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Addressing Interracial Adoption Issues Important

More news stories on Racial Identity

Elaine Jarvik and Lois M. Collins, Mormon Times (Salt Lake City), February 1, 2010

{snip}

Smith [Tamu Smith, owner of a hair salon in Provo] is a black woman married to a white man. She’s mom to both biological and adopted children, hair dresser and confidant of many black children and their adoptive white parents. And as talk turns to Utahns and their efforts to provide homes to Haitian orphans in the wake of the earthquake, she says she’s glad so many want to help children in need. But it’s naive to think that love for the child alone will erase cultural differences.

“I think people who adopt interracially feel that ‘if I provide a great home and love, if I center them in the gospel of the LDS Church or any church, then this fixes the problem’ and you can trump some of the cultural differences,” she said. “Even in the best of homes, they will eventually look at their parents and say, ‘I’m different.’”

What to do with those differences is the stuff not of chance, but of reflection and hard work, experts say.

“So many adoptees are struggling with what it means to be black,” says University of Utah Ph.D. candidate Darron Smith, who is completing a dissertation on transracial adoptions in Utah and who, with BYU sociology professor Cardell Jacobson, interviewed dozens of black adults who were adopted as children by white families.

Whether they had black or biracial biological parents, as these children in their new white families become teens, some may be unsure where they fit in—the black world or the white world, both or in-between. Some biracial adoptees even report being afraid of blacks. {snip}

White adoptive parents must realize, he says, “that love is not enough.” Tamu Smith wonders who will teach those children “how to be a black adult.” Black children face issues that white parents have never faced, such as racism. The parents must bring the local black community into the child’s life as both mentors and family friends, they agree. For Haitian children, that should mean enlisting Utah’s Haitian community.

Kathy Searle and her husband, who are white, have raised six black and two Colombian children, along with three biological children. Searle, who directs programs for the Adoption Exchange, says ignoring racial difference is a mistake. Only white people have the luxury of thinking you can be color-blind. {snip}

{snip} But a black child will need black adults as well, she notes. {snip}

Because being a successful parent in a transracial adoption is complicated, parents are encouraged to take online classes. The Hague treaty, an agreement on best practices for international adoptions, requires some courses on culture, race and ethnicity for international adoptions.

Embracing black culture means more than “fun, food and festivities, or hanging up pictures of Martin Luther King,” says Darron Smith. The unfortunate reality is that black male children, for example, need to be taught by black adults to put their hands on the steering wheel if they’re pulled over. That’s not a common white experience.

Racism in Utah may be covert, says Suzanne Stott, executive director of the adoption agency Families for Children and the adoptive mother of 11. Expectations in school may be lower for black children, for example.

{snip}

“I hope in two or three years we don’t have a bunch of these (Haitian) children in the foster care system because parents were unable to manage some of the challenges,” worries Lori Findeis, owner of Children’s Counseling Center in Orem. “We saw that with a lot of the kids from Russia and Ukraine.”

She hopes too, she says, that parents who do adopt don’t demand gratitude: “I came and saved you. You should be grateful.”

{snip}

White parents with black children have to feel pride in the black culture themselves and know “all kinds of history of African-American people who have done well,” Shannon says. The mindset is “We are an ethnic family,” not “I have adopted an ethnic child.”

Introduce foods and customs and language native to the child, experts agree. Celebrate all cultures and differences. Buy a black doll—and a white one and a Native American one. Talk about differences, but also note similarities between diverse people. Celebrate both.

{snip}

Original article

(Posted on February 1, 2010)

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Comments

1 — john wrote at 7:00 PM on February 1:

The writers who penned this story seemed to focus on all the difficulies faced by black children in America. They might have mentioned all the set-asides for even marginally qualified blacks in the areas of education, and later, in the job market, set asides which will be exploited by the white foster parents on behalf of their adoptive black children.

The simple fact is that a black child with only average intelligence, a modicum of motivation, and more or less normal social skills enjoys a huge opportunity advantage over his white peers.

2 — Question Diversity wrote at 7:12 PM on February 1:

Whether they had black or biracial biological parents, as these children in their new white families become teens, some may be unsure where they fit in—the black world or the white world, both or in-between.

I thought the election of our current President was supposed to end these sorts of dilemmas.

The unfortunate reality is that black male children, for example, need to be taught by black adults to put their hands on the steering wheel if they’re pulled over.

Because that sort of thing is so subtle and complicated that you can’t teach it much less do it if you’re white.

Racism in Utah may be covert, says Suzanne Stott, executive director of the adoption agency Families for Children and the adoptive mother of 11. Expectations in school may be lower for black children, for example.

But if you expect too much of them, they’ll whine about racism.

3 — Maldos wrote at 7:25 PM on February 1:

I’m so glad that I’ll never be the victim of racism, being a white man. Unless I apply for a job, college, or a scholarship. Then its a whole other story, the measure of my ability will be artificially lowered based on my race.

(The minority candidate on the other hand will have their scores “normalized” against their inability to function properly. Close your eyes, tap your heels and say it with me three times; “There’s no such thing as minority privilege”. Good, now do it with a straight face.)

Other than that though, I’m going to be just fine. Unless of course I say I’m proud to be who I am, then I’ll be hated throughout my community. Who knows, I may even make National News if I say “White Pride” in public one too many times, I’m sure I’ll make local news.

{It’s February.)

Well, at least I won’t be targeted for violence. I mean, my wife may one day be one of the 30,000 white women raped each year by black men, but I can overlook that… because it’s not racism, they’re just “acting out”.

(The white on black rape statistic is 5. The margin of error is 5.)

Who else is glad that they are white? We don’t have to go through the “racism” that minorities go through. We just go through the real racism.

4 — whiteraven wrote at 7:36 PM on February 1:

The Haitian government does not want these sick whites bothering their kids, nor do many black leaders in the US, because they want them to grow up as blacks, not some kind of hybrid social experiment that have a foot in two different worlds, not ever knowing exactly who they are.

But nothing they can say will deter these sick, mentally disturbed whites. They’re determined to give these black kids what they feel they need in spite of anybody’s wishes but their own. They’re meddlesome troublemakers that ought to be jailed and given lengthy prison sentences as an example to other dogooder types who want to foist their brand of brotherhood on everybody even ifit isn’t wanted.

It’s really disgusting.

5 — Anonymous wrote at 9:06 PM on February 1:

“She hopes too, she says, that parents who do adopt don’t demand gratitude: “I came and saved you. You should be grateful.”

What? Just because you endured years of paper work, bribery and bureaucratic torture, just because you saved me from the horrors of growing up in the butt-end of the third world, from polluted water, outhouse plumbing, malnutrition, ignorance, exploitation, brutality, misery and premature death, you expect gratitude. Fat chance, racist.

Now gimmie your wallet and the car keys. Cash, too.

And finish filling out my application for admission to any damn college I want to attend, regardless of my refusal to learn to read, write and do simple arithmetic. I refuse to act white. I just want a degree, I don’t want to learn nothing.

Hell, if I demonstrate gratitude, next thing you’ll want respect.

6 — Visine wrote at 9:09 PM on February 1:

The mainstream media and our other assorted enemies have made a huge gaffe with this one. After all, it is a central point of their dogma that Blacks are simply Whites with a different colored skin.

If their dogma is true, then a Black child should be easily transformed into a culturally acceptable Black adult regardless of the White parents’ lack of Black cultural insight.

If they cannot, then the antis must confront the glaring problem with their “we are all the same” mantra.

Of course, they will NOT address the problem, and will go on applying their double standard in the relentless effort to deconstruct the White race and Western civilization.

7 — Blaak Obongo wrote at 9:55 PM on February 1:

“Whether they had black or biracial biological parents, as these children in their new white families become teens, some may be unsure where they fit in—the black world or the white world, both or in-between.”

Hasn’t that been one of the main objections to black/white marriages all along? Why is it permitted for blacks to issue these warnings, but “Racism” when Whites say the same thing?

“Some biracial adoptees even report being afraid of blacks. “

And with ample reason.

” Tamu Smith wonders who will teach those children “how to be a black adult.”

Indeed, we must all wonder who will teach any black children how to be adults at all.

8 — David Whitmerris wrote at 10:15 PM on February 1:

I wonder if the children from the Ukraine and Russia that wound up in foster care were adopted by non-White families. It seems far less likely for these children to have been abandoned by their adoptive parents than for non-White children to be “given back” by their do-gooder White adoptive parents, who found out that it isn’t as much fun as they thought it would be to be big-hearted toward the “less fortunate.”

I’m White, and I always put my hands on the steering wheel if pulled over and even at regular driver’s license check-points. I didn’t have to be taught to do this by anyone, White or Black. I reasoned that the Police and State Troopers have enough to worry about as it is, that they are (and rightly so) wary of almost everyone, and I don’t want anyone mistaking my actions as going for a weapon. Getting shot dead, even as the result of a mistake, is not my idea of fun.

I’m confident, though, that if anyone can find a way to fix the dilemma of mixed race adoptions, it’ll be the Mormons. These kids will go through the normal progession from human to deity, and they’ll learn to worship as polytheists the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.

One other thing, I was almost convinced that ALL races can now be color-blind. Are they telling me I can’t be color-blind because I’m White?

9 — Evergreen wrote at 11:02 PM on February 1:

“Black children face issues that white parents have never faced, such as racism”.

Of course not, Bucky. There is only a slow, grinding holocaust being perpetrated against whites by blacks & browns every day in America. But since whites are acceptable - even deserving -victims, it isnt really racism at all.

Get it?

10 — Anonymous wrote at 1:00 AM on February 2:

Somebody actually teaches Blacks to act that way? I thought that their behavior came from a lack of teaching.

11 — Anonymous wrote at 5:34 AM on February 2:

Well a simple solution would be to have Black parents adopt Black children. Oh, but wait there aren’t any or very few available, only evil, racist Whites who are willing to take them in.

12 — Ellen wrote at 1:06 PM on February 2:

“The unfortunate reality is that black male children, for example, need to be taught by black adults to put their hands on the steering wheel if they’re pulled over.”

How utterly ridiculous. Everyone, of all races, is well advised to put their hands on the steering wheel in order to reassure the cop as he approaches the car. I’ve heard that all my life, and I’m white. Are whites not supposed to be capable of teaching this simple rule? Or are they implying that only blacks are ever pulled over, so whites wouldn’t know about it?

13 — Anonymous wrote at 2:54 PM on February 2:

This article screams of the whole “white privilege” junk. Typical little statements like the one about white people never having to experience racism. Not only is that a bunch of bologna, but it’s also sounds like the standard implication by non-whites that ALL white people were born with a silver spoon in their mouth. Honestly, do non-white people just assume that NO white people have ever faced struggles? How many of you reading this were born to poor parents, yet achieved success through motivation, experiences, a little bit of wit, and by God a little bit of elbow-grease? I did, with pride. NOTHING I have was handed, it was all earned. No excuses. The idea of white privilege to me is an insult and a smack in face of everything I’ve toiled for. It implies that what I have EARNED was simply guaranteed by my birth. Any white guilt traitor who feels I have to apologize for anything I have done is welcome to come to Wisconsin and tell it to my face, rather than “speaking” for me. I just can’t help but feel that those who are actually adopting Haitians ARE basing it on their own white privilege, the fact they were probably born rich. I was not, far from it. I will imagine that any white who has ever worked for anything (95 percent of us) feel completely insulted by the notion of white privilege.

14 — mountaineer wrote at 5:23 PM on February 2:

The “white privilege” mindset seems to be especially pervasive amongst the welfare class regardless of race. Layabouts chalk up the success of others (especially that of whites) as the result of some form of cheating. This mindset, coupled with their overblown sense of entitlement, makes them such charming people to be around.

I’ve personally known honest, decent families on welfare due to circumstances out of their control. But too often those on the dole are repugnant abusers without an ounce of shame over taking money from those that work when they themselves are perfectly able-bodied. And why work a minimum wage job when the system will pay for your food, your housing, your health care, etc?

15 — kc wrote at 5:39 AM on February 3:

“Searle, who directs programs for the Adoption Exchange, says ignoring racial difference is a mistake. “

Agree, that is why children should not be adopted to parents not of their race. Think about it. These Haitian children will be taken out of their country, their culture, their people and sent thousands of miles away to a foreign land, a foreign culture with people who look nothing like them. This is bound to cause a lot of problems for them. Imagine how much better it would be if these Whites in Utah simply temporarilty provided a Haitian child shelter and then sent him/her back to his/her own people and culture and financially sponsored them instead?

16 — ghw wrote at 2:57 AM on February 9:

“The unfortunate reality is that black male children need to be taught by black adults to put their hands on the steering wheel if they’re pulled over. That’s not a common white experience. Racism in Utah may be covert, says Suzanne Stott, executive director of the adoption agency Families for Children and the adoptive mother of 11.”
………………….

That’s a ridiculous comment. EVERYONE should know how to behave properly if pulled over by the police. It’s not a uniquely black experience. This woman is conveying the leftist implication that the police routinely discriminate against blacks. It’s propaganda, and I don’t buy it! And I might add that anyone with eleven adopted children is obviously suffering a mental disorder, as exemplified by some of our more famous celebrities.


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