Domestic Violence Hits Black Women Harder
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Kathy Chaney, Chicago Defender, October 8, 2008
According to a recently released study, the weapon most used by men to kill African American women was a gun.
The Violence Policy Center, a national non-profit organization that conducts research on violence in the United States stated in its annual report, “When Men Murder Women: An Analysis of 2006 Homicide Data,” that 551 African American women were murdered by males that year.
Of those homicides where a murder weapon could be identified, 305 of the victims were fatally shot and most during the course of an argument.
The study stated there were 1,818 race-identified females murdered by males. And while white women accounted for the largest total of those killed—1,208—African American women were killed at a rate nearly three times higher.
In Illinois, there were 39 domestic-related homicides and 114,921 reported cases of domestic violence in 2006.
{snip}
Domestic violence is a pattern of mental, physical, emotional or sexual abuse where one partner makes the other partner feel scared, weak, isolated, hurt or sad, according to Between Friends, a Chicago-based non-profit agency that provides educational and counseling services for domestic violence victims and advocates.
{snip}
Signs of abuse include jealousy, controlling behavior, isolation, forceful sex, and physical and verbal abuse.
{snip}
[Editor’s Note: The Violence Policy Center’s report “When Men Murder Women: An Analysis of 2006 Homicide Data” can be read or downloaded as a PDF file here.]
(Posted on October 10, 2008)
Comments
Notice that this article doesn’t talk about the race of the perpetrators. The reason black women are far more likely than white women to be victims of domestic violence is because black women are far more likely than white women to have relationships with black men.
As an aside, there is an ignorant conspiracy mentality in the black community that white women are dangerous bait for black men, that if a black man gets involved with a white woman, the “cops just sent her in to entrap him.” My theory is this — white women are far less likely than black women to put up with domestic violence from men of any sort. Since black men have an average lower IQ and higher testosterone than white men, white women who go with black men are at a very high risk to be brutalized. And since they’re more likely to call the cops, this is why black men who go with white women have a tendency to become an object of police interest.
Posted by Question Diversity at 5:45 PM on October 10
So what? Rape hits white women harder. Rape committed W-A-Y disproportionately by black males.
Put THAT in your crack pipe and smoke it!
Posted by generalquagmyer at 6:00 PM on October 10
The headline “Domestic Violence Hits Black Women Harder” could just as easily have been “Black Men Hit Black Women Harder.”
More to the point, no?
Posted by at 6:02 PM on October 10
Because most black women who have domestic partners aren’t living with white men, we can infer that these killers of black women are black men. (With anger management issues and poor impulse control.)
Posted by at 6:14 PM on October 10
And I’m willing to bet that more than 50% of white women murdered by a husband or ‘significant other’ are in interracial relationships.
Posted by GetBackJack at 6:23 PM on October 10
The Defender is an ultra-hateful African newspaper in Chicago so don’t look for a really incisive insight into this topic.
I’d like the stats for three domestic instances of violence:
1) How many African women were shot/killed by African males with who they shared quarters regardless of marital situation?
2) How may White women were shot/killed by African males with whom they shared quarters regardless of marital situation?
3) How many African women were shot/killed in all possible situations by White men?
Anyone out there have these answers?
Posted by Annoyed In Illinois at 6:36 PM on October 10
And yet alot of white women flock to the darker side everyday. I have a theory about this phenomenon. I think alot of white women flock to blacks and hispanics due to the macho image they put forth. Too many of our white kinsmen have been neutered by domineering mothers that teach them to get in touch with their feminine side. No woman wants a man that needs a woman to lead him. There is a difference between treating a woman with respect and being lead by them. Maybe I’m wrong, but I feel that no woman wants a weak man. Period. Even at the risk of being mistreated by blacks and hispanics, they want an assertive man. I could be way off-base, but I don’t think so. If any ladies on AmRen have any insight to offer, I would love to hear from you.
Posted by at 6:50 PM on October 10
I believe that black men are also much more likely than white men to be murdered by their spouses.
Unfortunately, few seem to care when men are the victims of domestic violence.
Check out this article about a black woman who poured boiling water on her husband’s groin-
http://www.bradenton.com/847/story/942449.html
Two suggestions-
Look at the smirk on her face,
Read the comments section - If a woman were the victim, no one would even think of posting the kinds of comments that readers have filled four pages with.
Posted by Mike NY at 6:52 PM on October 10
Black women are getting murdered and a higher rate because they keep making the same mistake Nicole Brown Simpson did. They keep getting involved with black men who are basically spoiled, impulsive, violent, stupid men-children.
Posted by AvgDude at 7:59 PM on October 10
The headline is a variation on the old “hardest hit” phrase they use with AIDS. You know, Africans are “hardest hit” by the disease, as passive victims of something that comes out of nowhere and gets them.
Here, black women are “hardest hit” by an impersonal phenomenon that comes out of nowhere, called domestic violence. Imagine the horror their husbands must feel as they watch on, unable to do anything to stop this unwanted intruder into their lives.
Posted by Reader-1 at 8:00 PM on October 10
“305 of the victims were fatally shot and most during the course of an argument.”
I can’t believe Black women would argue.
I was watching Survivor last night and sure enough the only black woman on the show was arguing (loudly).
The only black male on the show was arguing during the last episode. He felt he had been “dissed” and he was letting everybody know.
Both will be voted off because of their “attitude.”
No impulse control-no million dollars.
Posted by at 8:06 PM on October 10
This is the fault of black males. It’s not surprising, black males surpass others in murder rates of every other category. Why should this be different? Of course, they’ll find some way to blame this on whites.
Posted by at 8:40 PM on October 10
Generalquagmyer:
As 53 year old White woman who was in an abusive marriage with a White man for 15 years, I got married at 26; I can tell you that domestic violence is a severe problem in America that transcends across racial lines. I had been so battered that my self esteem was all but unreturnable neglible.
It was with the help of three female counselers, one of whom was a Black woman, I was able to regather my self-esteem, divorce my husband, gain custody of my two now grown children and began life anew.
My point is that battered women’s syndrome is not something to be taken lightly regardless of the race of the woman! Your flippant, concluding comment “put that in your crack pipe and smoke it” is pathetic beyong belief.
You obviously have little regard for women.
Posted by Anna at 10:04 PM on October 10
“Maybe I’m wrong, but I feel that no woman wants a weak man. Period. Even at the risk of being mistreated by blacks and hispanics, they want an assertive man. I could be way off-base, but I don’t think so. If any ladies on AmRen have any insight to offer, I would love to hear from you.”
Actually as a woman, I don’t agree that it has to do with weakness. It’s just that we whites have are stupid ones too. White women who go with blacks, and I’ve known some, are usually stupid and often lower class, at least the ones I knew. Note that you seldom see middle and upper class white women with black men. I think lower class dumb white females find their element. Also, there are some stupid women that like a “bad boy”. They don’t want a nice man because they either have some psychological problem or they’re stupid.
Posted by at 10:24 PM on October 10
If black men are so violent toward a “sista” one can only guess how violent they are toward a non “sista”. Show this article to most young white girls and their response will be something like “I know black girls who date white guys. How do you know it’s not the white guys killing the black women?” The reason you’ll get this response is because those young women/girls are trained to not notice the obvious. They might know one or two black girls who have dated white men and, in their minds, this negates the fact that 90% or so of black women strongly prefer black men and end up with one as a boyfriend or husband.
Posted by jewamongyou at 10:34 PM on October 10
What’s incredible about these statistics is that black women are less likely to have a significant other, whether it’s a husband or boyfriend, only one night stands. That means the ones who do have a partner stand an unusually high chance of domestic violence. I suspect some of this violence revolves around pimps or drugs.
Posted by at 10:38 PM on October 10
“Unfortunately, few seem to care when men are the victims of domestic violence.”
I would have to agree with that being over the last 40 years or so when a spouse has been killed it’s been the woman doing the killing almost as often as the man, yet when the subject comes up it is in articles or fictional representations similar to this one. One of these men’s right groups claims even those statistics aren’t accurate because the wife will often times hire or persuade another person to do the murder, or the perp will be a relative. ‘domestic abuse’ is another issue (although it’s said the wife sends the husband to the hospital as often as the husband sends the wife), although men are many, many times more likely to be assaulted, overall.
Posted by at 11:15 PM on October 10
Signs of abuse include jealousy, controlling behavior, isolation, forceful sex, and physical and verbal abuse.
In order for this type of behavior to be aberrant, it must be the exception, not the rule. It’s not. Not among blacks. This is normal, universal, behavior among blacks. It’s never been any different in any country, in any time period. It will never be any different.
Blacks don’t have social problems, so much as they ARE a social problem. My point is, this article very clearly implies that more must be done to help the black community. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Nothing we do will change any of this…ever. Instead, what we should be focussing on is doing more to isolate the black community. And to educate whites as to their nature. To prevent whites from becoming victims in this.
Posted by at 1:18 AM on October 11
Note the opening sentence - this is nothing more than a gun-control diatribe dressed-up as a domestic violence lament. This “blame it on the guns” spiel has become one of the most popular new excuses for black misbehavior, as it gets harder and harder for them to blame everything directly on nasty ‘ol, racist whitey! It all dovetails nicely with the greater left-wing idealism that has become the very foundation of “African American Culture.”
Posted by HH at 1:53 AM on October 11
How is this news? Blacks have a homicide rate 11 times that of Whites. It would be astonishing if they didn’t have extraordinarily high rates of every other sort of crime and social pathology.
Posted by Schoolteacher at 2:33 AM on October 11
Anna:
I sympathize with you totally. I am a 47 year old Black woman who was in a very violent relationship with a man who like you , is now my former husband. I was married for 10 years. When I was 38, I finally was able to get a divorce. My experience statred off as verbal abuse which I largely tried to ignore. After a while, it became more gradual. He would slap me and then apologize. After two years of marriage, I lived in constant terror him. Once I woke up and there was a knife to my throat. Another time he beat me so bad that I refused to leave the house for a week.
No one knew what was happening. Whenever we went out to visit friends or family, I managed to conceal my scars. I did not even discuss it with my friends or family. I wanted them to believe that Robert was the perfect husband. Overtime he tried to limit my contact with family or friends. One night in 1998, he came home after being out with friends. He was so drunk that he came into our bedroom, lifted me out of bed and began slapping me so hard that my eye was swollen and my nose was bleeding. I begged him to stop.
Once he stopped , he left the house and told me to have breakfast ready when he returned by 7:30. It was a this point that I knew I had to leave or I was going to end up DEAD! I took what belongings of mine that I could, called a taxi to take me to the train station, left St.Louis and went to my oldest sisters home in Columbus, Ohio. Once I arrived, I called her from the train station and told her what had happened. She came and got me and I stayed with her for a month. I had to get a restraining order for my now ex-husband. He called around to find out where I was at and threatened to kill me.
With the help of family and friends and couseling, I was able to free myself of the psychological terror this man had inflicted on me for almost ten years. I actually dropped out of college (against my parents wishes) to marry this man because I loved him so much! I went back to college, earned my BA in 2004 and I have been a middle school counselor for two years. I hope to have my masters degree by spring 2010. I started last year and I am going parttime taking courses in the evening.
I am now a different person. I am dating a wonderful man who treats me well ans is very supportive of me. However, I cannot say that I will marry again. I still have some healing and trusting to do. When I read your story, I literally cried. It brought back so many painful memories. I am also glad, that like me, you were able to break free of such a violent relationship.
The one thing I regret is not having children, although that may have been a blessing in disguise given the drama I was enduring.
As you know, being in an abusive relationship is like being in hell on earth! It is a horrible existence and it happens to women of all races and economic classes.
I want to wish you the best and may God bless you!!!! We are kindred sprits!!!!
BEST,
EVELYN
P.S. - Generalquagmyer, how you can make such light of a serious subject like battered women is beyond me! If you have any sisters or daughters, I pray that they never have to endure the pain of such a psychologically violent, abusive and potentionally deadly situation.
Posted by Evelyn at 2:43 AM on October 11
In the days of slavery it was often said that slavery was in fact a mercy for black women, in so far as they swapped one tyrant (who was violent, brutal and overbearing), for another who was merely overbearing.
Posted by Kenelm Digby at 8:31 AM on October 11
I bet black women who are married to black men are less likely to be abused than those who are “shacking up”. Although AmRen readers are right that the problem is black males’ propensity to violence, part of it is the “shacking up” lifestyle, which is probably more common among whites today as it was among blacks 50 years ago. White illegitimacy today matches that of blacks 50 years ago. Whites should not just note the social pathologies of blacks but take care to avoid going down the same route themselves. They have already traveled a long way along the same road.
Posted by Indian Guy at 8:51 AM on October 11
Anna and Evelyn:
As much as many women desire strong men, I am a strong-willed guy who craved and won over a strong woman. I’ve been married to her for 36 years and thank God every night that I found her.
Strong women give this world a lot of the good that it needs. In your cases I’m glad you survived, persevered, and finally found a new life in which your loving and strong ways have been rewarded. God bless!
Posted by Annoyed In Illinois at 10:27 AM on October 11
And yet alot of white women flock to the darker side everyday. I have a theory about this phenomenon. I think alot of white women flock to blacks and hispanics due to the macho image they put forth. Too many of our white kinsmen have been neutered by domineering mothers that teach them to get in touch with their feminine side. No woman wants a man that needs a woman to lead him. There is a difference between treating a woman with respect and being lead by them. Maybe I’m wrong, but I feel that no woman wants a weak man. Period. Even at the risk of being mistreated by blacks and hispanics, they want an assertive man. I could be way off-base, but I don’t think so. If any ladies on AmRen have any insight to offer, I would love to hear from you.
Posted by at 6:50 PM on October 10
I am a white woman who likes strong, yet balanced white men; those who are not misogynists and realize that not all women are the same, and respect the ones who are worthy of it, and who try to set a good Christian example for those women and men who are weak. I do agree with you that both parents have a hand in the weak, spineless, self centered, selfish, empty, vain, shallow, characterless women and men of my generation (I’m almost 38) and it seems like it just gets worse the younger the generation.
I would never, ever date or marry a Black or Hispanic.
Posted by at 2:06 PM on October 11
“domestic violence hits black women harder”,,
The real question is who is ENGAGING in all this violence. Had this headline been more truthful it would have read “black males engage in more domestic violence”. Which is not at all surprising to anyone who is familiar with black males. Not the fictional black male shown on TV and in Hollywood but the real-life ones.
Posted by at 2:30 PM on October 11
Evelyn:
Thank you for sharing your story. It is great to see that you have moved on and started a brand new life for yourself.
I can understand you being somewhat apprehensive about marriage given your inital experiences, however, do not totally rule it out. The fact is your current boyfriend could turn out to be a wonderful person.
Once again, thank you for sharing your story. Yes, we are kindred sprits and hopefully other women of any race who have or are suffering from violent, abusive men will have the strength to leave.
May God Bless you as well.
ANNA
Posted by Anna at 3:40 PM on October 11
Most blacks in America share the same ideology toward decadence and instant gratification in current Socialist America.
The pursuit of status and worldly posessions among blacks stems from the civil rights movement and is more extreme within the black community because it involves high rates of murder and rape.
In regard’s to current trends in the black community it seems that greedy black men view black women as excess baggage at times when the opportunities to date more attractive women, to date out of race, to gain status and greater finances present themselves to affect black relationships.
Black males are also more capable of domestic abuse stemming from jealousy when black females become successful.
As a single white working man I moved to a predominantly black neighborhood in Philly looking for prearranged fights to improve my skills in my trade as a bouncer while going to college.
What started as a mission to succeed from one place to the next became an observation into the lives of blacks in the twenty and thirty age set.
Today, as a married man with one child of my own and one on the way I can honestly tell whites to quietly help blacks avoid from entering into white neighborhoods in numbers because black relationsships sour and your good intentions toward blacks can have unintended consequences for the quality of your life.
Posted by PhiladelphiaPatriot at 7:29 PM on October 11
I’ve read that men who have bad relationships with their fathers are more likely to become atheists. I wouldn’t be surprised to find that women who had bad relationships with their fathers are more likely to end up dating/living with/marrying jerks.
I do think that the increase in illegitimacy has a negative effect on both boys and girls. Boys are more likely to experience school failure and to get involved in crime, while girls are more likely to get pregnant, etc. The whole “shacking up” culture makes life VERY bad for children. With multiple “stepfathers” in the home, along with their often worthless brothers, cousins and friends, boys get to see a very bad example up close and personal, while girls are likely to be molested at some point.
I had a bad relationship with my father, and married young to a jerk. He was horrible to me during the marriage, and was a continuing problem after we divorced. Good luck and best wishes to Evelyn and Anna.
Posted by at 8:13 PM on October 11
“Maybe I’m wrong, but I feel that no woman wants a weak man.”
That’s called evolution, or, more appropriate to the exact situation, eugenics.
Posted by at 8:42 PM on October 11
6:50pm, October 10th
Women want a man who is strong and confident in himself. However, they do not want a violent brute who physically attacks them to the point of endangering their life and self-esteem!!!
No woman in her right mind wants a violent thug for a husband!!!
Posted by Wendy at 1:13 AM on October 12
10:24pm:
For many women it’s about the money. I guarantee you that if the situation was reversed and Black men had the income of many White men, you would see alot of middle and upper class White women with Black men.
In fact, you do see a number of these White women dating Black professionals and athletes.
Jew among you:
For the most part, whenever you see a White male/Black female couple, they are usually solid middle class or higher economically. It is highly unlikely that these are the type of men who would physically beat Black women.
Posted by Thomas at 1:21 AM on October 12
My niece who is 21 was involved with a black male starting last January and it was an abusive relationship, one night last March he threw her cellphone to the ground and stomped on it and hit her in the face and blacked her eye and put scratches on her face, a few weeks after that she came home one night and when she pulled up in the driveway he ran out and would not let her out of the car, everytime she would try to open the door he would kick it back shut, he finally let her out and when she got out he pushed her into the side of the car back first and put a big bruise across her back.
Her mother (my sister) tried to talk to her and get her to leave him and she finally did in August.
Posted by Jason at 2:03 AM on October 12
2:06pm:
The fact is that many young Whites (especially men) only want to have sex with people (of all races) and not be responsbile adults.
I think the mainstream media has contributed to this situation.
Posted by Jan at 4:21 AM on October 12
Anonymous wrote:
With multiple “stepfathers” in the home, along with their often worthless brothers, cousins and friends, boys get to see a very bad example up close and personal, while girls are likely to be molested at some point.
There’s one more bad effect. When a male lion takes over a pride, the two first things he does is: (1) Drive out other males of adult or adolescent age, and (2) Kill the infant cubs of the females, in order to eliminate a distraction that would keep them from mating with him.
This behavior has also been observed in human beings. As for (2), Dr. Laura Schlessinger stated once that the rate of infanticide is 60 times higher in stepfamilies than “traditional” ones. Keep your ears and eyes open — whenever there is a story on the news about a baby being murdered, it’s almost always at the hands of the baby’s mother’s relatively new boyfriend or husband. As for (1), it’s harder to prove, but two years ago, there was a story from Maplewood, an inner suburb of St. Louis that is getting blacker by the year. The story was that the school district that served Maplewood was opening a homeless shelter for high-school aged students. For what happens is that their “mama” gets a new “boo” in the house, and essentially drives out their teenage offspring by blackmailing the mothers with him leaving (these teenage offspring are usually sons, if it’s a teenage daugther, “boo” doesn’t mind her staying around as an “escapade on the side,” if you catch my drift), and this has created an epidemic of homelessness among teenage (mostly) boys who still haven’t “graduated” from high school.
http://countenance.wordpress.com/2006/06/29/pride-of-the-city/
Posted by Question Diversity at 9:56 AM on October 12
“…Her mother (my sister) tried to talk to her and get her to leave him and she finally did in August…”
Posted by Jason at 2:03 AM on October 12
Dr. Laura also reports that approximately 95% of these women go back to their abusers—and there is not much you or anyone else can do about it.
We have a local DA, a 30-year expert in domestic abuse cases, who speaks at my school on occasion. She told me the ONLY thing that stops abusers is jail—‘counseling’ and ‘anger management’ do not work. Often TROs (temporary restraining orders) only further anger the abuser resulting in the murder of the abused. Much of the abuse is fueled by drugs and/or alcohol.
The only things that works, as it does with AIDS, is preventative measures—which is not possible in unintelligent, dysfunctional cultures whose members have limited reasoning power and poor impulse control. They know they won’t ever be held accountable for their failures, that the government will step in to take care of them when they screw up, and absolve them of any personal responsibility.
There are so many dysfunctional families that I see in the course of my day in the schools—especially those headed by single females trying to control angry, dangerous, feral teenage sons (that will eventually be unleashed on the rest of us). Gee, could the 60s leftist and feminists be wrong? Do fathers really matter for boys? Were they wrong that a woman can raise a boy to be a man?
I’m with Jared Taylor: Required birth control for anyone receiving welfare.
It amazes me that the leftists I work with (the schools are FULL of them) still believe the problems of underclass NAMs are based on unjust economic differences and a White power structure hell-bent on ‘keeping people of color down.’ NAMs are not responsible for anything and NAM anger towards Whites is blamed on the ‘stresses of living in a White-controlled society’ that views people of color as ‘expendable.’
High out-of-wedlock births, high drop out rates, rampant crime and mayhem of NAMs are always blamed on Whites, according to the sick egaltarian philosophy and warped world view of lefties.
Yeah, Gimme a break.
Bon
Posted by BonBon at 1:14 PM on October 12
Jason:
While I am sorry to hear about your niece’s situation and I am glad she got out of such a violent relationship, the fact is that many young White men are abusnve to their wives and girlfriends as well. Domestic abuse is not solely Black or solely White.
Thomas:
You are somewhat mislead. Domestic violence cuts across all economic classes.The fact is that a number of upscale men engage in the physical abuse of their wives. It is not only a lower income/poor man thing.
Posted by Gail at 3:15 PM on October 12
Anna and Evelyn:
Physical abuse is a crime in our society and should be severely punished to the limit of the law. What happened ti you also, and this may come as a surprise, to many men in abusive relationships with violent women. Yes, you will not read about it in the MSM much if at all but if you spend some time consulting the actual figures from the federal crime reports you will find this to be the case. It does ot fit the steotype well but facts are facts. Unfortunately many women tend to seek out abusive relationships for psychological reasons of which they are not conscious.
There is a natural tendency for black women to have relationships with black men and this explains the differences in abuse rates. Black men, especially when involved in non-marital relationships tend to exhibit all of the same characteristic of their group (impulsivity, violence, inability to delay gratification, low levels of IQ ad work success, ad the list of pathologies goes on and on). They, thus, are highly likely to form abusive relationships with women, black or white. For a white woman to form a relationship with a young black male is an invitation to become of victim of abuse.
Rember that women generally are the ones who determine whether or not a relationship is established for the most part (this is merely a function of their role in the mating system). I do not have a great deal of sympathy for women who chose to enter relationships with the average back male as they should know what they are getting themselves into. While this places black women in a difficult position, it is one which current black “culure” tends to support in many ways. If black women wish to be treated decently by their black mates, the must demand such treatment, not merely expect it as is]t it is very unlikely to occur without their being highly disriminating in the choices they make.
I have absolutely no sympathy for white women who become the victims of abusive black men with whom they have willingly formed a relationship. They gladly bring themselves down to the level of their black mates ad should know what to expect.
Posted by at 9:45 PM on October 12
I haven’t been posting but I do have been reading AmRen just as regularly and I am heartbroken to hear about the stories of men abusing their wives. It does not matter what race a woman is of. No woman deserves being physically abused by their husbands.
Around Toronto, I have not heard much about husbands physically abusing their wives, but I have heard about too many women of all races having been raped in the past. It is ridiculous. White women do appear to be more targetted than women of other races when it comes to sexual abuse.
Why hit a woman? I don’t get it. What benefit does he get from hitting a woman? Well “Much of the abuse is fueled by drugs and/or alcohol.” can explain some of it. But I wonder how much truth there is to it though.
My parents had difficult moments but my dad never cheated, and my dad never hit my mother and they have always been happily married. But if you want some honesty I have been physically abused numerously by my dad while I was growing up. Believe it or not, in East Asian families it is not wrong to physically abuse the child all in the name of “education”. And unfortunately it is the worst among Korean families. Japan and China aren’t far behind. If you want the exact order, it is Korea-China-Japan. My parents did feed me properly and did make quite a bit of investment in my education though. There were endless times when I screamed in my heart, “it’s ok if you make me starve, it’s ok if you make less investment in me, but please stop hitting me!” I heard there is a little bit of physical child abuse if you go to some parts of Eastern Europe.
I do not plan to abuse my children though… (well I am not even married yet) because physically abusing children do not work. I have quite a bit of experience of teaching young children and I have seen it again and again that forcing children or hitting children does not work. Children do not like being coldly told what to do. Nobody does. Children love hearing compliments, children love being tickled, having eye contacts and being hugged, children love little prizes, and they love it when they are assured that the adults or the teachers are there to deeply communicate with them, play games or sports with them.
Posted by Korean guy at 2:17 AM on October 13
For many women it’s about the money. I guarantee you that if the situation was reversed and Black men had the income of many White men, you would see alot of middle and upper class White women with Black men.
In fact, you do see a number of these White women dating Black professionals and athletes.
Thomas, contrary to the popular belief, even majority of African American athletes are married to African American women. about 90% of African American athletes are married to African American women, and among the remaining 10%, roughly 5% are married to other non-white women such as Southwest Asian women and hispanic women. Allen Iverson, Vince Carter, Kevin Garnett, Tracey McGrady, they are all married to black women. and LeBron is currently dating a young black woman.
http://www.yaaams.org/editorials/articles/whitewives.php
Mrs. Garnett is quite beautiful by the way.
But for some reason the retarded mainstream media does not pay much attention when a well-known African American athlete marries
an African American woman, but the media pays all kinds of attention when a well-known African American athlete marries a white woman. And first of all, I agree with you, if black men had proper education and hold respectful professions like white men, we would indeed see more BM/WF couples, but it is not true that women are heavily money-driven. You won’t believe how some young white women would pay everything for their black boyfriends in baggy pants… I once read some white women give money to their black boyfriends at restaurants just so others would think it is the man who is paying for the meals.
Posted by at 4:34 AM on October 13
“For many women it’s about the money. I guarantee you that if the situation was reversed and Black men had the income of many White men, you would see alot of middle and upper class White women with Black men.”
Actually today, a lot of black men do have money, a whole lot of them. I frequently see black men spending more money on clothes, cars, music, food and electronic equipment and such than white men and a lot of black men dress better and more expensively than whites.
Posted by at 7:35 AM on October 13
“We have a local DA, a 30-year expert in domestic abuse cases, who speaks at my school on occasion. She told me the ONLY thing that stops abusers is jail—‘counseling’ and ‘anger management’ do not work.”
Why should it surprise anyone about black males? They kill other black males at far greater rates, why would it be any different with killing black females. I also agree that conseling and anger management don’t work on domestic abuse situations because the reason people abuse others is because they are mean bullies who push people around who are weaker and whom they think they can get away with doing it. Some mean bullies are white men and some are female by the way. As such counseling doesn’t work because it won’t make a mean or amoral person “nice and moral”, neither does “anger management” work because these people choose not to manage their behavior. As I said, only force works with bullies.
Posted by at 7:45 AM on October 13
“Black men who are basically spoiled, impulsive, violent, stupid men-children.” AvgDude
Unfortunately, this is a big problem for the black community.
I feel sorry for educated black women. I’ve known many in my profession. Black women really have to get out there and compete for their men. Their choices are limited with many of the better, highly educated men marrying early or going for white women.
Posted by Sardonicus at 11:34 AM on October 13
“Actually as a woman, I don’t agree that it has to do with weakness. It’s just that we whites have are stupid ones too. White women who go with blacks, and I’ve known some, are usually stupid and often lower class, at least the ones I knew. Note that you seldom see middle and upper class white women with black men. I think lower class dumb white females find their element. Also, there are some stupid women that like a “bad boy”. They don’t want a nice man because they either have some psychological problem or they’re stupid.”
Still, you don’t see many white men AT ALL “going with” black women. It seems to be simply white women with black men. Perhaps, poster, you are not this way (indeed, most women don’t seem to be), but there certainly are those women who are. And you actually said it yourself: “Also, there are some stupid women that like a “bad boy.” A “bad boy” is basically another way of saying macho.
Posted by at 12:25 PM on October 13
Anna & Evelyn:
How do we get from my white-women-are-victims-too to your generalquagmyer-has-little-regard-for-women?!
I WOULD say that a goodly number of women—at least two that are posting here—have a definite tendency to hear what they WANT to hear rather than what is being said…
Posted by generalquagmyer at 1:22 PM on October 13
“White women do appear to be more targetted than women of other races when it comes to sexual abuse.”
I would say this is true. I believe it is because white women are the most sexualy attractive women in the world. Black males in the USA rape or sexualy assualt nearly 40,000 white women per year.
On another racial website that I read alot a black male actually admitted in the opposing views section that the reason black males target white women for rape so much is because they are so attractive.
Posted by Jason at 2:03 PM on October 13
I don’t believe, other than the one or two truly deranged people posting, that anyone is dismissing spousal abuse.
What we have to keep in mind is to remain focused on the article which says that black women are more likely victims of abuse. Since black women are largely in relationships with black men, black men are the ones committing dispassionate amount of violence.
All this confirms that black men are more violent whether it’s because of testosterone or poor impulse control or any other reason.
The reasons are unimportant. The bottom line is that black men are more likely to be violent and dangerous and should be avoided at all cost and everyone should know the facts.
Posted by sbuffalonative at 3:28 PM on October 13
Mike NY at 6:52 PM on October 10 wrote:
“Read the comments section - If a woman were the victim, no one would even think of posting the kinds of comments that readers have filled four pages with.”
You are opening another can of worms. For decades now, Americans have been inculcated with the anti-human philosophy known as radical feminism. Long gone are the days of “Father Knows Best.” Now (in large part thanks to the mass media), Father is an idiot who can’t tie his own shoes without Mommy’s help (e.g.: Ralph Kramden, Archie Bunker, Al Bundy, Homer Simpson, to name but a paltry few).
This all-out assault on the natural order of our species will have nothing but dire effects for our race down the road, as it has in fact, already.
http://www.dartmouth.edu/~pmaweb/BEJEAP.pdf
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2005/01/050121100142.htm
http://www.wcbs880.com/pages/1280368.php?
Posted by at 3:48 PM on October 13
One aspect of domestic violence that no seems to be able to grasp is that women often will attack a man relentlessy secure in the knowledge that he will not hit her back and that if he does she can call 911 and activate an entire army against him.
If a man goes to the police with a charge of battery against his wife, even with eyewitness accounts and video tape, they absolutely will not do anything about it except ridicule the man and accuse him of not being able to handle the “little woman”. Even when women shoot thier husbands, more often than not; it’s the man that goes on trial; not the woman.
A soldier in Vilseck, Germany comes home from a week in freezing temperatures, very little sleep, no showers, bad food and totally exhausted. The wife is angry at the world and wants to start a fight, all he wants is a hot meal and a good night’s sleep. She then picks up a large knife and totally buries it in his shoulder, in front of thier two teenage children.In the process of attempting to pull out the knife, she jumps in the way and is struck by the back of his hand.He rushes out to get to the health clinic.Even though he tells the truth, his children tells the truth, neighbors swear that she provoked it and had even talked about wanting to kill him. He’s arrested, charged and convicted of domestic violence.She’s declared the victim; always it’s the woman that’s declared the victim.
American society has gone so far in the protection of the “victim” that’s it’s gotten totally ridiculos. I’m not saying that all cases are like this, but there are many studies of domestic violence that put the spotlight on the woman as the instigator, combatant, and indeed the most cold calculating killer in existance.All the while hiding behind the label “victim”!
So I generally take domestic violence stories with a grain of salt and an extremely skeptical attitude. Read some of the studies, talk with men and listen to thier side of the story. You just might be surprised at what you learn.
Posted by at 7:37 PM on October 13
I think that abuse is hardly the epidemic that the feminists make it out to be. This is coming from someone who was emotionally and physically abused by an Arab ex husband. I am now married to a white man and he would never treat me with the disregard that my former husband did. He actually told me that I was nothing more than a piece of furnature to him.
I was 23 when I divorced him and I have recovered from the abuse. When feminists say abuse, many times they mean someone saying a harsh word or calling someone a name in anger. Abuse sometimes starts that way but I do not know how many marriages have been broken up due to the husband getting mad and calling his wife a name. The wife goes to work crying the next day and pretty soon her feminist coworkers get her to see some sort of counselor who tells her that she is being abused. Next thing you know the man is slapped with a restraining order and never sees his wife and kids again.
Posted by Spartan24 at 8:29 PM on October 13
Actually today, a lot of black men do have money, a whole lot of them. I frequently see black men spending more money on clothes, cars, music, food and electronic equipment and such than white men and a lot of black men dress better and more expensively than whites.
Posted by at 7:35 AM on October 13
Don’t confuse spending with wealth! Just because black men spend lots of money on ostentatious clothes and toys doesn’t mean they have investments or high incomes - see “bling” culture, govt statistics, etc.
The average net worth of blacks is much lower than whites, even adjusted for income. Middle class black households have less than half the net worth of whites with the equal income (and it’s probably even worse now with the housing crash, since whites are more likely to have assets outside of a house). Blacks over-spend, under-save, and are heavy credit card users.
Posted by Jill at 8:32 PM on October 13
“And first of all, I agree with you, if black men had proper education and hold respectful professions like white men,”
Black men today have more opportunities to this then whites. The government will bend over backwards to give black males grants for college which mean they get free college. Colleges will let blacks in on lower scores, they actively recruit blacks. Most city, state and government jobs and a whole lot of others will give blacks preferences. If a black male doesn’t have “proper education” or hold a respectful profession, it’s not for lack of the government trying.
Posted by KC at 8:37 PM on October 13
“….I frequently see black men spending more money on clothes, cars, music, food and electronic equipment and such than white men and a lot of black men dress better and more expensively than whites….”
Posted by at 7:35 AM on October 13
That’s because blacks choose to spend their money on outward appearances that they think will impress other people—things such as cars, clothes,’bling’, etc.—assets that do not increase in value in the long run but offer immediate (although fleeting) gratification.
Whites tend to put their money in places where it will grow— such as stock portfolios, real estate and Roth IRAs as Stanley and Danko explain so well in ‘The Millionaire Next Door.’
Many Whites may look poor but they are not—they just don’t see the point of using their hard-earned money trying to impress other people. I personally am very fond of 1-oz. gold coins, especially in these economic times.
Is it any wonder that Larry Elder reports:
“….when blacks and whites earn the same money, whites save 20 percent more. And a black person earning $100,000 a year had less than $5,000 in retirement savings…”
http://www.creators.com/opinion/larry-elder/blacks-banks-and-institutional-racism.html
It seems foresight, savings, and planning for the future are ‘White Things’ others wouldn’t understand…
Bon
Posted by BonBon at 12:21 AM on October 14
I think alot of white women flock to blacks and hispanics due to the macho image they put forth. Too many of our white kinsmen have been neutered by domineering mothers that teach them to get in touch with their feminine side.
Yes, I think you have a good point. Particularly when it comes to Hispanic men (lets face it a lot of the white women that end up with black men are “not the most attractive” to start with, not all, but a heck of a lot).
But I don’t think it is necessarily fair to put Hispanics in the same group. Hispanics come in a lot of shades and many look quite European (even if they have some Indian blood). I would never date a black man, but I have met and dated some pretty darn attractive Hispanic men, and I have known quite a few females that felt the same way. Yes their natural Machismo is often a large part of the attraction. Now grant it many are not going to produce blond babies, and that is a serious consideration for marriage, but for casual dating I don’t see it as a problem.
Posted by Sonya at 7:19 AM on October 14
“If a man goes to the police with a charge of battery against his wife, even with eyewitness accounts and video tape, they absolutely will not do anything about it except ridicule the man and accuse him of not being able to handle the “little woman”.”
“Abuse sometimes starts that way but I do not know how many marriages have been broken up due to the husband getting mad and calling his wife a name. The wife goes to work crying the next day and pretty soon her feminist coworkers get her to see some sort of counselor who tells her that she is being abused. Next thing you know the man is slapped with a restraining order and never sees his wife and kids again. “
I think both of you are going way too far to the other extreme. Police can and do arrest women for domestic violence all the time these days. If a man or woman, it makes no difference these days, as much as touches the other in anger, they can face a charge. Also, no counselor is going to tell a woman she is being abused because her husband called her a name one time. It’s only if it’s a pattern and restraining orders are granted only on the threat of physical violence or in cases of stalking or harassment, not because of one name-calling incident. Domestic abuse, like any other crime, has had people who have misused it, but can be genuine and one must look at the evidence to determine which, same as any other crime.
Posted by at 9:46 AM on October 14
To Sonya:
Just to throw this into the mix. Through an experiment, it was shown that when women are menstruating, they are attracted to easy-going, caring (wimpy?) men. When they’re ovulating, they’re attracted to macho men.
As men are ruled by testosterone, women are ruled by estrogen.
It might be something to keep in mind when you see a man who you find attractive and ask yourself how much of your choice at that moment is based on levels of hormones amd to be aware of why your tastes vary.
Posted by sbuffalonative at 9:53 AM on October 14
K C, you are right on the money, they bend over backwards to give all kinds of free college money to blacks, us whites have to struggle no matter how smart WE are, but after they start college they mostly drop out, they are not smart enough to learn much of anything but how to throw wild parties and sell drugs on campus!
Posted by heidi at 1:54 PM on October 14
to 9:24
I have worked with counselors who were like this. Any sort of off color remark, name or criticism was considered “emotional abuse”. I have seen this kind of thing all of the time, a man will come home from a hard day at work and just want to relax. The wife comes at him with all sorts of complaints and when the man tries to get her to leave him alone for half an hour to unwind she starts in on him. He gets angry and they trade insults for a few minutes and then after exploding it calms down for the rest of the evening.
Next day the wife goes in to work and is upset. She starts talking to her coworkers about her jerk husband and how he does not fulfill her needs. After a few sessions like this the radical feminist who would not let a man touch her with a ten mile pole chimes in. She tells the woman that she is in serious danger of abuse, name calling (no matter that this is in the heat of an arguement) is the beginning stages of abuse. It may even be that the husband, sick of his wife’s nagging and bickering after a long day, has shoved her aside to get outside to get some rest. This is definately abuse and the radical feminist is in her element, if the wife does not file a TRO then she will! The woman is totally convinced that she is an abused wife at this point. She goes home on her lunch hour, packs up and moves out, picking up the kids and taking him with her. She spends the next day speaking with domestic violence advocates who further convince her that she and the kids are in some sort of danger and accompany her to the court to get her TRO. Her husband is surprised at his job by service of the TRO and goes home to an empty house. He may even be ordered to vacate the family home. The husband is ordered into feminist reeducation training (anger management) and must complete it if he is to see his wife and kids again. There you have the long version. The kids will now start acting out in school since their homelife is so horribly interrupted and could possibly even be convinced that their dad molested them by well meaning counselors in school.
Posted by Spartan24 at 2:15 PM on October 14
I wanted to chime in on this issue and say that I was abused by an East Asian woman. Her violence if anything was worse coming from a woman since she felt that as a woman she was justified in hitting men. It was a terrible experience, one that I would not recommend to anyone else. Also the resources for men being abused by their wives are limited. In my town of Ann Arbor, when the police came to arrest my wife, they asked me what I had done to provoke her into hitting me. I think that they would not have asked this question had I been a woman being abused by a man. Also, I agree with what people said about anger management classes. When she was sent to anger management classes, the abuse if anything increased in scope and severity. She started blaming everything on me and hitting, attacking me on a weekly or biweekly basis. So I agree with those who say that jail time is preferable to anger management classes.
Posted by Mark at 2:57 PM on October 14
“And first of all, I agree with you, if black men had proper education and hold respectful professions like white men.”
That’s absolutely no excuse for domestic abuse; economic circumstances have nothing to do with it. I’m a chemist who formerly worked in the microelectronics industry, but nobody hires white US citizens to do that anymore; industry likes to claim a “shortage” of engineers so they can bring them in from China and India and pay them 2/3 of what we used to get. I’ve also been to prison. I now work as a welder out of the house I paid off four years ago. My wife and I have had exactly one argument, which I defused by making a decorative wooden box for my extra wristwatches and eyeglasses rather than have them annoy her by cluttering up the top shelf of the bookcase near our bed. On the other hand, my own father, a highly-paid university professor beat my mother, and appears to have given his second wife a black eye in the early 1990s.
There are two sorts of men in this respect; the sort who won’t beat up women at all, and the sort who will make excuses for themselves when they beat up women. By making excuses for these despicable men, you are an “enabler” and part of the problem.
Posted by Michael C. Scott at 3:35 PM on October 14
“She tells the woman that she is in serious danger of abuse, name calling (no matter that this is in the heat of an arguement) is the beginning stages of abuse. It may even be that the husband, sick of his wife’s nagging and bickering after a long day, has shoved her aside to get outside to get some rest. This is definately abuse and the radical feminist is in her element, if the wife does not file a TRO then she will!”
Sorry, but I still think this is way over the top. First, men nag and bicker with their wives too. People tend to be driven to do that when the other spouse never listens or respects them but on the other hand, some men/women have difficult personalities and are hard to get along with. The truth is that a woman is not going to leave a marriage and be able to get a restraining order and a man never able to see his kids again because of one verbal fight. Nor is some “feminist” or “counseler” going to make her do so. Like I said, I do agree that some women(or men) make false claims of spousal or child abuse to get back at the other or win a custody hearing.
“When the police came to arrest my wife, they asked me what I had done to provoke her into hitting me. I think that they would not have asked this question had I been a woman being abused by a man”
This is wrong, the police should have never asked that and just investigated and made an arrest. Abuse is wrong regardless of whether it’s a man or woman doing the hitting.
Posted by at 8:39 PM on October 14
I think both of you are going way too far to the other extreme. Police can and do arrest women for domestic violence all the time these days. If a man or woman, it makes no difference these days, as much as touches the other in anger, they can face a charge. Also, no counselor is going to tell a woman she is being abused because her husband called her a name one time.
Posted by at 9:46 AM on October 14
I generally do not attempt to start any arbitrations on a forum, but I simply cannot let this one pass.
American society will not allow women to be arrested for abusing men.I have daily contact with police in my job and I have talked with them on numerous occasions about this subject, they have told me stories about waiting for the woman to finish beating a man that refuses to hit back, arrest him and have to take him to the hospital on the way to jail. The woman is never charged with anything. They find it all rather amusing.
What caused these situations? The VAWA (violence against women act). It has made a fortune for police departments across the country. Under the act, all prosecutions against men for domestic violence is reimbursed. It’s become a cottage industry of sorts.Pad all actions,1 police officer before; now 3. Vehicles are wrecked responding to the call, resulting in a brand new police cruiser. The list goes on and on.
Bottom line:MONEY.
Posted by at 8:40 PM on October 14
Heidi:
For the record, a number of Whites attend HBCU’s on full scholarship given the fact that they are members of a minority group on campus and they are contributing to the diversity of the school.
In fact, a friend of mine had two daughters who did so. One attended Xavier University in New Orleans and the other went to North Carolina A&T in North Carolina. Afterwards, one went to law school at Yale and the other earned a masters degree in health policy at Indiana University.
According to their mother, both girls are very successful and are making a ton of money.
I think I rmember some other posters reciting similar stories of relatives and friends of theirs who had relatives who attended HBCU’s. I heard that Morehouse College had a White valedictorian this past year. That is a Black college in Georgia.
It does happen from time to time.
Posted by Timothy at 9:47 PM on October 14
Speaking as a young woman, I just have to say that I have little to no sympathy for women who stay around abusers and then have the nerve to complain about it. If you don’t like being abused, then don’t date an abuser. And if I hear of one more story about a “strong” woman who finally got the “strength” to leave her abuser after 20 years or whatever, I am going to pull my hair out. It’s not strength these women have, it’s just belated common sense.
You want to know who the strong women are? The women who get their lives together, make good choices, and pick good men. We are the strong ones. What we do is much more difficult and takes lots of rational decision-making and delayed gratification. Believe you me, deciding that only YOU decide your fate, is the hardest decision a person can ever make. Don’t worship those who made the opposite choice, because you are only rewarding people who have spent their whole lives avoiding personal accountability.
Posted by at 10:26 PM on October 14
Timothy:
You are right. Morehouse College did have a White valedictorain this past year.
I heard he is working on wall street. He is probably making megabucks!!!
Go figure.
Posted by Dean at 12:10 AM on October 15
10:26pm:
Suppose these women had children? The husband or boyfriend was the major source of income? Her ability to be able to keep insurance was based on her marital status? There are a lot of complicated factors that contribute to why some women stay in such relationships.
Your “just leave the jerk” response sounds good on its face, but things are often more complicated than that.
Posted by Lucille at 12:28 AM on October 15
“I’ve read that men who have bad relationships with their fathers are more likely to become atheists. I wouldn’t be surprised to find that women who had bad relationships with their fathers are more likely to end up dating/living with/marrying jerks”.
________________________
This isn’t true in all cases. After a childhood of observing my bully of a violent father mistreat my mother and the rest of us, I married a wonderful man who was quiet, strong, and loving…the total opposite of my cowardly father.
That was 33 years ago and this marriage has turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
Perhaps it just depends on whether a young woman is a better judge of men than her mother and if she is determined to find someone who treats her well.
Posted by at 7:18 AM on October 15
Lucille - I am 10:26. My response to that is easy: never, ever allow yourself to get into that position. Don’t make babies that you personally could not support if you had to. Say your man was a good guy who died without life insurance. Then what would you do? Lots of things can come up in life. You never know when you will have to support yourself and your children. I think that women ought to stop being whining victims. That time has passed. It is 2008 and women who live in the United States have no good excuse to not be self-reliant.
Posted by at 1:55 PM on October 15
Also, no counselor is going to tell a woman she is being abused because her husband called her a name one time.
I did not say after one time. I should have clarified, this sort of conversation among women takes place at most workplaces that are dominated by women. A woman might make the same complaint several times before being told that she is being abused. This is starting to happen to men who are married to immigrant women. The woman automatically gets a green card is she charges her husband or boyfriend with “domestic violence”.
To the person who does not understand why women do not leave abusive men: you have not been there. If you are dependant on a man for your home, the food you eat and the car you drive then you might understand. I always said that I would never allow a man to hit me, it rarely starts with a fist to the side of the head. It starts with derogatory name calling, controlling and separating a woman from her family and only when a woman is totally isolated the physical abuse begins. By this time the woman is totally under the man’s control and often has children so she cannot get away without possibly losing her kids. It is only in this sort of circumstance would I tell a woman to go to a women’s shelter or domestic violence office.
Posted by Spartan24 at 3:12 PM on October 15
When feminists say abuse, many times they mean someone saying a harsh word or calling someone a name in anger. Abuse sometimes starts that way but I do not know how many marriages have been broken up due to the husband getting mad and calling his wife a name. The wife goes to work crying the next day and pretty soon her feminist coworkers get her to see some sort of counselor who tells her that she is being abused. Next thing you know the man is slapped with a restraining order and never sees his wife and kids again.
Posted by Spartan24 at 8:29 PM on October
_________________________________________________________________
Thanks to the Violence Against Women Act, violence can be defined as critizing dinner. Thus the danger of federal offenses passed for the benefit of lawyers. This particular act was written by Joe Biden.
Posted by middle-aged magnolia at 5:14 PM on October 15
“Keep your ears and eyes open — whenever there is a story on the news about a baby being murdered, it’s almost always at the hands of the baby’s mother’s relatively new boyfriend or husband.”
_________________________________________________________________
Monday two black babies were murdered in Memphis within an hour of each other in unrelated instances. In both cases, the babies were killed by the mama’s boyfriend, one 18 and the other 23. They hit the babies, one 11 months old and one 19 months old, because they were crying.
Posted by middle-aged magnolia at 5:23 PM on October 15
Anna and Evelyn:
Your personal stories were riveting. I am glad that the two of you have been able to move on and perservere. Evelyn, like Anna said, don’t give up on marriage.
Second mariiages can often be the best ones!
God bless!
Posted by Sandra at 2:35 PM on October 16