How I Saw the Light (Part III)

The Women Slept Around Without Any Guilt

I developed my racial views from working with black people and teaching them. As a beginning teacher, I realized black students were not used to learning and studying. They ignored homework to the point that I spent less time teaching than trying to get parents to make sure their children handed in their homework. Black parents wanted good grades for their children but would not make them work. They put pressure on principals, superintendents and school board members to attack me as a “racist” if their children did not get the grades they thought they deserved.

Just as instructive as the students were black teachers who went to black colleges, none of whom knew their subjects well. The black women, whether married or single, slept around without any guilt. The black men did the same, and many had two or more families. Clothes, not brains, seemed most important to one teacher who had graduated from Fisk University. Her motto was “dress to impress for success.” Although she did not understand enough math to prepare her students for the American College Test (ACT), she was held in high regard and was considered a “role model.”

I Continually Had the ‘Aha’ Feeling

I used to be a liberal, then a conventional (National Review-Rush Limbaugh) conservative. I grew up like most Americans observing blacks and noticing their behavior, but I attributed it completely to the environment. About four years ago, I read Michael Levin’s book Why Race Matters and became converted to the AR position. How did I happen to read this book?

I had been a fan of Prof. Levin since I first came across his article, “Why Homosexuality Is Abnormal” in The Monist — I believe this was in the late 1980s. As I had always thought homosexuality weird and disgusting, it was nice to find that a very sharp philosopher had actually presented arguments against it. And he did it with such humor and elegance as well. Then, in the early 1990s I found out he had written Feminism and Freedom, which I purchased and devoured. Then in the late 1990s, I found out he had written a book on race and I, of course, had to read it so I purchased it.

Professor Levin’s book is remarkable. I am an amateur philosopher with an M.A. in the field. Prof. Levin literally teaches you how to think better and to apply philosophical concepts to practical issues like race. As I read through chapter after chapter, I continually had the “aha” feeling of finally understanding something that was all too familiar but that my previous conceptual scheme had forced me to misunderstand. Prof. Levin enabled me to see that there was a biological explanation for what I saw.

I Never Spoke to a Black Until I Was 23

I grew up in idyllic, sylvan, all-white western Pennsylvania. Still, I became racially aware at age 15, in 1976. I think my awareness came from reading healthy material as a child, which countered the onslaught of black-urban television sitcoms. I could not understand why my fellow fifteen-year-olds were attracted to Good Times, What’s Happening, and the blacks who dominate professional sports. My racial awareness can only be attributed to an innate loathing of urban black culture, and its utter alienness.

I had lived in such homogeneous surroundings that I never spoke to a black person until I was 23, and at Penn State. That person was my college adviser, a self-avowed Marxist-Leninist lesbian from Haiti! I explored several groups promoting white racial pride, but was turned off by their low intellectual level.

Today, living in northern Virginia is a daily assault on the senses due to the racial polyglot that is taking over the land of the old Confederacy. To have great pride in one’s German-American and Nordic heritage but to see the decline of a once racially healthy America is like battling metastasizing cancer. Also, I felt a great alienation in shouldering these sentiments without the support of “fellow travelers” until I found AR and the Council of Conservative Citizens.

Freedom ‘Unleashed the Beast’

In my first year of middle school I learned how awfully evil and oppressive white people were — they slaughtered the Indians; they slaughtered the Mexicans; they slaughtered the Jews; they enslaved and discriminated against blacks; they destroyed non-white cultures through colonialism. Needless to say, I left junior high school saddled with white guilt, a strong dislike for my own people, and great sympathy for the plight of blacks and non-whites. I believed that if blacks and non-whites were less successful in our society, it was because of white racism.

My new-found guilt and resentment of my own race grew stronger with each new media account of “white wickedness” — past and present — against blacks and non-whites. Every time the TV showed a starving black African face, a white policeman “brutalizing” a poor innocent black, or an explicitly graphic account of slavery, Jim Crow or lynching, my guilt and anger toward my own kind grew. It didn’t take long before I became an anti-white activist sincerely promoting non-white interests.

What made me see the light? Unlike liberal integrationists who refused to live among the people they championed, I did — and suffered for it. One day, when I was carrying groceries home from the store, a group of black gang members robbed and beat me half to death. After that, in spite of my conventional views on race, whenever I encountered a group of blacks, I increasingly began to think I might be robbed, killed, or forced to fight. I didn’t feel this way with whites.

My developing racial consciousness was greatly reinforced the second time blacks jumped and robbed me, and after the third time, I was pretty much convinced that “past injustices” and “discrimination” were poor excuses for targeting innocent people.

I began to approach the racial literature with an honest desire to discover whether there was any factual or scientific truth to the white racialist point of view. The first thing I learned was that since the end of segregation and legal discrimination, and the implementation of affirmative action and the promotion of black culture through the media and in schools, black crime, poverty, and failure actually increased. Freedom, social and cultural equality, and race-based preferences seem to have “unleashed the beast.”

What really convinced me finally to change my mind was the scientific evidence of racial difference, in books like The Bell Curve or in studies like Scarr and Weinberg’s Minnesota Transracial Adoption Study. The racial literature also showed me the extreme bias found in the mainstream media, which overplay rare instances of white-on-black crime while virtually ignoring black-on-white crimes, and explained the deliberate distortion of any topic, issue, or fact that doesn’t conform to their egalitarian point of view.

It was the combination of experience with non-whites, the study of scientific literature, and increased skepticism toward conventional media accounts of race that led to me to full racial consciousness.

I Realized Blacks Don’t Want Equality

I think living in diverse south Florida made me realize how bad diversity is. I think the incident that led me to white nationalism was the day the O.J. Simpson verdict was announced. I was at my diverse workplace, and we all listened to the trial over the radio. As I heard the verdict I felt afraid. I realized then that blacks don’t want equality but dominance and revenge. Soon afterwards I watched an argument between a white liberal homosexual and a black conservative Jamaican over the verdict. The white homosexual argued that O.J. was guilty while the black conservative thought O.J. Simpson would need counseling to get over the trauma of being wrongfully accused of murder. Race overcame all reasoning.

One Third of the Employees Were Black

While working in a large university library in 1979, I came across a book by N. Weyl and S. Possony entitled The Geography of the Intellect. Reading it confirmed many of my suspicions about race issues, especially with regard to black people. A few years later I began working in a large US Postal facility. Perhaps one third of the 500 employees were black. Working in that environment only confirmed my suspicions and reinforced the information in The Geography of Intellect.

For Me, the Answer Is Easy

For me, the answer is easy: Wilmot Robertson’s book, The Dispossessed Majority, which I read in 1980. Having read that groundbreaking work, the blindfold was lifted from my eyes, and, for the first time, I began to see the world in racial terms. More importantly, I began to see what was being done to my race.

Like many people, I had accepted the leftist, one-world, all-men-are-brothers concept without question, never suspecting that an anti-white, anti-Christian agenda was shaping my world. Robertson’s book, and later Jared Taylor’s Paved With Good Intentions, showed me how the millions spent on ghetto dwellers were nothing more than a scam, a fraud, and a waste of money. Mr. Robertson opened my eyes to the total media control, which uses films, television, books, newspapers and magazines to spread anti-majority messages. Finally, Wilmot Robertson gave me an immense pride in my race.

I Was Unable to Reason With Them

For me, the light came slowly. I could not have come from an environment more likely to make me sympathetic to blacks. I am a child of Holocaust survivors, which made me ripe for the rhetoric claiming that blacks fail because of the legacy of slavery and lingering racism. Further, I attended schools with almost no blacks, so there was nothing empirical to contradict the conventional explanation for black failure. Indeed, the president of our high school class was a pleasant, reasonably intelligent African American girl who never played the race card and behaved in a way that would make even AR readers comfortable.

Then I went to college. As a first-generation American from a poor immigrant family, I went to one of the so-called “Harvards for the masses.” That changed soon after I was admitted: The college started a new program that would admit blacks with a C average (whites and Asians had to average A minus). I was sitting in the college cafeteria one day when suddenly, its floor-to-ceiling window was broken by rock-throwing, rampaging blacks. They were angry that the college that had already lowered standards to admit them and given them free tuition did not also pay for textbooks! One cannot generalize from 30 angry blacks to an entire population, but that incident made me start to wonder whether blacks’ failures were all because of white people.

The next key moment was when — good liberal that I was — I took a position as the leader of a drug rap group in a largely black junior high school. My family had always taught me, “Treat people with respect, and they will respond in kind.” Not those students. They treated politeness as a sign of weakness. They frequently ran around the room, fighting with each other. I was unable to reason with them.

My next enlightening experience came when I was a student in the Ph.D. program in educational psychology at one of the nation’s top universities. There, I was introduced to the predictive validity of IQ. I also learned that the IQs of identical twins raised apart were much more similar than the IQs of fraternal twins raised together, and that abundant studies showed that blacks — worldwide — had much lower IQs than whites or Asians. This did not prove that the black-white difference is genetic, but it certainly suggested it. The next key moment was reading Paved With Good Intentions, a book replete with documentation of the ills African Americans perpetrate on America.

As affirmative action morphed from equal opportunity to reverse discrimination, my concern about the impact of blacks on society grew, both from an intellectual and personal perspective. After completing my Ph.D. (at the top of my class), I applied for dozens of professorships but could not get a job. I got an inkling as to why at the end of what seemed like a perfect interview. The committee members nodded in agreement at nearly everything I said, often smiling. Afterwards, all the committee members except the department chair left, and he asked me to stay behind. I dared hope he would offer me the job. Instead, he said, “I’ll deny saying it, but I want to save you the wondering. You are, by far, the best candidate for the job, but you don’t stand a ghost of chance of getting it. The dean has informed us that the next seven hires will be women or minorities.”

I was forced to go back to teaching inner-city kids. Again, I found most of the blacks remarkably unintelligent, often violent, and often impossible to reason with. After three years, I landed a temporary one-year position as lecturer at a university. My office mate was a Hispanic woman — a truly unintelligent, abysmal teacher. At the end of the year, she was offered a tenure-track job and I was released despite outstanding student evaluations and even a student protest over the decision not to rehire me. I’ve since seen reverse discrimination become ever more extreme, along with the unfair denigration of white males in textbooks, college classes, sitcoms, news shows, etc., etc.

I believe this trend cannot be reversed. The demographic trends; the liberals in control of schools, colleges, and media; and the liberalization of voter registration (motor voter, voting over a week-long period) will mean America becomes dominated by anti-meritocracy and anti-white forces. The few people brave enough to speak out are censored or dubbed as Nazis. The price that people like Phil Rushton (his book Race, Evolution, and Behavior was also influential in changing my views) Michael Levin, and of course, Arthur Jensen, have paid is unconscionable.

I make my living in the politically correct world and therefore cannot give my name lest I risk losing my livelihood.