Miami’s Federal Jail Overrun With Strippers Posing as Paralegals, Lawyers Say

Michael Miller, Miami New Times, November 29, 2011

Stripteases, sexual favors, booze, porn mags, and fat stacks of cash would be run-of-the-mill in many Miami strip clubs. But at downtown’s maximum security Federal Detention Center?

Multiple attorneys interviewed by Riptide say the FDC visitor rooms have been taken over by South American pole dancers posing as paralegals for wealthy drug lords inside. Lawyers hired by the accused narco dons allegedly list the scantily clad women as “legal assistants,” and the FDC lets them in. Meanwhile, attorneys who refuse to go along risk losing their clients to lawyers with busty beauties on staff.

“They take off their tops and let the guys touch them,” veteran defense attorney Hugo Rodriguez says. “The majority of these young, very attractive women are noncitizens brought in exclusively for the purposes of visiting the FDC. Any lawyer can sign a form and designate a legal assistant. There is no way of verifying it. The process is being abused.”

The accusations are difficult to prove. An FDC spokeswoman declined to comment, and prison officials refused Riptide’s requests for any incident reports on faux paralegals being tossed from the facility.

{snip}

“Everyone knows about it,” says a private investigator who is familiar with the FDC and asked not to be named. “We call them the ‘little hoochie mamas’ . . . They are making a mockery out of the prison system here.”

Among the offenses allegedly committed by so-called paralegals: smuggling in a Playboy, feeding alcohol to an inmate by slipping a straw through a grate, and sneaking in $3,000 inside a purse.

In a scene straight out of a porno, one woman was caught on video stripping for an inmate in the jail’s Special Housing Unit, attorneys say. {snip}

{snip}

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  • Anonymous

    The wisest sentence on immigration I ever read was the following: “When you have enough Mexicans, you have Mexico.” That one line began a profound change in my attitudes and opinions. Of course it applies all across the board, including these monstrous Latin American gangsters. Miami is turning irrevocably into a 3rd world sewer. (BTW I saw the beloved Marco Rubio on Fox the other day. What a disgusting waste of space! )

  • Question Diversity

    In related news about immigration, jails and South Florida:

    http://goo.gl/oBE5d

    I think I can fill in the rest of the blanks. We know why the open borders rabble is opposed, because they don’t want immigration enforcement at all. But the motivation for people who are of like mind to myself to be opposed to this new detention facility is fairly easy to discern. Look at what happens in many rural Missouri towns that are near relatively new state prisons — A lot of blacks from St. Louis and Kansas City are sent there to do time, and their ghetto relatives move to the towns to be close to their “loved ones.” Southwest Ranches seems to be one of the last majority white semi-affordable inland areas south of Fort Lauderdale. Should a big new special hoosegow for illegal aliens open up, Southwest Gardens becomes a Spanish-speaking ghetto (remember, East Coast “Hispanics” are generally Afro- or Mulatto-Caribbean) within a few years.

    Not to mention all the stripper/paralegal/skanks hanging around.

  • madison grant

    “They’re making a mockery out of the prison system here.”

    Why not? These 3rd Worlders have already made a mockery out of our country.

  • flyingtiger

    They got this idea from Breakfast at Tiffiny. Damn you Truman Capote.

  • Hugh

    This is neither new nor hispanic. For as long as there have been jails there have been smugglers and exhibitionists (hopefully female).

  • Sardonicus

    Miami ceased to be an American city long ago and became “the Capitol of the Third World.” Miami has more in common with Afro-Caribbean culture than Anglo America. The old Confederate State of Florida is no more–check old re-runs of Miami Vice or Scarface to see how Miami/South Florida works today.

  • Bon, From the Land of Babble

    Look at what happens in many rural Missouri towns that are near relatively new state prisons — A lot of blacks from St. Louis and Kansas City are sent there to do time, and their ghetto relatives move to the towns to be close to their “loved ones.”

    This is why Pelican Bay state prison was built in a remote corner of California — unincorporated Del Norte County, far away from any major cities — to prevent a large welfare population from building up around the prison up AND to make visiting prisoners as difficult as possible.

    This is more to appease developers IMO than to keep White Californians safe. Once a prison moves in, there goes the neighborhood. There is rumbling about moving or closing San Quentin which sits on some of the most valuable property in the entire state — the developers are scheming over how much it will take to buy off enough politicians to get that prison out of there so they can turn it into high-end condos and estate properties — incorporating the original buildings and even cells to add cachet to the development (and jack up the price).

    http://goo.gl/VJQmV

    As for Southwest Ranches: A good dose of Section 8 housing will cure the denizens of Southwest Gardens of any notions of exclusivity AND maybe any lefty ideals they still retain.

    The majority of these hoochie-mamas are noncitizens brought in exclusively for the purposes of visiting the FDC.

    A good combination of Hispanic Family Values and doing yet one more job Americans won’t do. What’s to argue?

    Bon

  • Jack Krak

    As a Florida native, I cannot do enough to express my utter contempt for Miami. It is a shocking hell hole of a city and I defy anyone to visit there and conclude otherwise. My first experience there consisted of having to drive to the airport to pick up a friend. I pulled off the interstate on the edge of town to get gas at a convenience store & saw a huge “We Speak English” sign in the window. Mind you, this wasn’t put up in the defiant spirit of the last white man in Miami who refused to be swallowed by the tide. No, it was an all-Latino place just trying to let passing Anglos know that they could be understood there. How nice. Things only got worse until I finally got the airport and walked around in shock. It was just like being in Havana, Caracas, San Salvador or San Juan except that the American taxpayer had generously given the money to build the kind airport that none of those places could build for themselves. I will never go back there again for anything. Any true Floridian knows that the United States ends at Alligator Alley. Everything south of that is terra incognita.

  • Anon

    I live in south Florida and have to agreee giv with poster 7–Miami is considered by most people to be a part of south america–complete with the corruption and crime. But it’s spreading north fast. Just try and get anything done around here. Just the other day, I called Stanley Steemer to have carpets cleaned. They sent out moron number 1 who was barely comprehensible with his Haitian accent. He told me he’d couldn’t do the job because he didn’t know we were on the 6th floor (even though the apartment number should’ve given him the first clue) and had to send someone with the proper equipment. He then sends morons #2 and #3 out and they explain they can’t do the job, because THEY DON’T HAVE THE PROPER EQUIPMENT in their trucks. This is typical. Hell, you go into a fast food joint here and there’s at least a 50% chance of them screwing up your order–sometimes, saying “I’ll take a #6 to go” is just too much for them to handle. As Dade county goes, so goes Broward–whites will move to Palm Beach and eventually the whole place will be one giant third world holding pen.

  • Anonymous

    Hell, you go into a fast food joint here and there’s at least a 50% chance of them screwing up your order—sometimes, saying “I’ll take a #6 to go” is just too much for them to handle. As Dade county goes, so goes Broward—whites will move to Palm Beach and eventually the whole place will be one giant third world holding pen.

    Off topic, but sort of related. Years ago I worked for this company that had a maintenance contract with a manufacturing concern in the San Jose area, and every 4 or 5 months,a few of us would have to go out there for a couple of weeks to fix whatever was ailing.

    I imagine it’s even worse now, but back then, as near as I could tell, there was no counter help in the South Bay that grew up speaking English. None. I have no idea why this would be the case, but I don’t think I ever walked into any sort of retail establishment and encountered a white person who was a native English speaker dealing with the customers,with the exception of a restaurant that specialized in breakfasts for the local working proles.

    There was this fast food place between the plant and my hotel, and I started playing this little game. Every evening, I’d stop at the same fast food place and order the same takeout meal to carry off with me. And I made it a point to wait until I got back in my room to open the bag and see what I was actually going to get to eat for dinner.

    I can not recall two nights in a row where I got the same meal. Once in a while-every 4 or 5 nights-the contents of the bag would be something close to what I had ordered. The rest of the time? Not even close. And in a way, it was sort of fun, or at least something to break the monotony-kind of like opening a Cracker Jack box-there was never any telling what was going to be in that bag.

    Oh, and stopping in the morning for a box of donuts on the way to work was another adventure! Fortunately the donuts were behind clear glass, so that I could see what the guy was grabbing, and shake my head, point and hold up the requisite number of fingers to get my daily dose of sugar and grease.

  • Probation Officer

    This has been going on since forever. Lots of prisoners seduce their woman attorneys. Many have been caught in the interview rooms by guards passing along the hallway and looking through the windows.

    The San Quentin visiting rooms are notorious for this. The wife, girl friend whatever wears a midcalf full skirt, no panty hose or underwear and sits on his lap.

    The affirmative action women guards in California prisons make fortunes prostituting themselves to the brothers. The hispanic women guards are not known to do this, but the other affirmative action privileged group do and make a lot of money and contacts for stolen cars etc.

    Nothing new under the sun.

  • Anonymous

    “Look at what happens in many rural Missouri towns that are near relatively new state prisons — A lot of blacks from St. Louis and Kansas City are sent there to do time, and their ghetto relatives move to the towns to be close to their “loved ones.”

    This is why Pelican Bay state prison was built in a remote corner of California — unincorporated Del Norte County, far away from any major cities — to prevent a large welfare population from building up around the prison up AND to make visiting prisoners as difficult as possible.”

    It’s not just the prisoners families. In California virtually every prison guard, nurse and other employee hired since the early 1970′s has been an affirmative action black or hispanic.

    The black prison guard’s spawn are as bad as the black military spawn, guaranteed to turn a nice small town school system into the ghetto nightmares they left.

    The affirmative action guards are no better than the prisoner.

    Some areas of San Luis Obispo are as bad as the black ghetto areas of Riverside and Los Angeles due to the prisoners and guards families running amuck through the town.