-sensitive to the needs of a “diverse” population. Two years after that the mother and her scumbag boyfriend will have squandered the money and will be again be in the news after getting arrested for selling drugs, check forgery, or welfare fraud.

    • QuinnTheEskimo9

      When a minority kid drowns, all the pools in Phoenix will be closed. That will be the new policy.

  • pcmustgo

    Non-white Non-swimmers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Some time back, an AR regular used “non-swimmers” as a synonym for “black.”

  • Who Me?

    “the kids don’t relate; there’s language issues.”

    Of course there’s language issues. White lifeguards don’t stand there and scream, “Hey, m***** f*****, don’t do that or I’ll pop a cap in yo a$$!” But it’s all okay, White people will not patronize these swimming pools, and the non-swimming Bantu “lifeguards” will “tragically” fail to save their drowning fellow Bantus, (and maybe a few of the “lifeguards will drown too.) No great problem there as far as I can see. Most blacks don’t get out in the water any deeper than their knees anyway.

    • No great problem there as far as I can see.
      Neither do I.

    • Erasmus

      I don’t like swimming in pools where there are a lot of Mexicans and bantus. Short of defecation, they release their body secretions in the water with few qualms and lack other manners as well.

      • nobody

        When blacks and mestizos are in the pool it just looks like floating excrement bobbing around. Also smells strikingly similar.

    • Gerónimo Anónimo


      “Most blacks don’t get out in the water any deeper than their knees anyway.”

      The minimum depth of public pools should be six feet at the shallow end and fifteen at the deep end; just as the basketball net of NCAA and NBA courts should be raised to fifteen feet with a rim that breaks away when grasped. That should eliminate the simian acrobatic stunts and get us back to what basketball used to be.

    • nobody

      “HEY M***** F*****” LOLOLOLOL

  • Libnomore

    This sounds familiar. I had a 30-year career with the San Francisco Fire Department. All firefighters stationed at the four of San Francisco’s fire stations that were closest to Ocean Beach and some SF Bay beaches inside the Golden Gate all had to take swim training, ocean rescue technique training, CPR training and regular certifications. I shouldn’t have said “all” had to take the training. Blacks were excused.

    • brengunn

      Why? Are they really not into swimming or what? And how can the department get away with such stuff?

      • Erasmus

        Something about their body density. They do not float as well as whites. Hadn’t you ever wondered about those headlines announcing a boat overturning in Africa 20 yards from the shore and hundreds drowning?

        This could also explain why there were comparatively few blacks in the Navy vs. the Army or the Marines. They couldn’t pass the swim test.

    • MBlanc46

      Seriously? How could they even try to justify such a thing?

      • libnomore

        There was no need for those who control the socio/political goings on the San Francisco to justify their actions. The San Francisco political power structure is solidly ultra-liberal to such an extent that it can and has ignored the 1964 Civil Rights Act that mandated there shall be no privilege or discrimination for or against SF employees regardless of ethnicity, national origin or race.

        This liberal mind-set was fully exposed in 1972 when the San Francisco Fire Department was ordered to hire 2 dozen non-white minority men even though they did not sit for the general knowledge written exam that had been standard hiring practice for decades. After a year in the field they were to be “evaluated” to determine their competence. That “evaluation” never took place.

        These special two dozen were supposedly chosen because they had come from “disadvantaged” backgrounds. This turned out to be a hollow excuse when it was it was revealed two had attended UC Berkeley, one had graduated from USF and some were sons of prominent local MDs and business men. Another was the son of a prominent real estate company owner.

        Within a few years, gift promotions were awarded to some of these disadvantaged fellows rather than to the white firemen who had made higher test scores in the promotional examinations. Court challenges to this unfair promotional scheme were tossed out of court by a “judge” who had formerly been an ACLU attorney. She had been appointed to the bench by Jimmy Carter. I could go on and on, but I’m sure you get the picture.

  • bigone4u

    Lifeguards ofen work in teams, so once again a competent white person will do all the work while a minority gets paid the same salary while contributing s**t to the team. Then, if the arrangement leads to a drowning person being saved the minority lifeguard program will be given the credit, but if the person does actually drown, the white lifeguards will be fired and sued. Welcome to Amerika 2013,

  • anarchyst

    Neither blacks nor simians can swim . . . just sayin’

  • David Brims

    Blacks don’t swim, look at the Olympics. They’ve got 20 % more muscle density thus making them heavier in water.

    • Mr Plankton

      Eric Musambani from Ecuadorial Guinea is freaking amazing [/sarcasm off]

      • MekongDelta69

        That is one of the FUNNIEST videos I’ve EVER seen!

        No exaggeration. No embellishment. I kid you not. That made my week. 10 Thumbs Up!

      • Another 10 yards and they would have bad to send in lifeguards.
        Flailing rockfish.
        Been a long time but I could have a new career …. Olympic swimmer for EG.
        I know I could pound out a 1:10 at least.

  • professor

    Let’s”re drowning and a lifeguard from the edge or the shore stands there and throws you a small voodoo doll with a mini life jacket on and a chicken head sewn on its hand. That should make it feel better.

  • Grim Jim

    I fully support this one.

  • Looks to me like Phoenix is jealous of Chicago and is starting it own Ghetto Lottery.

    …. because all the Rockfishs’ families will sue and win when they drown.

    • Anon12

      Phoenix is liberal and minority for the most part.

      • QuinnTheEskimo9

        So if they’re hiring minority lifeguards those lifeguards should be white, right?

  • brengunn

    “The kids in the pool are all either Hispanic or black or whatever, and
    every lifeguard is white and we don’t like that,” says a Phoenix
    official quoted in the story. She added that “the kids don’t relate; there’s language issues.”

    Once again the champions of diversity are spouting the pros of homogeneity unknowingly. Does this ever enter their minds? That all their pronouncements similar to this are showing the fundamental flaws of diversity. Does it ever cross their minds that white people may struggle to relate to blacks and browns, or does that not matter?

  • Tim

    Working the pool with a lifeguard that can`t swim, would be like working Happy Hour with a bartender that chain smokes…

  • brengunn

    The kids in the pool are all either Hispanic or black or whatever

    This begs the question, if blacks and Hispanics are the major patrons of the pool, surely there are locals that are proficient swimmers due to learning to swim at the same pool?

    • Swimming in a municipal swimming pool and lifeguard-grade swimming ability is as different as night and day. Most “swimming” in a public pool isn’t really swimming, when you get right down to it, it’s lounging around in water.

      • Secret Tribunal

        This story is proof of how Diversity is finishing off post White America. If you are drowning, you are supposed to keep drowning as long a black has his AA make work job.

        After you drown, the White elites who run the program will say “see, we need to hire still more lifeguards because we haven’t done enough”.

    • josh

      They dont need lifeguards,they need pooper scoopers.

  • fakeemail

    I do so enjoy hearing reports from the Office of the Handicapper General.

  • Lost

    Good…it sounds like we will be having to deal with a lot less crime in future as the dead can’t rob, rape and kill.

  • josh

    If the swimmers are black and latino I say hire whoever the hell you WANT to!!LOL!! Why even have life guards?

  • Luca

    In lifeguard school and during “drown-proof” survival training, in the years before political correctness was a cult, our instructors flat out told the black guys to forget about being a lifeguard and if they wanted to survive in the water they better pay close attention.

    They were told they have denser muscles and thicker bones, including skulls, that make them sink like a bag of rocks.

    I admit however, it was kind of fun watching them not follow directions, go spastic, thrash about and scream for a white instructor to save them.

  • CJ Haze

    “The kids in the pool are all either Hispanic or black or whatever, and every lifeguard is white and we don’t like that,” says a Phoenix official quoted in the story. She added that “the kids don’t relate; there’s language issues.

    There is language issues. Anyone blessed with the powers of experience and deduction here?

    • Greg Thomas

      Yeah, but what’s the use.

  • khesanh67-68

    It only stands to reason that if they’d make people firemen who aren’t up to the work of fighting fires, ploicemen who are up to the work of policing, soldiers who are up to soldiering, they’d think nothing of making lifeguards who can’t swim.

  • If blacks don’t float, I guess that makes water racist too.

    • Gerónimo Anónimo

      Only the White water.

      • David Ashton

        Space is Black, so where are the Black Spacemen?

    • Erasmus

      If blacks don’t float, I guess that makes water racist too.

      And therefore they can’t be witches because the water has not rejected them. Everyone knows that only witches float.

      • Now you have me scratching my head about the buoyancy of Witch Doctors (who must be a Witch that went to Muti college?).

  • NYB

    Teachers, police and storeowners have known this for years.

    People don’t like the exercise of authority when it comes from another race. We don’t like working for other races, taking direction from other races, or being told what to do by other races.

    The growing number of all-white sports teams and elite military units may be a reflection of this, as are the parallel black and Hispanic exclusive clubs and associations.

  • Anon12

    Let bllack kids have black lifeguards. Let Mexican kids have mexican lifeguards. Separate pools for all! Let Whites have their own pools and lifeguards, the way it used to be. Problem solved. See how easy that was?

    • LaSantaHermandad

      Brilliant! Segregation today. Segregation tomorrow. Segregation forever.

      Short of armed conflict, that’s the only way.

    • Secret Tribunal


      Allowing Whites to have anything White will only serve to perpetuate harmful and racist White privilege.

      We can’t fundamentally transform Amerika while we allow White privilege to run amok.

  • Rockfish Jackson

    It is a well known fact that none of the great apes can swim. They have too much bone density and a high center of gravity which tends to make them sink head first. Also the flat-flared nostrils are not well suited for keeping water from flooding into the nose when submerged. Apparently some Orangutans have been taught to swim, but they don’t do it well, don’t like it, and never do it in the wild.
    I predict some real hillarity coming from this one when they have a bunch of mud ducks drowning and the spoonbill lifeguard drops in the pool (assuming he’s not off drinking 40’s and smoking blunts, gnomesain?). It’ll be a great rockfish season this year!

  • Wait till a kid drowns because the Bantu lifeguard can’t save them, and the parents sue for the ghetto lottery. What will be the defense? “But but, we wanted your kids to have lifeguards they could RELATE to!”

  • MikeS

    “The kids in the pool are all either Hispanic or black or whatever, and
    every lifeguard is white and we don’t like that,” says a Phoenix
    official quoted in the story. She added that “the kids don’t relate;
    there’s language issues.”


    That’s fine. The White lifeguards will just fish their lifeless bodies out of the pool at closing time and put them by the trash cans where they can be picked up by the family. There, problem solved. Next.

  • blitzen51

    I am a white male and a very poor swimmer. I grew up in Jersy City NJ where there wasnt many places to swim. The Hudson River was too polluted and the only city pool we called the “inkwell” because nothing white came out of it!!!

    • Tim

      There`s always Vegas. It might help,,,even now.

  • Q-ship

    As most of the swimmers are likely blacks or browns, I rather like the “thin the herd” mentality here. If any of the diversity hires actually get in the pool, they better hope there are actually a few white swimmers there to save their a**.

  • Well this is the year for all sorts of new apefirmative action programs. We have affirmative action in banking as Eric “My People” holder threatens big money lenders with discrimination lawsuits if they don’t give blacks more gibs. Hes also forcing employers to forgo the criminal background checks on blacks for employment or be sued for discrimination. Now it looks like we have this. Its a win win though since most of the blacks that cant swim will be guarding the lives of other blacks that cant swim. I think it will be a net gain for us.

    • Secret Tribunal

      What do ook and eek mean?

  • Secret Tribunal


    Just saw TV commercial of two upscale White woman sitting alone together in nice restaurant and talking about planning for retirement (that’s so White, right?).

    I was shocked, saddened, and disappointed that they hadn’t invited their black Diversity Opportunity Hire friend from back at the office, you know, the one who lets her nappy wool grow out “natural” to join them so she could and add timely, witty, authentic, and crucial advice that saves the day, just like blacks do in all the movies, as well be there to serve as an anti racism monitor who holds the Whites accountable for their unearned White privilege; said friend, simply because of her Civil Rights blackness, serves as a vital and much needed FedGov Affirmative Action Agent of Transformative Social Change.

    The time has come for everyone involved with that commercial to undergo the NAACP’s Deep Therapy and Sensitivity Training. I’ll sign up just to help me overcome the damage done to my spirit from seeing such an outdated relic of the shameful past.

  • Tim

    Lifeguarding at the Public Pool used to be like having your Beach Boy ticket punched. Now I wouldn`t want to work there much less my kid if I had one…

    • Public pools are now just public baths.

      • Anon12

        Same thing in Frisco….

  • François

    “… says a Phoenix official quoted in the story. She added that “the kids don’t relate; there’s language issues.”
    What an idiot! Language issues? First of all, those Latino kids should have learned to speak English!
    Plus, this is not about “relating”. This is about life and death! A lifeguard has to be able to rescue a kid in distress in the swimming pool! How can a lifeguard do that, if they’re not good enough a swimmer?
    I had already had it, with AA. But this is stupid, stupid, stupid!
    I honestly had no idea it woud get this bad, with AA in America.

  • Mean and hateful guest

    Best way to clear a publik pool for a sinkers check?–Toss in about a dozen large size Baby Ruth candy bars and blow the whistle.

    • Svigor


  • Svigor

    Another hilarious headline from the Amren annals. Too precious.

  • MekongDelta69

    She added that “the kids don’t relate; there’s language issues.”

    I sure hope they can relate to drowning.

  • Jefferson

    [QUOTE]She added that “the kids don’t relate; there’s language issues.”[/QUOTE]

    Why are there language issues ? Do most of the kids who use the public pools in Phoenix happen to be illegal immigrants ?

  • jay11

    She added that “the kids don’t relate; there’s language issues.”
    But when we use the same logic that they are using, that white kids need white teachers, lifeguards etc that they can ‘relate’ to the non-whites and leftists scream racism. How is it that we can be supervised by non-whites, but they cannot be supervised by whites?

  • NeanderthalDNA

    She added that “the kids don’t relate; there’s language issues.”


    So…they gonna put these weak swimmers at minority pools? Maybe not such a terrible idea…

    But of course if yer White and a good swimmer and paid out of your own pocket to get certified to be a lifeguard…

    Eff you whitey! We duh gubbamint gonna take yer parent’s tax money an’ hire us sum bruddas and chicanos even if dey cant swim!


    • Michael_C_Scott

      What sane white person would want to dive into “water” that black and mestizo brats have been urinating into every day?

  • QuinnTheEskimo9

    Are they also hiring minorities as doctors for the city’s emegency rooms? No medical license needed. After all, in Phoenix, skin color is more important than whether or not they are trained and certified to do the job.

    Black lifeguards who can’t swim watching over black kids who can’t swim. What could possilby go wrong? After the first 20 or so drownings, white racism will be blamed and all the cities pools will be closed, just to make it fair.

  • Joel W

    someone call guiness. this has got to be the most idiotic idea of all time idiotic ideas. cant wait til mid summer to hear of some updates on how wonderful diversity is working out when people’s lives are at risk. damn bizarro world.

    • Sloppo

      Racial quotas endanger lives all the time. This isn’t so different than the risks created by less qualified minority policemen, firemen, doctors, etc..

  • Barrack Osama

    I agree with the article. Take it a step further, and note that the populace of this country can’t relate to its President.

    • Charles Edward Lincoln III

      Now that’s a valid point. Let’s fire everyone in government that we can’t relate to—it’s about time. From my perspective that will leave about one or two maybe three people in the Senate and possibly not that many in the house, and they’ll definitely have to call special elections to do anything with the executive branch or, hey, maybe just leave it vacant for a few years… things might improve..

  • Sloppo

    Moral of the story: It’s bad enough if a bantu child drowns, but it’s worse if a bantu child is saved by a white lifeguard that he or she can’t relate to. Many ignorant white lifeguards think they’re just there to save people.

    • 5n4k33y35

      I think that is probably the sentiment of the American black “community” as a whole. Individually, many (but not all) of them would rather not lose their own children than have them saved by a white lifeguard, but generally speaking, they’d rather a child drown than be saved by a white lifeguard.

      • Sloppo

        Well … thank goodness the only person I’ve saved from drowning was a white guy. I can’t imagine complaining about being saved from drowning, but it’s probably one of those black things that white guys like me just can’t understand.

  • Fighting_Northern_Spirit

    Let me translate this for you guys from liberalese: “language issues” = minority attitude issues when it comes to obeying authority exercised by a White person, especially a White male.

  • mobilebay

    “there’s language issues?” Think maybe all parties concerned could learn the word “Help!” accompanied by waving of arms and thrashing about in the water?

  • Shawn_thefemale

    The kids in the pool are all either Hispanic or black or whatever, and every lifeguard is white and we don’t like that,”
    I’m pretty sure the lifeguards don’t care much for it, either.
    The idea of even entering the water and particularly mouth-to-mouth under those conditions makes me cringe.

    • Maybe this new push for hands-free CPR has more to do with people’s fears of joining their mouths with diseased blacks.

  • Comfortably Numb

    After the first long day in the sun, the NAM lifeguards won’t show up again. Seriously. Last summer, my NAM coworker’s 17-year old son worked part-time for the summer at the City pool as a lifeguard. The boy told his mom he never wanted to do that again, “it’s too hot!”

  • Michael_C_Scott

    So Shitavious and Manuel both drown. How is this a bad thing?

  • 48224

    Wake up whitey.

  • Anon12

    Off the subject a little…

    This White guy should have never “related” to this nonwhite wife of his…..

    • Charles Edward Lincoln III

      Oh come on now, John & Lorena Bobbitt were a “normal” white couple…from Manassas, Virginia no less. nut cases everywhere. Life is neither easy nor fair, but I think it is fair to say that a huge percentage of the White American population has become morally and ethically debased, degenerate, and downright disgusting. When we look at how “our race has lost control of the country”, we have to keep in mind that it is in large part our Race’s own damn fault.

      I had to go to Wikipedia for some of the details of the Bobbitt case:
      “However, when Lorena Bobbitt was arrested the night of June 23, 1993, she told the police, “He always have orgasm [sic], and he doesn’t wait for me to have orgasm. He’s selfish.”[4] John Bobbitt denied the allegations of abuse; however, when he was cross-examined, his statements often conflicted with known facts, severely weakening the prosecution’s case.”

      “After seven hours of deliberation, the jury found Lorena not guilty due to insanity causing an irresistible impulse to sexually wound her husband. As a result, she could not be held liable for her actions.[5][dead link] Under state law, the judge ordered Lorena to undergo a 45-day evaluation period at Central State Hospital, located in Petersburg, Virginia, after which she would be released.
      In 1995, after six years of marriage, Lorena and John divorced.”

      Amazing what a plea of insanity will get you, in certain circumstances.

      • David Ashton

        Have you changed your email? Just say Yes or No.
        I tried to follow up your invitation re “Aryan” heroes, but the message came back.

      • Anon12

        Oh come on now, John & Lorena Bobbitt were a “normal” white couple…

        Really? You sure about that? I KNOW Lorena was NOT White.


    Remember the drowned kid that was found in the public pool, he was missing for two days, here we go again

    • It was a 30 something woman who took the kids to the pool. See my link above.

  • Michael_C_Scott

    When Shitavious or Precious drowns, the city will settle out of court for a huge amount, because after all, the payoff will only be tax money that white people had to work to earn.

  • Greg Thomas

    “The kids in the pool are all either Hispanic or black or whatever, and every lifeguard is white and we don’t like that,” says a Phoenix official quoted in the story. She added that “the kids don’t relate; there’s language issues.”

    In other words, most Whites do not speak spanish or jive. The White hating, diversity zealots do not even try to hide their racism any longer.Public swimming pools are hazardous to the health of White Americans. This confirms it.

  • Doesn’t anybody remember this rockfish that was in the rockpond for two days before being found:

    Authorities say body found in public pool went undetected for days

    • Michael_C_Scott

      The pool was described as “cloudy” in the article, which is pretty much what I would expect from a pool used by African’ts and cleaned by African’ts. The water must have been very “cloudy” if nobody noticed a dead body 12 feet down for several days! The point that needs to be made is the rest of us have a word for “cloudy” water with urine and dead things in it: we call it “sewage” and we don’t go swimming in it.

  • Fairness now

    It’s only fair ! Whites don’t want blacks living next door or going to their schools. Blacks shouldn’t have to look at white lifeguards when they’re having fun swimming. It’s just fair.

  • StillModerated

    I vote we give the City of Phoenix EEOC office a Darwin Award.

  • race realist

    Black kid, Yo muffuggah I be drownin’… White lifegurd, What ? Who cares, who the hell would want to go in the water after blacks were swimming in there anyway ? Disgusting !!

  • nobody

    This is kind of like hiring a tattoo artist who never even drew a picture in his life. Or a driver who never operated a motor vehicle. Or someone to do your taxes who failed math and dropped out of high school.

  • MoonBeamWatcher

    Barny Frank is a TSA Screener!