Report: Honduran Immigrant Wanted for Rape of 4-Year-Old

New Orleans authorities are searching for what local media illuminatingly call a “man” — 27-year-old Honduran immigrant Gerson Rodriguez, wanted for raping a 4-year-old.

The headline reads, “Man wanted, accused of raping 4-year-old child in Jefferson Parish,” and the story gives no other information besides that Rodriguez was last seen driving a blue Nissan pickup truck with the Louisiana license plate X961460.

Readers can refer to best-selling author Ann Coulter’s handy list for decoding immigrant sex crime cover-ups in her latest book, ¡Adios America!: 

Usually, the only way to tell if a crime story involves an immigrant is if:
1. The crime involves a uniquely perverse sexual assault, such as gang rape, child rape, or incest;
2. The rapist is shocked that anyone thinks he did something wrong;
3. A woman is involved in the rape or the cover-up;
4. The rapist’s name would not be found in a phonebook from the 1960s;
5. Newspapers informatively refer to the rapist in their headlines as: “Man.”

One, four, five — check, check, check. {snip}