Why Black Women Do Not Respect Black Men

Crystal Evans, Men, August 28, 2009

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That black women are not as domesticated and docile as white women and that we black women do not know how to treat our men. We have gargantuan desires, expectations and wishes from our men and when our anticipations are not met, we make our spouses lives miserable.

The denigration of the black man’s image and relevance dates back to the socialization of the black woman. I can remember as a child that my mother inculcated my sisters and i to avoid relationships with black men because they would definitely cause me irreparable, emotional damage. She asserted that they would impregnate me and desert me. Use me, abuse me, ill treat me and abandon me.

My mother contended that black men were irresponsible fathers, substandard caregivers, cheap breadwinners (if any at all), lousy husbands and mates. She contended that they were the worst communicators, and lacked the capacity to compromise, reason without violence and to be civil. She told my three sisters and I to marry a white man. He will be a good husband to you and an excellent father to your children.

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To be frank with you, my mother has been proven right thus far. I have been with two black men and they have made my life a living hell. {snip} They were not pitched black. They were more like coloureds. They were the ‘coco butter’ complexion black men, the ones that look more like Chris Brown (befitting analogy). They were not from the ghetto and they have been exposed to education and the finer things in life which I assumed would have engendered some changes in their thought processes and general behaviors but obviously not.

It is difficult for any woman to have any respect for black men when most (I said most not all my detractors) are not standing up to their responsibilities. I have no respect norr regard for any man who does not take care of his family or exhibits conduct that are worthy of emulations by my children. {snip}

Conclusively, the reason why we have no respect for our men is because they have no respect for themselves. They have no knowledge nor understanding of what their roles are within a family. They do not understand that when they conceive a child that it does not end there, that they should be part of its upbringing and maintenance. Most black men are in part sperm donors and bed room racklers. They think bragging about the scores of children that they have dispersed all over the place denotes good fatherhood and that women are therapy valves for them to vent their inadequacies and insecurities.

Our men have let us down. To be honest the only reason why we even cohort with them is because of this primal mammalian need to have sex and our instinctual desire for companionship.

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{snip} But black men please do not give those reasons for not dating black women. Because we all now that a good black man is difficult to find!

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