Matthew Coutts, National Post (Toronto), May 22, 2009
In trying to adapt to a patchwork of often conflicting cultures, has civility become the casualty of accommodation? Illustration by Rebecca Yanovskaya In trying to adapt to a patchwork of often conflicting cultures, has civility become the casualty of accommodation?
When the landlady of my Toronto apartment building said an outraged neighbour had filed a complaint about me over an apparently inappropriate hallway interaction with his wife, my mind raced through the countless conversations I’ve had with fellow tenants, none of which seemed a possible source of offence.
It turns out, it wasn’t a salacious transaction that had caused the complaint, but rather a neighbourly and—to me—entirely forgettable greeting, little more than a brief “good morning” as I passed my neighbours on the way to work.
Still, it was enough of an affront for the man—once a doctor somewhere in the Middle East, my landlady clarified—to feel I had broken a cultural taboo. The incident started an awkward feud which has involved warnings not to repeat my indiscretion and one face-to-face shouting match, which included allusions to my impending death.
I expect the battle will wage on, as we appear to be stuck at an impasse.
His Muslim upbringing has ingrained in him a sense of entitlement to demand I not speak directly to his wife; and my prairie upbringing has ingrained in me a duty to strive for polite cohesion with my neighbours.
My landlady, who has handled the complaint with tittering trepidation, hasn’t helped dispel the friction. She has told me to adhere to the demands because the man “could be dangerous,” directing me to literally turn my back to the couple as they pass, never make eye contact and never hold the elevator for them, no matter what.
Life among neighbours has become increasingly complicated by multiculturalism, in this case making even the most affable salutation or good Samaritan gesture a practice in walking on eggshells. But in trying to adapt to a patchwork of often conflicting cultures, has civility become the casualty of accommodation?
I grew up in Manitoba, where it was an affront to your neighbour not to be cordial. If you didn’t greet them by name you could be talked about in hushed voices and risked being labelled standoffish. Community amongst neighbours was not something to consider, it was a way of life. Call it prairie law.
Since moving to Toronto, I have lived in condos where asking your neighbour for the proverbial cup of sugar is greeted by skeptical, confused faces and closed doors.
But the majority have been open to the time-passing chats that break down barriers.
My midtown apartment building is home mostly to young professionals and is the definition of nondescript. I frequently hold doors for people carrying packages and say “you’re welcome” if they show gratitude. I have run errands for unfamiliar neighbours because I was heading out into the rain anyway and there was no point in us both getting wet. I chat like a fool while waiting in the laundry room.
Of course, denying me the right to greet a woman in our shared hallway fails to measure up to reported conflicts that have caused a culture clash, such as Canada’s reaction to a recent Afghan law allowing some husbands to withhold food until their wives agree to sex, or the case of a Toronto-area father and son accused of killing a daughter who refused to wear a hijab at school.
I discussed my situation with the head of a prominent Muslim women’s rights organization, who was understandably more concerned with the living conditions of the woman in question. She described the segregation of sexes as one of the worst examples of fundamentalist Islamic misinterpretation and dismissed the idea that my greeting could be construed as an offence.
Keep smiling, keep saying hello, she advised. The successful cohesion of cultures requires concessions from both sides. Offence or not, I have continued to greet those I share a building with, although the couple next door continue living in reclusion.
The alternative to this is to live amongst strangers in an icy standoff, fearful that the slightest attempt at community might be viewed as an affront. The alternative is to abandon prairie law, turn your back and close your eyes. And that sounds terrible.
Original article
(Posted on May 28, 2009)
Comments
Whites desperately need a sense of solidarity. Then, when something like this happens, every single white man in the complex would greet that wife every time they see her. Her husband can holler and scream until he’s red in the face but, faced with superior numbers, there wouldn’t be much he could do about it - except return to where ever he came from.
A prominent Michigan “institution of higher learning” recently installed “footbaths” so that the muslims would not use the toilets or sinks to wash their feet. I have found these footbaths to be excellent urinals. I dare ANY muslim to challenge me on my use of these “footbaths” because they were paid for with MY TAX DOLLARS.
Simple solution. Continue to be civil to white neighbors. Ignore minorities. works for me.
Whatever happened to that old addage: “When in Rome, do as the Romans do”?
These Moslem immigrants should be plainly told that if they wish to live in Canada, they should adapt to Canada’s norms — or else leave.
Of course, that will not happen.
This is a perfect example of the research findings that more diversity leads to more distrust.
Too bad you are in Canada. Here in Florida, had this happened to me, the offensive immigrant would be shown the business end of a Colt and told to go home, in no uncertain terms.
“Whites desperately need a sense of solidarity. Then, when something like this happens, every single white man in the complex would greet that wife every time they see her. Her husband can holler and scream until he’s red in the face but, faced with superior numbers, there wouldn’t be much he could do about it - except return to where ever he came from.
Posted by jewamongyou at 8:04 PM on May 28”
Just so. Some might say that this would be a pointless gesture, that would accomplish nothing more than to make the immigrant in question uncomfortable.
Exactly. The more uncomfortable they are, the less welcome they feel, the more likely they will be to leave, and the more of them who will leave. That is an end in and of itself.
Once again we have proof positve…Diversity is indeed our strength!!!
It’s best to make your friendly advances towards whites. We understand each other much better so the chances of having a nice outcome are best. Towards non-whites just be polite as the situation demands but otherwise be instrumental towards them.
Her husband can holler and scream until he’s red in the face but, faced with superior numbers, there wouldn’t be much he could do about it - except return to where ever he came from.
Nice idea, but we know where the government would take a stand in muslims vs. ANYONE NOT MUSLIM! now don’t we. Mustn’t outrage the muslims. Muslims will NEVER, EVER return to where they came from, they are HERE and THERE to stay until death do they part.
No, our job is to reproduce, not to risk our lives to change the lives of other peoples.
What’s sad is his wife is probably in for some domestic violence by her “husband”, since she clearly invited the unwanted male attention.
What I find really appalling is the advice from the head of the woman’s group, who said for him to “Keep smiling, keep saying hello.” So now this guy gets involuntarily drafted into some weird culture war he never asked for, all in the name of “successful cohesion of cultures.” So in addition to the daily struggle of working, keeping one’s relationships on an even keel, paying taxes, and doing the myriad of other day to day things all of us must do, he now has to worry about some angry husband, all the while being encouraged to goad what may be a sociapath by continuing to smile and talk to his wife on every possible occasion. I just find it disgusting that this guy has to now saddle his life with a burden he didn’t ask for and something that no reasonable person should have to put up with.
If you see the man in the hallway, spit on the floor in front of him and dare him to look you in the eyes. This is NOT his country and it never will be. He can take his goat back with him to the Middle East on the next plane. He is fast becoming an unwelcome guest…..with no entitlement whatsoever.
If that does not work…..get a dog…..a big black dog, that slobbers uncontrollably, and wait for your uptight neighbor in the hallway.
Keep saying hello,you are in your country not in thiers,and they have no right to inflict thier culture upon you,this is creeping sharia do not countenance it.
they are living in our countries, but the moment we start altering our cultures to accommodate them (instead of expecting hem to assimilate to the home culture), then these are no longer our countries:
we have lost to the invaders.
May you get what you wish for… in this case, Toronto (and Canada) being “blessed” with the many-faceted joys of multicultural diversity. “Joys” they apparently are getting with a vengeance.
As an American, I would no more cater to THEIR cultural mores than I’d want to marry a Muslim immigrant. Time for all Whites to wake the hell up, draw the proverbial line in the sand and tell the damned immigrants to cross it at their risk. That they damned well adapt themselves to the White majority’s lifestyle and not expect us to kowtow to them.
Muslims cause problems wherever they go. If one goes to another country, it’s up to the newcomer to adhere to the rules of the culture. If they can’t, then THEY need to go home. Better yet, stupid Whites need to stop allowing immigration of people of different cultures. Common sense will tell you that you can’t throw people of all different cultures, races and beliefs together and have peace and harmony. When are Whites ever going to wake up?
Then if we totally ignore them, pass they by without saying “hello” they will accuse us of hating them.
My landlady, who has handled the complaint with tittering trepidation, hasn’t helped dispel the friction. She has told me to adhere to the demands because the man “could be dangerous,” directing me to literally turn my back to the couple as they pass, never make eye contact and never hold the elevator for them, no matter what.
This is the future of whites here in the U.S. if we ever give up our guns. In fact, this future had already arrived for American whites in places with strict gun laws like California and Massachusetts. American whites need to get armed and get politically active. If you’re not willing to “come out of the closet” (so to speak) as a white nationalist, then get active in the field of gun rights. It’s much less politically incorrect than pro-white activism, and just as important, since probably the only thing standing between American whites and genocide right now is the Second Amendment.
Here in Florida, had this happened to me, the offensive immigrant would be shown the business end of a Colt and told to go home, in no uncertain terms.
Here in Arizona, you don’t even need a permit to carry a gun, as long as it’s not concealed. I had some problems with ethnic intimidation myself a while back. A few days spent strolling around the neighborhood with sidearm strapped to my hip put a stop to that real quick. Didn’t even have to say anything.
Some might say that this would be a pointless gesture, that would accomplish nothing more than to make the immigrant in question uncomfortable. Exactly. The more uncomfortable they are, the less welcome they feel, the more likely they will be to leave, and the more of them who will leave.
PS. Anonymous made a very good point that I had not thought of: that the unfortunate wife is likely to be in for some “domestic violence” for having attracted this unwanted attention.
I spent a number of years in other countries and lived in different parts of the United States. I found it better to respect the local culture while maintaining my own.
Muslims will NEVER, EVER return to where they came from, they are HERE and THERE to stay until death do they part.
Posted by SKIP at 12:07 AM on May 29
____
Right. It doesn’t matter for Muslims if you like them or not. They would prefer to be ignored as they want to form their islamic enclaves. They don’t come to work and return but they come to stay and drain your money.
But you can ignore their demands. Make them understand that they live in a Western country. Forbid islamic veil everywhere, not only at public institutions. Cut off their benefits. If they commit crime or rebel, deport them immediately, the whole family if possible.
“it seems that people are coming here from around the world to maintain their own culture and try to push ours aside and recreate the culture they left. To me, this is a form of pure and total disrespect.
Moslems, on the other hand, have been instilled with no such notion. They are told by their religion, and very explicitly, that their way of life is frankly superior to all others and that non-believers are benighted and backward (if not downright wicked and sinful). Is it any surprise they are contemptuous?
Indeed, what they teach about others, would be illegal in many Christian countries today, if Christians taught the same about them. You would be imprisoned for “hate speech.”
No matter how educated, cultured, intelligent, accomplished, or rich you may be, you are still, to Moslems, their inferiors. Therefore, they see no reason to adjust themselves to your heathen way of life (why should they?), while you are constantly prodded, warned and admonished to adjust to theirs.
It is a very unbalanced situation. We have lost our cultural/racial self-confidence, stripped of our mental armor, while they have not. Hence, we are at a great disadvantage in this current silent war that is being waged against us.
I think I would be one of those who would do as suggested above: continue to speak directly to the couple. In so doing, I’d hope that the husband would get so angry as to have a stroke and drop dead right there on the spot. Otherwise, the first time he tried to engage in a shouting match with me, I’d just have to rearrange his face with my right fist - striking directly where his nose is (was?). After that, a good free-for-all is good for the spirits.
Or, as Gemalo wrote earlier, the business end of a Colt would work, too.
“And they shall beat their ploughshares into swords and their pruning hooks into spears.”
Otherwise, the first time he tried to engage in a shouting match with me, I’d just have to rearrange his face with my right fist - striking directly where his nose is (was?). After that, a good free-for-all is good for the spirits. Or, as Gemalo wrote earlier, the business end of a Colt would work, too.
“I’d just have to rearrange his face with my right fist.”
All this talk about fists and guns: none of this should be necessary! It’s a sign of desperation, of last-ditch measures on the part of the citizens. And it’s very sad. It’s an indictment of their failed, tratorious governments.
As I’ve written here before, if our governments were doing the jobs they’re SUPPOSED to be doing
Though endlessly lectured that we have democracy and “government by the people…” blah, blah … the fact is that we are now captives to a system we don’t want, a system that has been hijacked and which very clearly no longer represents our best interests. “We the people” has become “we the politicians and special interests.”
I think we should be tolerent but we should respond to a nut like this muslim guy by letting him know that he will never be comfortable in the US/Cananda. We greet each other, dot, period.
As for the guy who urinates in the footbath,…wrong, wrong, wrong. There are enough enemies amongst us that we do not need to create more. we can accomadate anyone who tolerates us. the others, they should go back to the hell holes they are usualy from.
